Cielo Azul

Discussions on Development: The Right of Indigenous Communities to Hit the Airwaves

2012-01-27T08:43:00.000-08:00

I read this article today, and it really upset me. So I wanted to share it.

What upsets me, is that there are people trying to make things better in Guatemala, people and organizations that go to great lengths to write and promote legislation that would create equality and fairness, and I'm not just talking about this specific issue--this is just one example.

These bills get introduced, and the Guatemalan congress completely fucks it up. Pardon the language.

Why do they have to be so damn corrupt? Why can't they help Guatemala change, for the better? Why can't they promote safety and equality? Why can't they care about anyone but themselves and the interestes that are lining their pockets?

What would be so terrible about indigenous communities having community radio stations where they can empower women, promote education and awareness? Ok, that's a dumb question: if you educated indigenous communities, you wouldn't be able to keep them down. I get it.

This is the exact reason why Carlos Castresana resigned from the CICIG in 2010: the government's inability to act and cooperate with proposed laws that would strengthen the rule of law and help combat the corruption and impunity that reign in Guatemala (for a country with one of the highest murder rates per capita, it has a 2% prosecution rate--prosecution, not conviction). The government's response to his resignation? "Sometimes were are limited, legally, or in respect of governance or financing in how we can respond to their requests." Bullshit.

Related articles (to the CICIG and Carlos Castresana):

Guatemala: Suicide or Murder?

News Updates

CICIG Update

Guatemala CICIG Updates

More Updates...

2012-01-25T20:51:00.001-08:00

....is this getting boring for you, dear Reader? I've been posting these "updates" more frequently, because...well, honestly, they're way easier to write than the other blogs I've been wanting to write. Those require multiple drafts, and research, and actual thought.

These...I just tell you what I did or didn't do!

I should be able to crank out some more thoughtful blog posts next month, when things aren't so crazy, but until then....let me tell you what I've been up to!

I had an asylum hearing for a pro bono client on Monday; gearing up for it was pretty hectic, and I'll be honest: I'm glad it's over. Un/fortunately, the judge didn't render her decision after the hearing, so I'm not sure whether we were successful or not (decision will either be mailed, or given at a hearing in April). I definitely learned a lot from this case, and although I'm sure I'll take another case from KIND sometime in the future, I'm happy to not have that looming over my head anymore. It's also pretty emotional stuff....I think I've really been compartmentalizing this case a lot so it doesn't affect me, because I hate to think what's going to happen to my client if he isn't granted asylum and has to return to his country of origin. He's such a great kid, it just makes me really sad.

Anyhow. Compartmentalizing.

I went to bikram yoga yesterday AND today. I wanted to see if I could handle back to back sessions. My back was a little sore from yesterday's work out, and although today's session didn't necessarily help that, I'm feeling a lot better now. I haven't been eating enough before going, in fear that I'll eat too much and get sick, but I think what has been happening is that I don't eat enough, so I end up getting dizzy about 15 minutes into an 80 minute workout. Today was the first time that I didn't have to sit out any major portions of the routine, which I'm really excited about.

This week has been the week of meetings and basically not being home for dinner. Monday was tutoring (we worked on a science project, which was AWESOME!), Tuesday night I had a meeting for the Annual Meeting and Fundraiser for Corazon that I've helped put together (it's on Saturday, let me know if you're interested in attending), tonight was my first meeting as a director for the OC Hispanic Bar Association (I got to say things like "yay" and "nay" in a non-sarcastic, totally-serious manner), tomorrow I'm meeting a potential client for The Merry Ministers at 7:30 p.m., and Friday I'm heading to the Oceanside area to help out with a church retreat for confirmation students, oh and Saturday is the Corazon event.

Let's just say, I'm really excited for Sunday :)

Today I met with a client, went to Goodwill and Salvation Army to look for a filing cabinet (I've outgrown my little file drawer on my desk!), and got to enjoy lunch with Jeff...we sat out in the backyard and were able to enjoy some of today's amazing weather. I absolutely LOVE being able to see Jeff in the middle of my day.

I also deposited money into my business account, as well as my client trust account. That felt pretty cool. Due to the former deposit, I was also able to write out a check for my State Bar annual dues (um, no biggie, just FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS). Last year I had to ask my family to help me cover the expense because I couldn't come up with the money. It's nice to see that I'm moving in the right direction, and being able to pay this money from my business account rather than our personal account was HUGE.

Jeff and I resorted to our mantra on Saturday, and reminded ourselves that we had to keep putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations to experience new things. We were both pretty wiped out--I had attended a 6-hour MCLE, and Jeff had helped his dad with some kitchen remodeling duties--and we were really tempted to cancel both of our social commitments for the night. But we stuck with them, and were really excited we did. Jeff got to meet the people I've been meeting with throughout the last year in organizing stuff for Corazon, and then we had a genuinely good time at a karaoke lounge in Irvine. The latter event was definitely out of our comfort zone, and given that we weren't getting there until after 10 p.m., it was way past our bedtime. BUT, we sang out little hearts out, and had a great time. So, keep in mind: the mantra works!

We haven't done so good on the eating healthy part lately...

Jeff has been incredibly productive over the last few days. He's been working really hard on editing all the pictures he's taken in the last couple months, including pictures from our trip to Big Bear. He has so much talent it's insane. Here are some of my favorite (mostly) scenic pictures:

In closing, I want to encourage all of you to start getting into the Valentine's Day spirit, and buy some hand made valentines cards made by yours truly. I have to say, they're pretty darn cute! And all of it goes to help Haiti Scholarships. So, get back into the spirit of being in second grade, and send your mom and best friends some Valentine love :)

Jeff took these pictures also :) If you're interested in purchasing them, you can get more info here.

If you made it this far into my random cathartic writing, thank you for reading, and good night!

Resolution Updates

2012-01-19T19:19:00.000-08:00

This week I was trying to figure out something different to make for lunch that wasn't sandwich's or microwaveable pizzas. I was at a loss walking around the grocery store, when I saw tortilla wraps...ta-da! So I ran to the other side of the store and added sprouts and hummus to the cart. Not too shabby, eh?

I also started my yoga classes yesterday, which made me incredibly, but beautifully, sore today.

I wasn't as productive on the law firm front, but I did attend a meeting for South Orange County church youth ministers, caught up with quite a few great friends, had a brief meeting with a client, did some contract work, and attended a webinar for silent auction fundraisers. Oh and I started tutoring with my family again! It was so great to see them again, and catch up on all that both families have been up to.

Oh and had a meeting with some potential clients for The Merry Ministers, and set up another appointment with potential clients for Sunday.

I've been procrastinating a little on some stuff, so next week it's time to step it up.

2012 Mix!

2012-01-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

This is what I came home to on Monday:

And I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty sweet. So I thought I'd share.

Track 1: Lana Del Rey--Blue Jeans

Track 2: Lana Del Rey--Video Games

Pretty awesome voice, just don't google her SNL performance.

Track 3: Jonsi--Go Do (should sound very familiar, like Sigur Ros familiar)

Track 4: Sigur Ros--Gobbledigook

Track 5: Arcade Fire--Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) (there's also an interactive video for this song)

Track 6: Arcade Fire--Ready to Start

Track 7: Arcade Fire--The Suburbs

Track 8: Alexander--Truth

Track 9: Gold Panda--Quitter's Raga

Track 10: Purity Ring--Loftcries

Track 11: Purity Ring--Ungirthed

Track 12: Empire of the Sun--Walking on a Dream

Track 13: Modest Mouse--Gravity Rides Everything

Track 14: Modest Mouse--Blame it on the Tetons

Track 15: Modest Mouse--Bankrupt on Selling

Track 16: Aloe Blacc--You Make Me Smile

Forgotten Track: Dead Man's Bones (not the official video, but pretty cool)

He's pretty awesome, right? Oh, my husband, not Ryan Gosling...just clarifying :)

Charity of the Month: Aimee Cornell & Uplift Internationale

2012-01-19T08:17:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you've seen the commercials...children with cleft palates and other facial deformities. As with similar commercials that tug at the heartstrings, sometimes it's easier to change the channel than to sit through and watch it. But, the reality of it is still there. Aimee Cornell realizes this and is joining an organization that is taking action to help children with facial deformities. She's going with Uplift Internationale, on their annual Operation Taghoy in the Philippines. Appropriately enough, "Taghoy" is a Philippine word for "whistle"!

Some background on why Uplift Internationale chose the Philippine's as the location for one of the missions:

1 of every 350 live births is estimated to be at risk of having a facial deformity, more than twice the incidence noted in developed countries
Children born with a deformity do not always receive timely care and are at greater risk of frequent upper respiratory infections, hearing deficits, speech impediments, as well as misaligned teeth and jaws
These facial deformities rob children of many things we take for granted, like the charm of a smile or the pleasure of a whistle
Municipal hospitals, institutions mandated to provide care to the impoverished, are typically ill-funded, poorly equipped and understaffed so as to prioritize care to emergent before elective problems
Less than 1/2 of the total hospital beds are located in rural communities where nearly 70% of the population resides

To address these needs, Uplift Internationale started an annual medical mission, named Operation Taghoy. This is a two-week medical mission to provide reparative surgical care to indigent children in the rural Philippines born with facial deformities, primarily clefts of the lip and palate. These medical services are provided by professionals and personnel who volunteer their time to fly to the Philippines and perform these surgeries. That's pretty awesome stuff.

The care is provided without cost to the children or their families, and with minimal burden to the host hospitals. If you want to see the impact this has on children who have these surgeries, check out this little girl's reaction when she sees herself for the first time, post-op.

So, this is what Amy will be helping with when she leaves to the Philippines in 2-3 weeks. Amy will be on the outreach team, which means she's responsible for helping coordinate patients pre- and post-surgery, and also to document the trip so that Uplift Internationale can spread the word about the work they are doing in the Philippines.

Thanks to some great friends that have helped her along the way, Amy has already reached her fundraising goal of $1,500.00, but for a small organization like this, donations are always welcome to help prepare for future operations. Without donors, they wouldn't be able to provide these medical services at no-cost to the recipient. I encourage you all the check out the organization, and check out Amy's blog to see how her adventure goes!

I also want to share some of Amy's words on why she got involved, and encourage all of you to do the same, with whatever organization or mission is nearest and dearest to you:

"I decided to get involved because I can! I'm lucky - I'm a happy and healthy 28 year old, and I am satisfied enough with my life that I can devote a little part of it to someone else. I can give up a few weeks of my year to be a part of something bigger, and I have friends and family who can help me do that, and in turn, participate themselves. For me, life is all about being involved. If you don't get off your butt and participate, how can you expect to shape the world they way you envision it to be? It's not so much a question of why you should get involved, it's a question of why you shouldn't."

Amen.

Discussion on Development: Violence, Impunity & Women

2012-01-16T14:16:00.000-08:00

I've written and translated before regarding the case of Cristina Siekavizza. Today I came across another piece that I felt compelled to translate and share with everyone. I'd like this to be a companion piece to a future blog entry on violence against women in Latin American countries.

As an FYI, this past Saturday there was a walk held in honor of Cristina, and so many women like here. Hence, the title and subject, "Yo Camino."

I Walk, by Mauricio Labbe

I walk for all the Cristinas, so they know they are not alone. I walk because I am a man and I believe in love and respect.

I walk for all the Jose Robertos and Maria Mercedes, so they know they are loved, they are looked for, and they are not forgotten.

I walk for my children, so they learn that love is shown with caresses and not blows. It is shown with sweetness and not shouting. It is shown with respect and not insolence.

I walk for my daughters, so they know that the man who proclaims to love them, doesn't humiliate them, doesn't hurt them, doesn't insult them. The man that loves them, appreciates them, values them, and admires them.

I walk because I am a man. Because I believe that our duty and obligation is to care for and protect our life companions, our mothers, our daughters, all the women that surround us.

I walk because the men that are real men, manly men, protect and care for our home. Because the real man, protects, he doesn't harm; consoles, doesn't scream; caresses, doesn't hurt; loves, doesn't humiliate.

I walk because I don't want to see bruises covered with makeup. I don't want to hear laughter hiding tears of pain. I don't want to see smiles covering up grimaces of worry.

I walk because I don't want to find women at home waiting for the next blow. I want to see them in the streets, happy, with their head held high.

I walk because I want the children to play at home, happy, and not hidden and scared of the fights. I want the example that they see in their homes to be of love and not contempt.

I walk for you Cristina, for Jose Roberto, for Maria Mercedes, for all the women that are injured and abused. For all the unhappy children affected by the violence. I walk because I want my steps and those of other men that are against violence against women, to grow little by little and that they be heard more strongly, that they may become a roar that helps us reflect and think of the example that we give our sons and daughters. I walk for the Ofelias and the Robertos, so they know that we will not rest until we find the truth, so they know it is not vengeance, it's a thirst for justice.

I walk because I am a man, I walk because I am a manly man.

The Difference

Cristina and the Barreda Syndrome

What I've Been Reading...in the Last Year

2012-01-13T14:24:00.000-08:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been a year since I wrote a comprehensive summary (is it grammatically incorrect to put those two words next to each other? ) of the books I've read. I've mainly been avoiding this because I wanted to do a grandiose post on what I thought of each book, with quotes, summaries, deep thoughts, etc. I'm realizing that might never happen, so something is better than nothing.

Of the three books I was reading when I last wrote something on this topic, I've finished two of the three. I still haven't finished reading the White Man's Burden...I don't think I've even touched it since my last post about it. Oh well, I guess that one will stay on the shelf another year or so.

So, without further ado, here we go.

In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, by Michael Pollan

I absolutely loved this book. "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." This is the main motto, which sounds a lot simpler than it really is. For example, a lot of the "food" that you eat isn't really food, it's highly processed stuff. So when he say's "eat food," there's a much more significant meaning to what he's saying than you might think ("But I contend that most of what we're consuming today is no longer, strictly speaking, food at all, and how we're consuming it--in the car, in front of the TV, and, increasingly, along--is not really eating, at least not in the sense that civilization has long understood the term."). I think this is a great introductory book to changing eating habits, and how you see the food industry in general. There are some crazy statistics that really make you think about what you're eating, and why you're eating it (think: congressional lobbies). I've been wanting to read some more books on this topic since I finished this book, but just haven't gotten around to it. One of the cleverest suggestions from this book: shop in the periphery of the grocery store: it contains the freshest and least processed stuff (produce, veggies, etc., versus boxed meals). Some of my favorite quotes:

"Thirty years of nutritional advice have left us fatter, sicker, and more poorly nourished."
"...the processing of foods typically robs them of nutrients, vitamins especially."
"By breaking the links among local soils, local foods, and local peoples, the industrial food system disrupted the circular flow of nutrients through the food chain."
"Foods that lie to our senses are one of the most challenging features of the Western diet."
"...and Americans are consuming a diet that is at least half sugars in one form or another--calories providing virtually nothing but energy."
"It's hard to believe that we're getting everything we need from a diet consisting largely of processed corn, soybeans, rice, and wheat."
MY FAVORITE: "[y]ou now have to eat three apples to get the same amount of iron as you would have gotten from a single 1940 apple, and you'd have to eat several more slices of bread to get your recommended daily allowance of zinc than you would have a century ago." INSANE (emphasis added).

On That Day Everybody Ate: One Woman's Story of Hope and Possibility in Haiti, by Margaret Trost

Jim (co-founder of Haiti Scholarships) sent me this book out of the blue. I actually was a little concerned about who had sent the book to me, since I had no idea where it came from, and someone clearly had my address, and new of my interest in Haiti, haha. But all was well, and no one was stalking me.

This is a really short and quick read, but very inspiring story--which, I'm sure, is why Jim sent it to me. It tells the real st

ory of one woman's journey to Haiti, and how she started an organization to help feed children in Haiti. It was great reading about someone going through a similar struggle with getting an organization started and off the ground, and seeing it succeed. I hope Haiti Scholarships grows to have the same success that her organization has. Some of my favorite quotes:

"It took Haiti 125 years to pay off the debt to France (estimated at a value of $21 billion today with interest and inflation calculated in), and the effects on the society were devastating."
"Iwas relieved to be back in the States, where the comforts and convenience and abundance overflowed. But at the same time, I felt nauseated." A feeling that's easily relatable for those who have traveled to similar places, I'm sure.
"Normally, I planned out every detail of a business trip, complete with a typed agenda neatly placed in a folder." I was just relieved to see that someone else does this.
A topic Reuben and I have frequently discussed is religion, and how religion seems to be more abundant in poorer areas: "'God is the first and last resource here. We feel God's presence more and more, because there is nobody else some days who can sustain us to allow us to survive. It's only God sometimes...Because the neighbor doesn't have enough, the friend's don't have anything, so we're praising God. God makes miracles. So we live by miracles, and as we live by miracles, we need faith. Our faith sustains us.'"
"This led to the importing of heavily subsidized U.S. rice, which was cheaper than Haitian rice. After a few years, Haiti's peasant farmers could not compete and most went out of business."
"Haiti is thethird-largest importer of rice from the U.S.--240,000 metric tons per year. Until the 1980s, Haiti was self-sufficient in rice production." Crazystatistic.
"Or maybe because I was discovering more and more how unfair the world is, how cruel it can be. The disparity between my life and the lives of everybody I met in Tiplas Kazo weighed on me all the time."

Freedom from Want: The Remarkable Success Story of BRAC, the Global Grassroots

Organization that's Winning the Fight Against Poverty, by Ian Smillie

This book was given to me by Reuben, and it's

another inspiring story about a nonprofit who grew quickly to address some pressing issues around the world (and curiously enough, the nonprofit that a good friend of mine went to work for in Haiti shortly after I finished reading this book!).

The title itself gives you a synopsis about what the book is about. BRAC is similar to Acumen Fund, which I mentioned on my summary of The Blue Sweater, both organizations focus on microcredit a

s a way to relieve poverty. I think one of the things I liked best about this book is that it was honest about what worked and what didn't work for the organization when it was first starting. It's great to know that organizations don't always get things right, but the difference is in manning up to that, and making it better. I'm gonna post some of my favorite parts, but this book is chalk full of great follow up resources, from other books, to articles, to organizations, etc. (I still have to follow up on all of these highlights, of course).

"[D]eveloping countries are littered with failed income-generation projects that have generated little more than loss and disappointment. While there has never been a lack of bright ideas and good intentions among aid agencies, there has too often been a surfeit of amateurism that, combined with money, can be deadly."
"It is a sad commentary on countries in Europe and North America that provide foreign aid with one hand--dispensed with lashings of advice about how poor countries must liberalize their economies and eschew subsidies--while simultaneously undercutting the world price of grain, dairy products,and other goods through generous subsidies to their own producers."
"Generally, increasing the average amount of education in the labor force by one year raises GDP by 9 percent, a statistic that holds for the first three years of education."
"'The role of education in reducing absolute poverty is decisive. Many research studies...[have] concluded that rising levels of education in a society were often accompanied by a sharp decline in absolute poverty. When poverty levels were correlated with such variables as mean years of schooling, adult literacy, and gross enrollment rates, it was clearly established that absolute poverty declines as education increases.'"

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, by Nicholas D. Kristoff and Sheryl WuDunn

I read this book on the plan to and from Haiti. It's a hugely successful book, with a movie in the works, as well as an organization of the same name that exists to combat all the ills against women that this book talks about.

The stories in this book, from real women around the world, are sad, and compelling. It's crazy to think that in our day and age, this things are still happening to women...to people.

Similar to Freedom from Want, this book is full of great resources that I have yet to follow up on.

"'More weight is still given to the crime of stealing a thing than to the crime of stealing a person.'"
"...21% of Ghanian woman reported...that their sexual initiation was by rape; 17% of Nigerian women said that they had endured rape or attempted rape by the age of nineteen; and 21% of South African women reported that they had been raped by the age of fifteen."
"The United Nations Population Fund has estimated that there are 5,000 honor killings a year..."
"'It has probably become more dangerous to be a woman than a soldier in an armed conflict.'"
"In just the Congolese province of South Kivu, the UN estimates that there were twenty-seven thousand (27,000) sexual assaults in 2006."
"One of the great failings of the American education system, in our view, is that young people can graduate from university without any understanding of poverty at home or abroad."
"The equivalent of five jumbo jets' worth of women die in labor each day, but the issue is almost never covered...Some 99 percent of those deaths occur in poor countries."
"The World Bank estimated that for every one thousand girls who get one additional year of education, two fewer women will die in childbirth."
"'Women are not dying because of untreatable diseases. They are dying because societies have yet to make the decision that their lives are worth saving.'"
"Another study suggested that it would cost an additional $9 billion a year to provide all effective interventions for maternal and newborn health to 95% of the world's population...Suppose that the estimate of $9 billion per year is correct. It pales beside the $40 billion that the world spends annually on pet food..."
"To deny women is to deprive a country of labor and talent, but--even worse-- to undermine the drive to achievement of boys and men."
"If we believe firmly in certain values, such as the equality of all human beings regardless of color or gender, then we should not be afraid to stand up for them; it would be feckless to defer to slavery, torture, foot-binding, honor killings, or genital cutting just because we believe in respecting other faiths or cultures."

Poor Economics: A Radical Rethinking of the Way to Fight Global Poverty, by Abhijit V. Banerjee & Esther Duflo

I think this was the first book we read for our book club. Not as difficult for me to follow as The White Man's Burden, but it's up there. This book tackles many difficulties in getting people out of the "poverty trap," including global health, education, economics, etc. My favorite parts of this book were the parts that made me look at situations through a different lens. Why don't poor people save? Why don't they get medical insurance for when they get really sick? Why don't they go to a doctor instead of a local? Why do they have so many kids? Why don't they realize the value of an education?

I'm not gonna lie, I'm pooped. So if you're interested, I'll have to owe you my favorite quotes from this book.

Resolution Updates

2012-01-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

Today, I got up early to stand in line at the DMV by 7:30 a.m. No matter how early you think is early enough for this mission, it never is. There was already a line of about 12 people in front of me. It's ok though, I made it out by 8:30 a.m., license renewed, eye exam and photo taken. Not gonna lie, I was a little nervous about that eye exam...but they have really low standards, so I was fine (not sure how safe that makes me feel though).

Next up was the car dealership where I had to take my little car in to get an oil change (don't worry kids, I don't usually take it to the dealership, but I had a coupon...and it included a free car wash, which my car desperately needed). I was out of there by 9:30 a.m.

I got back home, and couldn't believe it wasn't even 10:00 a.m. yet. Dealt with some client issues, talked to opposing counsel and gave him a two week extension on his discovery, did final number crunching for Haiti Scholarships and sent out a check.

For lunch I ate the rest of the salad I had prepared the day before for--I hadn't put dressing on it, so it was still good. I added an avocado to it. Avocado makes everything better. Met up with Karin for lunch, got caught up and agreed to plan the Cinco de Mayo event for the HBA.

Which brings me to...my first resolution failure.

I didn't write this one down, but I did mention it to Jeff, so it's as good as if it was in writing: I told myself, and Jeff, that I would stop committing myself to new events for a while. But I got an email from Diana asking me to co-chair the HBA Program Committee...and I was honestly a little giddy about getting to help people plan their events (LAME, yes), that I said yes without even thinking about it. Oops.

I'm sure Jeff isn't surprised.

Anywho...

I snacked on milk and cherries--no cookies.

Took a bunch of stuff to storage that was crowding our room, and then I went to a local credit union to open up my business banking and IOLTA account. I think I've been putting this off for a while because it really makes things official...I now have checks and a card that say "Law Office of [insert my full name here--it makes for a very long firm name]" Crazy. But, it's done. So it must be really happening.

Jeff and I got home at about the same time, so I sent a couple emails real quick, and then we headed out for our walk/run. We jogged about a quarter of our mile, and walked the rest of it. We figure we'll slowly work this up to where we're running 3 miles. Jeff has been keeping track of our last 3 walks on an app he got for his iPhone, and it was pretty cool to see that we completed each of our walks about one minute faster each time. Not bad!

We had home-made chili for dinner last night. Maybe not the healthiest thing, but holy cow can Jeff's mom make delicious chili!

I was comatose after eating seconds, so the rest of my evening was spent on the couch...

"I have a complaint to file..."

2012-01-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

First of all, it's not what you think. I'm not suing anybody.

Second of all...you gotta understand...this household is big on coffee. No one really functions without it. Addiction? Most definitely.

And we've got our schedule all worked out. Dad leaves the keurig machine on the night before (I agree, these machines are insanely wasteful, and I feel guilty every time I use it) so he doesn't have to wait for it to "start up" in the morning when he's running out the door at 5am to make it to his carpool on time. And he leaves the coffee machine on for me.

Then I wake up to make Jeff's coffee before he has to go to work, then I make my coffee and go to the room to catch up on emails, facebook, twitter, and any other social network that exists, and then mom makes her coffee a little later. We're all pretty good about leaving things set and ready for the next person (this includes leaving the machine on, and refilling water if it's running low).

We switched keurig machines over the weekend, though...and Monday we all felt the effects.

I woke up earlier than usual because I had to observe an asylum merits hearing in downtown LA at 8:30 a.m., so I was a little sad when I got to the kitchen and saw that the coffee machine was off. I had to wait a whole TWO MINUTES for it to warm up before I could brew my cup of coffee and inject my body with some caffeine (is it my fault or our society that I'm used to instant gratification and can't wait two minutes for something? I'm disappointed in myself about this).

I thought it was weird that Dad didn't leave the coffee machine on....so later that evening I told Jeff that I had to file a formal complaint with Dad. I went in to the garage (the man cave) to file my complaint, only to find out that Dad had to file a similar complaint with Mom for turning it off the night before...only to find out that Jeff had to file a similar complaint with me for not leaving it on after I left...only to find out that Mom had to file a complaint with Jeff for not leaving it on.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a gloriously overlooked feature of our new keurig machine: auto shut off.

All complaints have been revoked.

Resolution Updates

2012-01-11T21:30:00.001-08:00

In the famous words of a local All Hands Volunteer, "today was a good day."

I was productive on my legal cases--called opposing counsel to follow up on some outstanding discovery, followed up with three different clients, fixed an order that was kicked back from the court, sent out an updated bill to a client, sent a letter of representation and answer to opposing counsel on another case, and made an appointment with my asylum client so I can start prepping him for his hearing.

I crunched numbers for Haiti Scholarships and our applicants, updated donor and student databases, transferred Paypal money to our bank account, and sent a couple follow up emails.

Sent out a couple more letters requesting silent auction donations for Corazon's Annual Meeting and Silent Auction fundraiser (join us!), followed up with some that I had already sent out, reviewed our silent auction google doc and agenda, and attended our planning committee meeting.

Sent out emails to the O'Neill park ranger and the Adopt-a-Park coordinator for our International Service Day event, followed up with two individuals who are helping us promote the event, contacted Ally and begged her to help us create a poster for the event (she said yes!!), typed up the minutes for yesterday's planning committee meeting and sent it out to the planning committee members.

Had lunch and caught up with Jen, which was fabulous.

Made a delicious and healthy salad for Jeff and I for lunch. I was on the verge of just going to buy something so I wouldn't have to spend time chopping everything, but I sucked it up and spent the 7 minutes or so that it took me to chop up all the goodies (cucumber, carrot, lettuce, bell pepper, and tossed some tomatoes and feta cheese).

AND, for the third time in less than a week, Jeff and I went on a little walk before dinner. We've walked about a mile each time, which isn't insane, but it's way better than not doing anything...right? We realized that there are some stairs at the park down the street, and we are going to start doing some stair duty...just going up and down the stairs. Our goal is to be able to run a 5k in April (interested?). We've both also been making a point of having healthier snacks. So, instead of my usual cookies and milk for my evening snack (um, yeah, I'm still 5 years old), I have a banana. I was on the verge of breaking today (I told Jeff I've been really good lately, so I deserved a cookie...he wasn't buying it), but Jeff pealed me an orange instead. I also bought grapes, strawberries and cherries. The strawberries looked beautiful, but tasted like...nothing. I should've known: they looked too perfect to have any real flavor. Oh well.

Oh, and completely unrelated to my resolutions, but entirely awesome, I got a shout-out on Kisa's blog!

Anyhow, if I can keep this momentum going, 2012 should be....one hectic and awesome year.

Harnessing the Full Potential of our Brain (not just that 10%)*

2012-01-06T18:21:00.000-08:00

Remember my post about googling your brain? Oh, you don't? No worries, here you go.

I had a similar thought the other night.

Here's what I do at night, when I first get in to bed. I close my eyes, and visualize all the emails I forgot to send or follow up on. "I need to email so-and-so back to confirm our lunch." "Shit, I forgot to email that lady back about whatever-it-is." So, in my head, I reply to these emails. What I mean is, I visualize what I will write them back tomorrow. Like, I literally "write" out what I have to email back. Crazy? Probably.

Anyhow. I was thinking, how cool would it be if I could hit "send"?! Like, from my brain. Then I wouldn't have to freak out in the morning and try to remember all those emails I wrote the night before.

I would love this idea, if it weren't for the fact that it would require some sort of chip implant in my brain (you know, because aside from that, it's totally possible). And I just can't handle that. Chip implants and robots are kind of my biggest nightmare. Honestly. Jeff knows that if he really wants to freak me out, he can mention the latest updates on robot technology. THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OVER THE HUMAN RACE ONE OF THESE DAYS. Mark my words.

So. I'll just keep being productive and writing emails in my brain. And then forget to actually write them in the morning.

*Disclaimer

2012: I'm mentally exhausted from planning you out already.

2012-01-02T09:02:00.001-08:00

One great thing about this blog is that I can look back at what I've written in the past: reading about resolutions I've made before, my little faith in them, and how I haven't followed through with them.

Regardless (irregardless, for some), it's still nice to set some goals for myself...I mean, even if I accomplish part of them, there's some success in that.

On our way home yesterday from celebrating the incoming New Year with my family, Jeff asked me what my resolutions where--and I'm just realizing now I never asked him what his were, #wifefail--and I had a difficult time putting what I feel my resolutions are, into words. I kind of want to work on everything this year, the whole mind, body, spirit thing.

I want to go back to my April-2011 resolution and focus on eating better, and being more active. We were good for a little bit, but we've really let it slide. It's so easy to let other things take priority in your life. I did get an online deal for yoga, so that should help me for the first month or so on the "active" part. As for eating, Jeff and I cook a lot less now that we live with his parents, so there's only so much control we have over that--but there's always room for improvement.

I also need to figure out where Jeff and I are going, career-wise and financially. Some pieces of the puzzle are starting to fall into place (like finally getting health insurance later this month!), and I really feel that this is the year we'll get things together. It's funny reading my post from January 2010, where I had the same concerns--and a little disheartening that I'm still trying to figure out the same things...2 years later. But I really do feel that I can accomplish a lot with my career this year.

One phrase that Jeff and I started saying like a mantra in early 2011 was that we had to "put ourselves in uncomfortable situations to experience new things." I feel I've done this a lot with my career, although altered a little bit: "putting myself in uncomfortable situations to get experience." Haha, it's been working though. I have said "yes" to things I would have been too afraid to say yes to before, and I think the outcome has been surprisingly reassuring. I've made appearances for immigration court in Los Angeles, I've taken on my own clients in an area of law that, at the time, I was largely unfamiliar with, I've learned how to retain clients, I started officiating weddings and make some money off of something I never thought of doing. Jeff has also done the same: he put his art in several venues this past year, and he started making money off of his photography skills, something that I know he was really uncomfortable with, but that he's truly great at. I know it took a lot of courage for him to do that, and I appreciate the hell out of him for putting himself out there.

All of these little steps have made us a little more comfortable, and just slightly more secure in our ability to pursue self-employment. Which leads us to.....

EUROPE!!

We've been wanting to go for a while. Jeff's brother and his brother's family recently moved back to Germany, so it's a great time to go, visit, and travel. Jeff and I also want to start thinking about expanding our own little family, but we think it's important to experience something like traveling through Europe before we do that. Neither one of us has ever been there, and it's been a while since we traveled together. Have I mentioned that we travel great together? I'm starting to get extremely excited about this, mainly because I think that for the first time since we've been together, it's actually financially feasible for us to do it. It'll take some intense savings for the next five months, but I think we can manage.

So, 2012, by the time you are gone, I'm hoping to:

Formalize and develop my firm
Develop Haiti Scholarships (this includes major fundraising efforts, and increasing our relationship with our students)
Work with Jeff to develop and market his art and photography
Keep working on promoting The Merry Ministers
Check everything off my "Epic To Do List"
Go to Europe
Get preggers!!

So yeah...2012 should be easy peasy!

Christmas Gifting: Receiving

2011-12-25T20:29:00.000-08:00

This Christmas was definitely the best in a long time. My top gifts (in no particular order):

31 Bits Necklace: Camellia in sky blue. It's beautiful!

TOMS shoes in red. I've been wanting these for FOREVER. I've been wearing them since I got them on Tuesday night...and would have worn them to bed if Jeff hadn't told me this was unacceptable behavior for a 28-year old.

an iPad!!!

Totally did not see this one coming.

Jeff figured it was a good investment for my business endeavors,

and I'd say...YES.

Played around with it all morning, and Jeff helped me decide on my next

DIY project:

an iPad cover :)

My mom was great and individually wrapped a bunch of gifts for Jeff and I (with the help of my cousins), including some truly awesome socks for Jeff--I'm not being facetious, Jeff LOVES cool socks and these are really cool--and some great ornaments for next years Christmas tree.

I can't thank everyone enough for making this year the best one we've had in a while, and not just because of the gifts, but because you are all amazing.

Love, love.

Christmas Gifting: Giving

2011-12-25T15:36:00.000-08:00

This year I thought I would try to be a more conscientious consumer. So instead of buying a bunch of products made in China, I decided to make them (with products that are probably made in China anyway...I tried).

So I decided to bake goodies for my aunts, uncles, and their families. I made magic cookie bars (minus the coconut--gross), oatmeal chocolate cookies, and I did a few of the jars with ingredients to make your own cookies (because the jars looked really cool, and minus the pecans, because they didn't fit!).

The cupcakes were my contribution for Christmas Eve dinner. I put all the baked goods in mason jars, then Sarah helped me decorate the mason jars with holiday fabric, twine, ribbon, shiny paper, and anything else we could get our hands on.

For the male cousins, I made them each a friendship bracelet with their favorite cousin (it was more of a token gift than a "real" gift...), and went to Powell's candy store and bought all sorts of goodies to put in their gift bags with their bracelets (I'm talking pop rocks, air heads, now & laters, etc.). For my cousin in Colorado I crocheted some fingerless gloves (I do see the irony in fingerless gloves for someone living in Colorado...but they still have to come in handy, right?), and for the rest of the girl cousins I made them some yarn bracelets using a broomstick stitch .

Although I love the idea of having spent time on each gift, I will admit it was crazy stressful (Jeff can tell you all about this), although this is mainly because I love to procrastinate. All in all, I'd say it was a great Christmas for hand made gifting :)

P.S.: How cool is this photo feature?? Completely unrelated, but check out this 4 in 1 picture of the ingredients we used to make our tamales for Christmas:

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Life Plan

2011-12-22T07:47:00.000-08:00

Something I've come to realize in this last year or so as I've just kind of been fumbling through life (career-wise, not personal--that side of my life is always awesome), is that I miss, maybe even need, a structured plan.

Elementary school is elementary school...you're worried about what your mom packed you for lunch, or whether the nuns are going to confiscate your scrunchie because it doesn't conform to the school colors of brown, green, black or white (oh wait, was that just me?).

Junior high you start thinking about what's gonna happen after...and you know you've got four years of high school before you really have to worry about anything else.

High school you start thinking ahead to college, but you have counselors and parents around you telling you what you need to do to get there. Take the SAT. Study and get good grades. You know how many credits you need to graduate, and what classes you need to take to graduate. You fill out college applications, send them out.

College is a more serious version of high school: you have to pick a major, but once you do that, it's all laid out before you: you need x units of general ed, x units towards your major, throw in a foreign language, make sure you get passing grades on all of them, and you're set.

I know, it's a simplistic view of our whole educational life, but bear with me.

I sometimes feel that one of the few reasons I went to law school was because I still needed this plan. I didn't really know what to do next...so I decided to get back into a system that planned things out for me. It planned my next three years. Granted, it got me into a huge financial debt, but I've talked about my woes regarding that already.

But after law school...I feel like I'm completely lost. There's no one telling me what credits I need to complete to move on to the next stage or chapter of my life. And it freaks me the fuck out (sorry mom).

Brookie and I talked about it this week, and it was refreshing to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this. Maybe that's why I finally sat down to share this on my blog, even though I've been meaning to write it for months.

Most people don't need this sort of "planning," and instead thrive on just taking care of things as they come along. I really wish I was more like that (another blog I've been meaning to write is how much I hate my type-A personality sometimes). But alas, I need a plan.

A light bulb went on this morning. I looked for an email my friend Sheena sent me eons ago, with an attachment entitled: "Visioning and Personal Action Plans." TA-DA! She's pretty much been telling me I should do this for over a year, and I kept putting it off. I think it's time.

So. Brookie and I have date: life planning.

Things I want/Music

2011-12-13T11:44:00.000-08:00

Interesting title combo, huh?

Well, I want this shirt:

Because this band is amazing. Jeff and I saw them live at a tiny venue next door to Downtown LA, called the Bootleg Theater. We went to go see Gaby Moreno, a guatemalan singer who also kicked ass that night. She was incredibly amazing, and incredibly sweet. Aaaaand, we totally got a picture with her!

She was followed by Jones Street Station, and they were joined on stage by a couple cast members from Community. It was pretty sweet.

And then....The Bright Light Social Hour went on stage. Holy shit. It's like 70's funk, rock and roll, and the blues had a threesome and popped out an amazing baby. I highly recommend seeing them LIVE if you get a chance. Their album is good, but the recording is almost too...clean. Might sounds weird, but if you compare their album to live stuff, you'll know what I mean. My favorites: Detroit (warning, it's SUPER addicting), and Bare Hands, Bare Feet.

So, do yourself a favor and check them out. And buy me the mustache shirt. And grow a crazy mustache like the lead singer.

Holiday Gift Guide, 2011

2011-12-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

I had grandiose plans since last year: compiling a massive gift guide the likes of which have never been seen before. But, 1) they pretty much already exist online (not exactly as I had envisioned it, but still, it's been done), and 2) December 2011 came around much quicker than December-2010-me imagined it would.

I also started to realize that a lot of people/organizations have similar gift guides, so I'm going to do a combination here...I'm going to re-post other people's guides that I find useful, and that list some of the organizations I already had in mind, and I'll post my "supplemental" gift guide with other ideas for you. I hope it's helpful :)

Rage Against the Minivan's Gift Guide includes:

Ever/After Clothing
Slow Color Scarves (I want!)
Krochet Kids (future Charity of the Month, for suresies)
31 Bits (I think you all know my obsession with them already)
Not For Sale
Haitian Creations (this blogger is a woman after my own heart)
Heart of Haiti at Macy's (beautiful home decor)
International Rescue Committee
Leakey Collection Jewelry
World Vision (HUGE gift catalog...from goats to wells to business loans)
Whipped body/hair butter (helping raise money for family's adoption)
Give Prints (looks pretty cool!)
Compassion International (draught survival kits, playgrounds, soccer balls, etc.)
Collaborative World (great clothing company--they actually have a gift guide below!)
Punjamies

Collaborative World's Gift Guide includes:

Chains for Chains
50 Back (it's a beer!)
Give Prints (link above)
One Hope Wine
Project 7
31 Bits (link above)
Unite Clothing

Nicholas Kristoff's Annual Column on "Gifts that Say You Care" includes:

International Rescue Committee (link above)
Care (help buy school uniforms for girls)
Heifer International (great org, prior Charity of the Month)
Mercy Corps (great user interface! let's you shop by picking who you're shopping for and/or what that person is interested in)
Helen Keller International
Against Malaria
Reading is Fundamental
The Citizens Foundation
GEMS

Yahoo Gifts that Give Back include:

Same Sky Bracelets
Dannijo jewelry
Jeans that help kids stay in school
RxArt coloring book
Tory Burch gives that give back

My "supplemental gift guide":

(um, I was hoping to link to it but it seems like this will have to do until I switch over to Wordpress and can actually upload PDF documents. sigh).

Holiday Gift Guide

Happy Shopping!

Vote for a Logo!

2011-12-03T14:05:00.001-08:00

So, one of the things that's been keeping me too busy to blog about all the things I want to blog about, is trying to market some new business opportunities for Jeff and myself. One of these, which I'm not sure if I've mentioned before (although I'm pretty sure I have), is The Merry Ministers. I've got a basic website set up, but I wanted a pretty cool logo, and my Rama is absolutely amazing that she sent me so many options that I can't chose. So I need your help. Which one do you like the most:

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Exhibit D:

Submit your vote in the comments section :)

Please and thank you!

Charity of the Month: Robin Cheney, aka, 3-day for the Cure

2011-11-14T17:35:00.000-08:00

"We walk because we must.

We are strong because the journey demands it.

Together in body and united in spirit we lay down our foot steps for this generation and the next. This is our promise, a world without breast cancer."

I've known Robin for as long as I've known her sister, and her sister and I are celebrating our ten year friendship anniversary this year (yep, the WHOLE YEAR). I think I donated to one of Robin's prior walks years ago (she started back in 2006), but I never really took the time to figure out what it was, other than insane MADNESS. Have you heard of the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure? It's three days. Of walking. 20 miles a day. That's 60 miles in three days. Like I said: insane madness.

Why would someone put themselves through that? Like most things in life, there are usually several reasons why we do things.

For Robin, one reason is that she wants to make a difference in the world. According to the numbers, breast cancer affects one in every eight women. The whole reason Robin first got involved with the 3-day Walk was because she saw a commercial for it, and was deeply moved by the stories of those affected, directly and indirectly, by breast cancer. If you think about it, you probably know someone that's been affected, or know someone that knows someone. Think, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but unfortunately you probably don't need six degrees of separation.

Another reason Robin does it is because it can be "the most positive three days of your life." By committing to this, Robin committed herself to push herself beyond her limits, both physically and mentally. Before her first walk, Robin was not a very active person, and the thought of walking more than from her car to a store seemed crazy to her! But along with a good friend she made the commitment, and put herself through streaneous training sessions, the first of which she quit after two miles. But she stuck to it, and she did again, and again.

What keeps her coming back?

"From the minute you wake up in the morning, perfect strangers are lining the streets cheering you on, sharing their stories and inspiration with you. There are people with t-shirts and signs that say 'Your efforts saved my life' -- and it is true, with the amount of money each event raises (my last San Diego event raised $14 million -- and the 3 Day is in 14 cities!), incredible strides are being made in detection and treatment. And, too, there are times in our lives where we are facing a seemingly insurmountable challenge and then I remind myself that I walked 20 miles a day for three solid days, something I never thought I could do -- three times now! I can certainly deal with the little curve balls life throws me."

Aside from the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of the 3-day walk, is the obvious financial one. One of the main reasons the walk exists is to raise money to help with research, development, awareness, and detection programs for breast cancer. Each participant pledges to raise $2,300.00. That's a lot of money. Especially in these economic times. Robin admits that this is the most challenging part of the 3-day walk: "it is never easy to ask people for money, even for such a worthy cause. It is even more difficult to have to ask a few times, or even to get a response."

I asked Robin why people should donate and help her reach her goal (she's got one week until her race, and needs to raise $1,203 to reach her goal of $2,300), and this was her response:

"I feel that people should donate to the Susan G. Komen foundation because the disease they are combatting is one that affects us all. I look around at the girls in my classroom and think 3 or 4 of them will have breast cancer if we don't find a way to cure, or at least diminish, the rate of this cancer. I have a student who lost her 32-year old aunt to breast cancer. I have a co-worker who lost BOTH parents to breast cancer. The youngest breast cancer survivor on my walk in '08 was only 11 years old. I would challenge anyone to stand in a room with eight women and find that none of them has been personally affected by this disease."

"I walk so that someday, no one has to."

So, can you help Robin?

Do you Flush for Onesies?

2011-11-11T11:31:00.000-08:00

Jeff and I visited some friends in Salt Lake City a few years ago, and our host forewarned us that she only flushed the toilet for number two's, so please excuse any pee that you might find upon entering the loo. Okaaaay. Seemed kinda weird, but she mentioned it was more of a water conservation thing than weirdness. I realized it totally made sense.

Let's drop some knowledge on toilets. Before 1994, most residential and commercial toilets used about 3.4 gallons of water per flush. Due to congressional policies, beginning in 1994 toilets began using only 1.6 gallons of water, and now high efficiency toilets use 1.3 gallons of water.

Did you know that 26.7% of your daily residential water use is from using the toilet? That's 26.7% of 350 gallons, the average daily household water use. Let's carry out the math...that's 93.45 gallons of water a day, on flushing your toilet. Think of how many times you flush the toilet just for number onesies. That's a shit-ton of water! (Disclaimer: I don't think "shit-ton" is an actual measurement of any kind. It'd be awesome if it was though).

Total prolonged sidebar: I was amazed when I was in Haiti how little water you really need to shower. I would fill up a 5 gallon bucket of water about 3/4 of the way for bad days, and maybe a little less for days I didn't feel as gross. It's totally enough. Think about how many 5 gallon buckets of water you could fill with the amount of water you use to shower. I tried visualizing it the other day and just gave up. One easy way to cut back is to use the Guatemalan water conservation method. In Guate, you don't have running water all day, so you store up your water in the morning, and use those water deposits throughout the rest of the day. When showering, most people turn off the water when they're soaping up so they don't waste that water, then turn it back on to rinse off. I'll confess that I don't do this: I like having hot water running the whole time...why would I turn it off and freeze while I soap up?! BUT, I should. And I will try to be better about it.

Back to pee.

In searching online, I agree with most people that flushing after a one or two is appropriate when you're at other people's homes (duh), if you have guests, and if you have small children or pets around that are likely to go digging in toilet water.

Aside from those specific concerns, I'd only be worried if it was unsanitary.

On the EPA website with tips for "How to Conserve Water and Use it Effectively," it states: "Toilets should be used only to carry away sanitary waste." The attorney in me would like a definition for "sanitary waste." Does it include urine? According to the Utah Water Quality website, "sanitary waste" is "liquid or solid wastes originating solely from humans and human activities..." Damn.

I searched various phrases relating to "urine" and "sanitation," but most of them involved drinking pee. That's definitely not my concern. One comment mentioned that urine takes 24 hours outside the body before it starts to grow anything. I don't think I go more than 24 hours without flushing our toilet. One comment I thought was pretty funny was someone concerned about the level of ammonia produced by urine, and how letting it sit in your bathroom will make it more difficult to breath (due to the increased levels of ammonia, duh). Maybe s/he has a really small, enclosed bathroom?

My take on this research: it's ok to not flush for onesies, just make sure you flush every now and then.

30 Before 30

2011-11-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

I recently saw a pretty cool blog idea where the writer wrote a list of things she wanted to accomplish, and then came back a year later and checked off which ones she had done, adding a link to her blog post of said activity. I thought I would do the same...and then I started thinking...it's already November...by next November, I'll be on the eve of my 30th birthday (by "eve," I mean about four months away...if you know my husband, ask him a funny story about this). I also saw a friend who did a "30 before 30" list: things she wanted to accomplish before turning 30 (am I insulting your intelligence? pretty self explanatory?) So, why not combine my list of things I want to accomplish with this little, minor, not-a-big deal birth year and make it into a 30 before 30? I found no good reason not to, so here we go. Let's see if I can find 30 things I want to do...

I want to:

First and foremost, I want to be settled into a job. No more uncertainty of what I'm doing...whether it's working somewhere, or working on my own, I want it to be legit, I want to be able to get pregnant if we decide we're ready, I want to have health insurance, I want to feel financially....hmmm....not-on-the-verge-of-being-broke? I know this is a lot for #1, but I think they all are part of one big package.
Travel. There are too many places I want to go to: Germany (Mike, Uli & Hank!), Spain (Isa!), Hawaii (again, self-explanatory, but I want to be consistent with the parenthesis), Guatemala (grandma), Haiti (self explanatory). I'm not expecting all of these to happen before I turn 30. I'd be happy with one or two.
Become serious about some sort of work out: whether it be walking/hiking, or picking up rock climbing again, which I miss doing.
Develop my blog. This includes moving to Wordpress, as well as figuring out how to make Adsense make me more money. I think since I started blogging two years ago (almost exactly!), I've made about $12 bucks. I'm not saying I'm not happy with my earnings...but I'm also not saying I wouldn't mind more. I just need to figure out how to do that without changing what I write about or plastering my blog with ads.
Develop Jeff's art: portfolio, more art shows, website, you name it.
Earn my blue shirt from Corazon
Make it to Arizona to visit Courtney (this I technically want to cross off my list early in the year)
Develop Haiti Scholarships into a successful nonprofit
Jump out of a plane
Go camping
Go wine tasting
Eat healthier, regularly
Travel to Portland or Seattle
Learn to say no, when necessary
Have a romantic getaway weekend with Jeff (we've been talking about going to Solvang for a while now)

Hmm. I'm about 15 accomplishments short of 30.

I guess I could fill it in with 15 things I want to have before I turn 30...but that's too materialistic to be a serious goal.

Suggestions?

DIY Craft Time, Part II

2011-11-08T14:06:00.000-08:00

The Gang went to a Halloween party, wherein we took advantage of a very cool photo booth. I realized that I haven't had printed pictures in quite a while, and these came out so cool, that I wanted to frame them. I did some research online, which made me realize they don't sell what I want, but gave me an idea on how to do it on my own.

So. Craft time!

One of my big flaws is that I lack a desire for perfection. So the edges could have been cut a little cleaner, and the fabric could have been pulled a little tighter...and I probably should have made it out of a sturdier material...(all of this is probably making Busta want to pull her hair out...I'M SORRY!). But, it made me realize that I can be crafty and creative if I want to be. And, occasionally, I can make some pretty cool looking stuff.

Long live Halloween, 2011.

DIY Craft Time, Part I

2011-11-08T13:59:00.000-08:00

Like most things I do, my new hobby became an obsession until I finished it on Sunday.

It's not perfect, and if you look at the corners you can definitely tell where I ran in to some trouble, but for my first attempt, I don't think it turned out too shabby!

I got the idea to keep the craftiness going by making my own wrapping paper. So, I went out and got some materials.

I tried to make free-hand circles out of the colored paper, and realized I have no talent for this. Fear not, I walked around Dad's garage and found a few useful items that I could trace.

Oh hey, what's that bottle at the front?

I'm not sure. The 30% and "rum" seem to be a pretty clear indication it's alcohol. But the panties down, naked lady alone thing makes me wonder if I'm wrong. Or really great/creepy marketing.

Anyhow, I digress.

The end result was this:

The gold ribbon on the wrapping was supposed to be the ribbon on the blanket, but it was way too rough for a little baby blanket. Apparently, they don't make gold-colored silk ribbon. Who knew.

As a side note: blogs in the future, including this one, will probably have too many unnecessary pictures (such as four pictures of the completed blankie), but Jeff and I both get a little carried away with testing out the new camera :)

October Charity of the Month: Taller San Jose

2011-11-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve driven by it dozens of times, either on my way to PLC when I volunteered there throughout law school, or now on sporadic trips to the Central Justice Center for court hearings. I had a vague idea about what they did, but based on the name alone I knew it had to be pretty awesome. I kept putting it off though, until they were featured by FLOC last month. I figured, it’s a sign! So, a day late, here's a little write up of what I found out.

In Spanish, a “taller” is a workshop, “a place to build and repair things.” And San Jose is Spanish for Saint Joseph, who’s the patron saint of workers.

Now that we’ve got the lingo down, let’s get down the business. What does Taller San Jose (“TSJ”) do? Simple: it walks young people in Orange County out of poverty. How do they do this? It’s actually not-so-simple.

In the words of TSJ’s Executive Director, Shawna Smith, one of the main jobs of the staff of TSJ is to fan what little hope these young individuals have when they walk through the lobby of the quaint Santa Ana location. In a short amount of time, these young individuals know that people care for them, that people mean it when they say “I care about you and your success,” that someone has their back. Many of these individuals come to TSJ with troubled pasts, difficult financial situations at home, and who knows what else. Letting them know that their goals are important, that they are a person with dignity, and that their life is important, is not easy. Most of us take these things for granted: I have a mother who made these things clear to me, and I grew up in an environment that led me to believe I could be anything I wanted to be. This is not the situation for many of the participants of the programs at TSJ.

“You mean I’m worth more than a minimum wage job? Woah.”

During my tour of their offsite facility where construction classes are held, I had an opportunity to hear from Scott, who has become a leader in his classroom, and has maintained perfect attendance throughout his program: “I feel like I can do something now, I can go out and get a job. If it wasn’t for this program, I’d probably still be doing drugs.” That’s an amazing and powerful statement for this organization, and only one of over 4,500 people that this organization has served since it opened its doors in 1995. I’m sure this is what Shawna noticed when she joined TSJ back in 1997, and her future career as a teacher went out the window: “I just felt called to serve.”

Back when Shawna first joined TSJ, it looked a little different than it does today. The program was centered around a high school completion program, with a carpentry program that taught students how to make benches, custom cabinetry and entertainment centers. Around 2005, TSJ realized there was a better way to help create long term success for it’s students: it began to emphasize more on job placement, and a little less on high school completion programs. Why? “For a young person who has an economic need, they don’t have four years to commit to just sitting in a high school classroom.” So they started to focus more on job training and job placement, while still helping their students complete high school if they hadn’t completed it yet.

This shift, however, had a huge impact on who they could serve: “Before, we had a much greater tolerance for serving kids without papers. When we switched to the workforce, we had to ask for papers. This was a huge ideological shift, one that we still struggle with: these kids look the same, they talk the same, they go to the same schools. But we can’t broker employment if we know they’re undocumented, and their opportunities for advancement [within our program] are so limited: we don’t want to set them up with unrealistic expectations, that just tears a person down.”

Although TSJ had to turn away some who are just as needy as others, it’s done a fantastic job of perfecting a program to ensure that those it does serve, are served well. For example, recognizing that most of their students can’t go to classes and miss an opportunity to earn money to cover expenses at home, TSJ students earn a $100 weekly stipend, and TSJ provides vouchers for transportation and child care.

TSJ operates through three different academies:

Medical Careers Academy: training for administrative office and entry-level clinical positions in healthcare

Office Careers Academy: training for administrative positions

Taller Tech Construction Academy: training for the construction industry

Of these, Shawna admits that the construction academy is usually the most appealing, or “sexy” to people; it’s harder to look at the office programs and realize what’s going on: there is a level of sophistication involved in a working environment and being in a professional setting.

Regardless of the Academy that each individual goes into, TSJ is doing much more than just providing an academic training. TSJ has set 7 goals for each student:

Obtain a GED or high school diploma
Master basic computer skills
Open and use a bank account
Obtain a driver’s license
Register to vote
Remain crime and drug free
Obtain a job at better than minimum wage

The last one is probably the most challenging in our economic times, and one that I found really interesting. There is a difference between a minimum wage, and a living wage. In California, the minimum wage is $8.00 an hour, but the living wage in Orange County is more like $16.00 (California Budget Project, 2010). I love that this program focuses not on the minimum allowed by regulations, but on the reality of the financial needs of individuals in the specific geographic location they live in.

Given the financial downturn, TSJ has made a few adjustments to help their students and alumni find and maintain jobs. For one, they have created jobs themselves through the Hope Builders program. For another, they are creating new programs in areas where there is a new need. For example, within the construction program TSJ has started to offer a 40 hour training on solar panels, recognizing a field that may have increased need in the future. Seeing growth in the medical industry, TSJ is also implementing new programs in the medical academy, such as billing and coding.

Another change has been to make the program more of a 2-year program than a 16-week program: rather than classes to provide a specific skill set in an area, TSJ offers courses on writing resumes, mock interviews, job coaching, personal development workshops on financial literacy, healthy relationships, etc. TSJ checks in with each student at specific intervals throughout the 2-year program, to make sure the student is still on track, and working towards completing the 7 goals listed above.

The hope is that these changes will allow their graduates to find a job, and help them keep it.

The results of TSJ’s holistic approach are pretty amazing. 70% of students remain employed one year after graduation. And, my favorite statistic, only 8% of students with a criminal background are re-arrested (meaning that 92% of students do not reoffend). In California, the rate of recidivism is around 70%. Pretty cool, right?

Shawna originally switched from the original non-profit she was working with to TSJ because she wanted to work in an organization that was effectuating change. Based on the programs she’s helped start, and the effect they’re having on the lives of hundreds of individuals, I’d say her and TSJ are doing pretty well!

Hopefully you’ve stuck around long enough to get to my favorite part: how you can get involved!

Volunteer to conduct mock interviews and job readiness preparation with TSJ students. Although they’d understandably prefer that you be employed if you want to volunteer in this area, you don’t need any particular education or experience to do this. As long as you can provide meaningful feedback to the students, you’re in! Come once a month, or once a year, it’s up to you.

Facilitate workshops for students: if you have experience regarding safety in the workplace, customer service, etc., come talk to TSJ students about it!

Join a committee! TSJ has committees for special events, program development, etc.

Financial donations, of course, are always welcome. Like any other non profit, although the work they do is incredible, it’s still a business that requires money to keep it going.

Tell others about TSJ. Shawna mentioned this has been the key to staying afloat since the inception of TSJ. Especially in Orange County, it’s easy for people to go to work, come home, park in the garage, turn on the TV, and never know about the level of financial need that people within Orange County have. So, go out there and tell them :)

An immense thank you shout out to Shawna, who dedicated more time than I’m sure she had available to entertain my questions, to Liana for coordinating my tour through their facilities and putting me in contact with Shawna, and to my tour guide, who provided so much helpful information.

New Hobby

2011-10-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

Row 3: Ch 3 (counts as first dc), turn;

2 dc in same st, skip next 2 dc, sc in next 5dc,

(5 dc in next sc, skip next 2 dc, sc in next dc)

across to last 3 sts, skip next 2 dc, 3 dc in last sc:

86 dc and 17 sc

Row 4: Ch 1, turn; sc in first dc

(5 dc in next sc, skip next 2 dc, sc in next dc) across:

85 dc and 18 sc

What does all of this mean?

It took me a while to figure out....but it leads to this:

The Day I got Two Letters

2011-10-20T21:49:00.001-07:00

Last week, an old college buddy invited me to participate as a speaker in a career fair at his school in downtown LA. I confessed to Jeff that this has been something of a bucket list item for me: I've always wanted to participate, or be asked to participate, in a career day at a school. I'm not sure why. Maybe it makes me feel better about spending so much time and money on my education. Maybe it helps my self-esteem a little bit. Whatever the reason, I obviously said yes.

So I went. I tried to find a balance between: follow your dreams, but don't be stupid about thinking you're going to become a millionaire just because you invest tons of money into a degree. If it's your dream, do it. If you just want to make money, think it through. I'm not sure how much of this made sense to them, or if they even cared, but at least it was good practice for my public speaking skills.

On her way out, one girl dropped a note on the table in front of me. It was folded in that way that you fold all notes that you pass in class in high school. The outside said:

"To: you

From: [her name]"

I liked the "you."

Then I opened it.

"Hey there well i don't know your name but it seems like you're

a good person. My point is if you can help us we've been here in CA for 12 or 11 years we are not citizens or nothing. Well to tell you a little background when i was 2 or 3 years old i came here illegally hope you don't take us back to Mexico. me and my dad and some friends were brought here first then they brought my mom. anyway can you help us fix our papers only me and my parents where born in Mex. My bros and sis were born here....Please help us I don't want this to affect me when i get to college :) please call. oh i'm a freshman

ABOUT ME!

well i like art. i want to have 2 jobs when i grow up

my dad never finds a job

my mom takes care of my bros

want to know more write back or you can come pull me out of clase! please"

My first reaction was, wow, someone is asking ME for help, and there's a possibility that I can help them. That's an amazing feeling.

But then I think more about it, and it makes me a little angry. It sucks that this freshman in high school is already worried about whether she'll be able to go to college or not, because her parents brought her here illegally when she was a baby. That sucks. That really sucks. And who should have to dream about having two jobs just to have stability?

I read it again later, and then realized she asked me to pull her out of class, and I had to laugh. So typical of being in high school: hey, here's this super serious issue I have, can I use it to ditch my next class? I'm not saying the only reason she wrote to me was to get out of class, but I think it's hilarious that she took the opportunity to try to get out of class :)

I haven't had a chance to call her yet, but I will. I'm thinking if her parents haven't fixed their situation yet, it's probably because they can't. But it's worth finding out if money is the only thing holding them back or not.

After that, I went to a book club meeting, and then I finally went home. And there I found these:

Along with my second letter of the day. It was a card from Jeff. The front says "incredible." The inside text says: "to listen deeply, love without limits, and live with intention. you inspire me to be more." Jeff added:

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart. I am sure all your hard work will pay off. Just keep being you. My caring, focused, over planning beautiful wife. No matter what any one else says, I know you will figure it out."

I'm not sure what I did to deserve him, but I'm so happy I have him in my life.

Days like that day, and words like those words, help me believe that my semi-unconventional path is a-ok.

Discussions on Development: Latinoamerica

2011-10-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

Calle 13: Latinoamerica

(radio transmission, indigenous language)

I am
I am what they left
I'm the leftovers of what was stolen.
A village hidden on the peak,
My skin is made of leather that's why it stands any weather.
I'm a factory of smoke,
A peasant work of art for your consumption
In the middle of summer, frente de frio en el medio del verano
Love in the Time of Cholera, my brother.
I am the one that is born and the day he dies
with the best sun sets
I am development in flesh and blood
a political discourse without saliva.
The most beautiful faces I've met,
I'm the photograph of a missing person.
I'm the blood inside your veins,
I'm a piece of land that is worth it.
I'm a basket with beans,
I'm Maradona against England scoring 2 goals.
I'm what that holds my flag,
the backbone of my planet, is my mountain range
I'm what that my father taught me,
Who doesn't love his country doesn't love his mother.
I'm Latin America, a people without legs but that walk

Listen

You can't buy the wind.
You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.
You can't buy the heat.
You can't buy the clouds.
You can't buy the colors.
You can't buy my happiness.
You can't buy my pains.

(repeated)

I have the lakes, I have the rivers.
I have my teeth for when I smile.
The snow that beautifies my mountains.
I have the sun that dries me and the rain that washes me
A desert intoxicated with peyote

A drink of pulque
To sing with the coyotes

All that I need.

I have my lungs breathing clear blue,
The height that suffocates
I'm the molars of my mouth chewing coca.
Autumn with its fainted leaves
The verses written under the starry night
A vineyard filled with grapes.
A sugar cane plantation under the Cuban sun. sun in cuba
I'm the Caribbean Sea that watches over the little houses,
Making rituals of holy water.
The wind that combs my hair
I'm all the saints that hang from my neck.
The juice of my struggle is not artificial,
Because the fertilizer of my land is natural.

You can't buy the wind.
You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.
You can't buy the heat.
You can't buy the clouds.
You can't buy the colors.
You can't buy my happiness.
You can't buy my pains.
(in purtuguese)
You can't buy the wind.
You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.
You can't buy the heat.
You can't buy the clouds.
You can't buy the colors.
You can't buy my happiness.
You can't buy my sadness.

You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.

we are walking

we are drawing the way

we are walking

You can't buy my life.
MY LAND IS NOT FOR SALE.

I work hard but with pride,
Here we share, what's mine is yours.
This town doesn't drown with big waves.
And if it collapses I will rebuild it.
I don't blink either when I see you
So that you remember my surname.
Operation Condor invading my nest.
I forgive but I'll never forget, listen

(we are walking)
Here we breath struggle
(we are walking)

I sing because you can hear it

we are drawing the way

Here we are on our feet

Long live Latin America.

You can't buy my life.

(most of the translation obtained here)

Music Corner: Random Songs

2011-10-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

Here are a few random songs I've enjoyed (not uber exciting discoveries, but I thought I'd pass them along anyway).

Fun: We are young.

I hated the actual video. So this had to do.

Washed Out.

Beatriz Luengo: Como tu no hay dos

Can I just say, I absolutely LOVE when musical instruments are used as props...ha.

Things I want: Shoes

2011-10-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

TOMS Classic Red.

Reef Guatemalan threads.

How I will get them: I plan on figuring out how to set up art shows for Jeff at the Santa Ana downtown art walk, and the LA art walk. Then he'll HAVE to buy them for me :)

Getting it Right

2011-10-07T16:53:00.000-07:00

These past two weeks have been pretty great. I've received some comments lately that have reinforced where I'm going with my life, and make me feel like I'm doing something right. Maybe not everything, but something.

Abby contacted me about looking for volunteer work for her daughter. I know, this isn't huge, and I'm sure she could have just looked something up online, but...she asked me. I was her go-to person, and I thought that was pretty fabulous.

A couple days after that, I got a message from someone I went to undergrad with. He's now doing some pretty great things, including working towards a Ph.D. He's part of an organization at his school that does some community service projects, and he messaged me asking about some of the organizations I have worked with. We still have to chat a little about what he needs/is looking for, but again...he thought about and contact me when needed to talk to someone about this.

Then, my friend Annie posted this on my wall (not the actual wall of my room...but you know...the cyber kind of wall):

"I was just thinking...Steve Jobs started Apple out in his garage and now, its this incredible company changing the lives of so many people in the world (not to mention, he was the CEO of Pixar, movies I love). If he can do it, I know you can too. Go make your dreams a reality, Alex! I am here every step of the way to support you! Love you!"

Seriously? Amazing.

Finally, yesterday after tutoring I stopped by my mom's house for a little visit. Her work has these jobs once a year where nonprofits and charitable organizations come out, and try to get you to donate a couple bucks from each of your paychecks to them. My mom picked up a book for me, as well as some other material from a nonprofit called "Zambia's Scholarship Fund." Inside the book was the business card for the President of the organization, and a handwritten dedication:

"Alexandra, thanks for your good works."

All of this has been almost surreal, to be quite honest. I feel really happy that when people want to participate in volunteer work or charity work, I'm the person that pops into their head. I guess part of it is because sometimes I feel guilty or silly about all the stuff I post on here and facebook about this kind of stuff...I feel like it may not really matter, or that no one really cares. Getting these messages from people, however, makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing.

I feel like I should add a disclaimer here. I'm not sharing these vignettes because I think they're right, or because I think I deserve it, but because it is really encouraging, and gives me hope that I'm on the right path. Sometimes I feel like I've let people down by not pursuing a traditional legal career, or any traditional career. Hearing these comments and getting these emails/messages from people helped me realize that I'll be okay no matter what. Regardless of what nonconventional path I follow, I have people who are interested in what I do, people who will support me and my endeavors, and people who appreciate the kind of work I hope to keep doing.

Thank you :)

Growth Spurts

2011-10-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

I had a 2-3 month hiatus from my tutoring family, from May to July-ish. Between my oddly hectic schedule, and them flying off the Spain and Ireland for the Summer, it was easier to just cancel things for a while.

As soon as they started school though, I got the text asking if I wanted to keep tutoring this year. HELLS TO THE YEAH. That was my response.

So a few weeks ago I drove to their house for the first time in what felt like ages. I was not ready for what was about to go down.

When the door opened, their youngest was there, and said (very clearly) "hello." "Oh, are you talking now?" "Yes." WTF?! How did this little boy go from being a tiny little baby, who was kinda stumbling around, to walking very steadily and blurting out full coherent lines, and understanding everything I said?

Then the second to youngest peeps his head from around the corner (he's always hiding from me...I haven't figured out why yet). It seems like he had a make over this Summer, and is sporting a completely new look. A look that makes him look like a little boy instead of a toddler.

I seriously felt like it had been at least a year since I'd seen them, based on their current appearance. I know...kids grow fast...but still...this felt insane.

The best part was when we sat at the dinner table. Remember how the second to youngest (I'm gonna have to come up with nicknames for them pretty soon..) used to say the prayer before dinner? It would kinda be semi-coherent, and the parents would help out. Well, he can say it perfectly clear now. And the youngest has taken his place: he now asks to say the blessing each time, and fumbles his way to the end. I felt a strange sense of deja-vu :)

I love seeing each of these children through their various phases of growing up. I really hope I can continue to be a part of this amazing family years after they no longer need a tutor.

Related posts:

Amen!

Kids make the world go round

Discussion on Development: I have never paid the full price for a cup of coffee

2011-10-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

Guest post by Mike Goldstein

Alex asked me to write a blog post about what to do in Haiti and that's turned out to be a really fucking complicated task. Haiti is such a persistent source of frustration, anxiety and astonishment to the world that Haiti is not just Haiti the place. We can't look at it that way anymore because it's clearly something more profound to us. It matters to us, it has its hooks in us. So I'm trying to go about exploring what Haiti is by starting with what it represents psychologically. That is, assuming we manifest this, what personal characteristic is dark enough to be Haiti, and what kind of person are we humans?

Well, I think it's this: I think we're an addict with a profound sense of guilt and also a profound morality. I think we're afraid of dealing with what's real, so we cope through addiction, which hurts us and others. Guilt is the pain that demands we reconcile our actions with our morality. And that's Haiti.

How does this translate. We are addicted to buying things for our comfort and security. But in our system, things need to be affordable. Though slavery was outlawed in the US, the exploitation didn't disappear - it had to go somewhere, so it went offshore to Haiti and other spots in the developing world. But it's the same concept: workers make less money than they're owed so that our products are affordable. Their muscles pay the difference, and we also draw against the land. It's the suffering of which we spare ourselves the sight. I've never paid the full price for a cup of coffee.

But we have a sense of this pain and we want to stop it because we're moral - though with one hand we buy the thing that requires their underpaid labor, with the other we try to help.

The best minds have attempted to cure this, but despite the world's well-wishes, prayers, money and work, Haiti is still slow to heal. It hints at a disconnect - if we keep doing what we're doing we will never reconcile our comfort with our morality. The story we normally tell ourselves about ourselves is incomplete because it doesn't include the damage that eventually comes of our addiction.

After traveling the world I've come to some conclusions, one of which is the following: It's a myth that the US has done something right and that Haiti has done something wrong. The comfort we experience is not the result of a superior system. In fact, our system is not our system, it's THE system, it's the global system. We sit at the top of a wheel and siphon wealth from the unlucky places at the bottom.

--

When I was younger it was easy to proclaim that we needed to crash the system because I knew that it would never happen so I could never be proven wrong. Pretty safe position to take. Now, though, I guess it feels a little closer at hand, intentional or not. So while I don't think the following can be prescribed, I present it as my vision of a healthy society and, therefore, the tack I've started taking with my own life (where applicable). My feeling is that we might as well adopt it sooner rather than later because it'll probably happen at some point anyway.

So, I imagine the alternative to material accumulation is a kind of mutualism, in which our actions, relationships and exchanges are mutually beneficial. Here's what a mutualist paradigm might suggest for Haiti and for the US:

1) An emphasis on wisdom in the education system, from the in-body perspective. For some weird reason we're building schools in Haiti and encouraging them to follow our lead. Our education system doesn't even work that great here. It trains people for uninspired careers in a global economy that's teetering.

- Both places should emphasize physical, emotional and spiritual health based on our relationship with the natural world. There should be a focus on nature and natural phenomena (how to slaughter a chicken, how to save seeds, how to hunt, how to make medicine, etc.) and it should be more guided than taught - let kids follow their interest. "In-body" means subjective experience. That is to say, we should give the in-body experience precedence over external authority. For example, science might tell Haitians that Voodoo doesn't exist. Fuck that.

- The value of the internet to the planet's shared wisdom can't be overstated. In Haiti, getting everyone access to the internet should be one of the top priorities. I feel the best thing we can do for Haiti is give them access to the accumulated global knowledge.

- Another idea would be to foster mentorship within a community (which is to say, education does not need to be confined to schools).

2) An emphasis on localizing economies, governments, families and food systems. This reflects a focus on the real (food, touch, etc) instead of the abstract (money, nationalism, etc). This is a matter of being sensitive within ourselves, our relationships and the place we live. With each layer of abstraction we remove, we remove a depth of exploitation. As our current political climate reveals, anybody can say anything. Words are a technology that can be used for good or bad, so any systemic narratives that don't place a person at the center of his or her world should be dissolved. In practice this means starting (and patronizing) small businesses, giving preference to community problem-solving, and transitioning to local food production.

3) An emphasis on earth systems, which means food forests (permaculture), stream reclamation, etc. It's urgent that Haiti build up its topsoil. This can be done by re-introducing native plants and trees that had lived in equilibrium (permaculture) for the millennia before the French started exploiting the land. Haiti needs trees before the oil runs out. If they can't establish a way to feed themselves by the time transport stops, they're going to be seriously fucked (as will many of us). Though this might seem unnecessarily apocalypse-minded, answer me these questions: how long does it take for a forest to grow back from nothing? How many more years can we count on cheap oil to transport food around the world? I don't know the answers, but at least I'm being alarmist. What this emphasis on earth systems means for the US is ripping up our shaved-vagina front lawns and putting in food plants, for gods' sake.

3a) Remove extraneous luxuries. Our western culture needs to engage with the life-death cycle (death being the reality we avoid through addiction). (I don't know about the Haitian relationship with death.) We've been convinced that death is a bad thing, and as long as that's the case we can be controlled by the threat of death. I think even those of us who think we are ok with death would discover the opposite if we inspected our actions (just as every single one of us agrees that money doesn't buy happiness, yet many of us continue to labor as if it does). As essential as it is that Haiti resoil its land, it's just as essential that we lower our expectations for comfort. There's not enough material on this earth for every person to live like a middle-class westerner. I just made that fact up, but I'll bet it's true. In practice this means seeing how it feels to remove extraneous luxuries. How low can you go?

4) Parent no more than one child! This one is mind-bogglingly simple to me, but there's such ego around it that it's taboo. How long would it take for us to halve the population? Fifty years? The strain on our planet is more a matter of quantity than quality. I see this issue as a relative of 3a - as afraid as we are of death, we are equally stubborn about our right to procreate prolifically. I'll bet this is always a linear relationship. In developing countries this probably means continuing to provide access to birth control and sex education, but shit, you know, how's that going? Again, this large-scale stuff can't be prescribed, so we just have to practice it ourselves and talk openly about it. For the US this means getting used to a lot more oral and anal sex.

5) Justice. I have no idea how to accomplish this one, but I think the biggest problem in Haiti is actually the lack of justice that puts people at the mercy of gangs and criminals. There's a combination of fear and loyalty that seems to stall the system. Loyalty is the opposite of justice - remember that, kids. I have no idea what the real-life prescription would be for Haiti, probably a focus on anti-corruption. In our justice system I'd start with reassessing the correlation between drugs and damage.

I know this has been a long-winded answer, but you gotta write something, right? So, in a nutshell, I don't think the Haitians will have a chance at large-scale, sustainable health until their strength comes from the inside and the world stops messing with it. There are dozens of NGOs doing good things on a small scale in Haiti. Unfortunately there are thousands of NGOs there right now. Maybe we should all take a break. Give Haiti two years without any internal NGOs (except maybe some internet installation and medical groups), then let them invite us back one-by-one according to what they determine their need to be. There would be chaos, but shit has to hit the fan sometime. I don't know if it's helping to give them just enough support to keep them alive.

(I feel like I should leave you with a light-hearted message.)

Ultimately, though, the work we're doing there is an ineffective bandage as long as we continue paying people to cut them.

(yikes, that didn't work.)
Some links you might enjoy!
Kurt Vonnegut on addiction and the system

Addiction explained

Video about fear of death

Food forest in Vietnam

A guide to safe anal sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A huge thanks to Mike for being the first guest blogger on the Discussion on Development section of this blog!

I love that Mike wrote about this, because I really hadn't thought about my impact when I buy stuff, and that's a damn shame. Shortly after Mike emailed me his first draft, I went to Target and bought a great little sweater, for $6.00. I was stoked on the price, obviously. But then I thought about what Mike wrote, and I thought to myself, "huh, how much did the person who made this actually get paid?" I mean, you've got over head costs you have to figure in to this six dollars: lease, electricity, shipping, customs, not to mention you're paying the people at Target who stock and run the cash register (to name but a few of the expenses). Now, I know these sweaters are a dime a dozen, so the cost spread out across thousands of sweaters is probably relatively low. But that means someone is probably working under intense pressure to make as many sweaters as they can to meet a quota or to earn enough money off of each sweater they make, so they can put food on the table. Food for thought.

A couple more links I find appropriate:

How Many Slaves Work for You?

TED Talk: How to Combat Modern Slavery

Little Updates: A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

2011-10-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

Well, we finished moving and are completely settled in to our new home with Jeff's parents. For any who were curious, it's going really well. His parents are wonderful and easy to live with. It was weird at first just getting used to having roommates again, so I can't make Jeff's coffee in my PJ's (underwear...), but all of that is pretty minor. We really like our new room; in fact, we kinda like it better than the room from our apartment! Jeff's mom let me have the desk they had in the living room, which is pretty amazing. It has little cubbies for all my office/work stuff, and a drawer with a filing cabinet (nerd), and it's pretty amazing.

I still haven't quite figured out my productivity schedule. I'm up by 7:30am, which is when I make coffee for Jeff, make sure he's out of bed and on his way to work. It's not that he asks for me to wake up and make his coffee, but I just wake up at that time anyway. I can't seem to sleep in past 7...ever (except for Sunday, but that's because I was up on Saturday at 3:40am, and was in 100 degree heat all day...), so might as well get up and be productive. Anyhow, I check emails and my reader, maybe listen to a webinar from CharityHowTo or the Foundation Center, pick up the room a little, and then I either procrastinate by working on random projects (like doing cross stitch on an old blanket that's falling apart), or I try to get some work done on my cases. I really need to get better on focusing on the latter.

It's been pretty amazing though, this whole, "working on my own" thing. I can meet clients whenever I want, I can work on their stuff whenever I want, I can have lunch with friends whenever I want, I can book myself for volunteer events whenever I want.

I did apply for a part-time volunteer coordinator position at a non-profit that is literally 1.5 miles from our house. It doesn't pay much, but it would be great to work in something that I really want to acquire some skills and experience in, and also have a steady paycheck while I wait for clients to pay me. The organization looks amazing, and one that I'd like to be involved in over the long-term if things work out, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We were finally able to buy Jeff the camera he's been wanting (Nikon D7000), and he got an amazing flash and lens for it (we had to return the lens because the automatic focus didn't work, hopefully we get a new one back soon). He's got two small weddings that he's already booked for this month, so we're hoping that will be an additional source of revenue for us. As for my wedding officiant business, I had one wedding last month in Spanish, and I've got two booked for this month. Our free Google advertising dried up, so I'm gonna have to invest some real money into our website if I want to keep getting leads. Seems like it's worth it so far.

So, between wedding ceremonies, legal cases, wedding photography, Jeff's steady work...I think we might be pulling it off finally. Which has me really worried. So far, our life has always been a bit of give and take: something great happens, then something else happens to even things out, and we land exactly where we were before that great thing happened. So here we are, not having to pay rent, with some steady and unsteady flows of income...to the point where we can save and invest in things...and I'm honestly nervous about what's around the corner. I feel like something has to happen to even things out again, there's too much good going on right now.

I hope I'm wrong. I really, really hope I'm wrong. Because seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is kinda nice.

Letter to Santa Claus, circa 1991

2011-09-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

So when I wrote that I didn't really have an issue with not having a dad, I must have been lying to my 8-year old self.

My mom recently found a letter I wrote to Santa Clause when I was 8. Warning: it starts funny, and then I make you feel like an a-hole for laughing at my letter. Ha.

I'm leaving in all original grammar mistakes, which are embarrassing, but really make the letter pretty amazing.

11-21-91 (Please pay attention to the date: as of 8-years of age, I was not yet a procrastinator)

Dear Santa I'v made a list of the things I want for Christmas. Ther are some big things I want. (I kinda love how I give Santa a heads up)

1. The icecream maker (not just any ice cream maker...THE ice cream maker)

2. A new bike. (I got the bike when I was in Guatemala...hilarious story to be told someday about how some drunkard tried to steal it from me)

3. Some papper (reguler with lines. Coler, tiping papper) (translation: paper, color, typing. Slightly pathetic)

4. A new book

5. The movie "home Alon (this one is crossed out. I must've realized I was asking for too much, and this is what I thought I could live without)

6. The book "Bingo"

7. A blak hat to go out (first of all, I couldn't spell black? REALLY?! Secondly, where exactly was I "going out" that I needed a hat?)

8. A cook book for kids

9. Monoply for kids

10. A new suite (I would reiterate my second comment from #7)

11. A diyerie with a lock (Diary. A diary. And a lock to make sure my mom stayed out of my shit)

12. Jinga (I think I still own my Jenga. It's currently in storage)

13. encyclopedia (1) how many 8-year old's ask for this? 2) I couldn't spell "black" or "diary," but I could spell encyclopedia. Interesting)

back ----> (Yes, I let Santa know there was more in the back of the page)

Baby (crossed out)

maybe (crossed out)

Maybe (with arrow pointing back up to the first line) if you can my dad

(you know, no big deal, but maybe, perhaps, if you have time, you could kidnap my dad and bring him to me)

Have a verey nice Christmas.

Love Alexandra Maria Hannson Beltran (I couldn't even spell my last name right)

My mom told me she felt guilty about never sending the letter out. All I have to say is, THAT'S WHY I NEVER GOT MY DAD FOR CHRISTMAS!

Charity of the Month: Lemonade International

2011-09-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

They decided to adopt. Then they decided to adopt from Guatemala. Then someone else decided they should actually go to Guatemala before they adopted a child from there: “You have to find ways to give back to a country that is going to be giving you the gift of a child.” It’s funny, isn’t it, how a simple nudge from someone else can completely change your life. Bill and Cherie did just that, and in 2004 they traveled to Guatemala, where they met Tita two nights before their flight back to the U.S. They had already spent eight days meeting people, places, and things. But they hadn’t met Tita yet, or La Limonada, or their future.

Tita turned out to be their inspiration: a woman who for five years had been singlehandedly working in one of the most dangerous and largest urban slums in Guatemala: providing care, comfort and food to the most vulnerable of the vulnerable. La Limonada is basically a settlement in a ravine, considered a Red Zone area because of how dangerous it is, and home to about 60,000-100,000 people. These people live in one of 10 different districts, each of which are ruled by rival gangs and invisible but life-threatening boundary lines.

What did Tita show Bill and Cherie on their last day in Guatemala? She showed them the shanties where families lived huddled together, she showed them families that dulled their hunger pain by sniffing glue, she told them about the sexual abuse that runs rampant in La Limonada, she told them about the gang violence and warfare that had her attending at least one funeral a week. But she also showed them the school she had started, she showed them the children she looked after, she told them about her plans for the future: how she wanted to be able to teach more kids, she wanted to reach out to gang members and show them a different way of life, she told them about wanting to start a vocational center for those gang members, she told them about wanting to send kids to school.

Seeing and hearing these stories changed their lives. As much heart and as many plans as Tita had at the time, she was overwhelmed by the amount of work and money that it took to do everything she was doing or wanted to do. Bill and Cherie saw the need and opportunity to step in and help, and they did. And you know what? They’ve pretty much made all of Tita’s plans a reality.

Bill and Cherie founded Lemonade International and started raising money for Tita and La Limonada, and Bill allowed me to ask him some questions about how all of this came about. Here’s what happened since they founded Lemonade International, as a volunteer side project:

Bill quit his day job working in HR
Escuelita Mandarin joined the already functioning Escuelita Limon; together they serve over 300 children, and employ more than 40 local Guatemalans (you can learn about sponsoring one of these children here)
A Safe Home was created for children who had been abandoned, abused, and/or neglected. Safe Home currently cares for 16 children (you can find out more about Safe Home here)
Scholarships were created to keep students in school that are beyond the teaching capacity of Escuelita Limon and Escuelita Mandarin (much like public education in Haiti, public education in Guatemala is not an option-kids need scholarships for private schools in order to obtain a decent education; you can find out more about providing scholarships here)
A micro-finance project was started that is helping women from La Limonada learn how to start and run their own business (more info here)
A vocational training program was started that teaches gang members skills they can apply in obtaining jobs around La Limonada, whether in construction, carpentry, or other areas (interesting tid bit about people from La Limonada who try to get jobs: if you put an address from La Limonada on a job application, you’re pretty much guaranteed to NOT get the job).

This is all just the beginning stages! Bill talked about their plans to buy a building that will house the vocational training program. The program is still in the initial stages, and often they don’t have the room or a safe location to consistently have their classes in. They are currently looking at a building that is located in between the two schools, they just have the difficult task of raising the funds to purchase it. Ideally, this building will house training classes for sewing, carpentry, masonry, electrician training, etc.

Of course, these accomplishments and goals for the future are no easy feat to come by: Lemonade International is working in a country with difficult and straining conditions, among a dangerous population, and with the mentality of wanting to establish something that is not dependent on U.S. donors, but self-sustaining.

Sustainability. I love that word. One of the goals for the vocational center is that it will create businesses, like bakeries and carpentry shops, that will help maintain some of the other programs. The are trying to get this sustainability started by looking for a local Community Development Director: someone who will oversee all the programs in Guatemala, and to focus on the sustainability and long term plans of current projects.

This brought us to something else Bill thinks is important for the future of Lemonade International: engaging local people in Guatemala to support the work of La Limonada, to inspire them to care about their own country. We had an interesting conversation about classism in Guatemala: there is still a great divide between people of different socio-economic levels, not to mention indigenous mayans vs. ladino's. It would be great if instead of having people from the U.S. going to Guatemala to lead these programs, you have Guatemalan’s caring about each other across these socio-economic divides, and leading these programs.

Bill recognizes that something like this will take time, and is steering clear of setting himself up for an “unrealistic disappointment.” He knows sustainability is something that will take time, and until then, raising support in the U.S. to help kids go to school, which may not be sustainable, is better than doing nothing.

Through it all, what keeps Bill and those around him going is seeing the smiles on children’s faces, smiles that weren’t there years before, children that walk with their heads held a little higher than they used to. What else keeps Bill going? His vision for the future of La Limonada:

I want to stand on the bridge overlooking La Limonada, and see people walking around confident in themselves and knowing their self worth, see people who know they can achieve things, that they are part of a community where good things are happening, a community with art, and music. I want to see houses painted with bright Guatemalan colors, and flower boxes hanging under windows. I want to see the hustle and bustle of business: tortillas being delivered, schools in session, festivals and parades. All of this, with no concern for violence.

Cristina and the Barreda syndrome

2011-09-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

I apologize if my repeated posts about this woman are boring or uninteresting to some, but I truly believe that her story is worth writing about, or in my case, translating about. I think this case has brought Guatemala to a crossroad, and there are some exceptional women in that country who are trying to make sure they make the right turn, by not keeping silent. There are a couple blogs from the original writer who brought us this story that I have been wanting to translate, but they take more time in skill due to her exceptional writing, so they will come with time. But today, I came across the following opinion piece, and felt is was worth translating and sharing. The subject is something that I've wanted to blog about for over a year, and I just haven't made the time to do so: why are women in our culture (by "our" I mean Hispanic) so frequently victims of domestic violence? And why do they remain in relationships marred by domestic violence? As a volunteer with several legal nonprofits, I have worked with women who were victims of domestic violence in order to help them apply for immigration relief (through VAWA and U-Visa petitions), and the degree and frequency of violence that so many of these women put up with has always scared me. Alas, I should save my "opinion" piece for my own blog entry...

The Robert Barreda Syndrome

(As published on September 22, 2011, in El Periodico)

In Guatemala, things have to change and the aggressors have to know that their only place is in jail.

Sylvia Gereda Valenzuela

Since 2001 I have worked and investigated the subject of femicide and aggression against women in Guatemala. I find it interesting that we have such an aggressive male population, that has caused more than 6 thousand women to die in the most cruel ways: tortured, severed in their private parts, raped, and mutilated.

In those days, Ciudad Juarez was a site of murders that moved the world. Ten years later, Guatemala left Mexico behind.

I got to know the case of Mindi Rodas, the woman who’s husband ripped off her face, nose and mouth with a knife and after a long battle for justice was murdered.

I got to know the case of Claudina Vasquez, a young woman who was going to be an attorney, that was first raped and then put on her knees to die with a bullet to the temple.

Towards the middle of this decade, while I was going through my masters in sociology, I completed a thesis about femicides in Guatemala, and then I had to course through the morgues, see puddles of blood that wet my shoes, the bodies of dozens of women that arrived cut in pieces and their faces bruised. That year, when I started my television project of Informe Especial (Special Report) on Canal Antigua, I decided to go back and check the pulse of this silent drama. I didn’t even have to take a step to realize that the problem had surpassed us.

In July I started to investigate the disappearance and murder of Cristina Siekavizza, where the principal suspect is her husband Roberto Barreda. A story already known by everyone, but where the aggregate of influence peddling, abuse of power by Barreda’s parents, Beatriz De Leon and Roberto Barreda, has been an important factor in keeping this case without any punishment and allowing the two minors to disappear along with their psychopath father, according to those who have declared to know the case: the judge Veronica Galicia and Norma Cruz.

I have found myself with more than three dozen messages and letters from women commenting that the story of Cristina has made them understand the dangerous drama in which they are submerged. Many, for the first time, seeing the criminal extremes that Barreda allegedly reached, are daring to break the cycle of violence and raise their voice.

“My sister that was married for 33 years with a psychopath, controlling and feticidal that followed her with a gun, hit her, etcetera. Today she has separated from him and she is getting fucked over. He left her in the street, even though he has millions in accounts in the United States and he uses his best friend as a figurehead. She gave him her whole life, since she was 19, she never finished her career nor did she ever work. He told her that he was never going to giver her anything, over his dead body.”

“He would get home late, drunk, aggressive, he would smack me around.”

“He left with some girl that was 20 years younger than him, got her pregnant. When I confronted him about it he grabbed me and hit me, he slapped me and insulted me.”

“I knew that he lived in bars and whore houses. On three opportunities he transmitted venereal diseases to me. He would threaten me that if I left him he would leave me in the street and ruin me forever, I have never worked.”

Norma Cruz, president of the Fundacion Sobrevivientes (Survivors Foundation), told me on one occasion that Guatemalan woman has started to talk about what she called the “Barreda Syndome,” many of the attacked women are seeing in Roberto Barreda, a man that appeared to not be aggressive but that was a despot at home, their own husbands. En the case of Barreda, nobody saw the alleged murderer of his spouse coming. But when everyone reacted, Cristina had ceased to exist and her children had disappeared.

I have always believed that we all came into this world with a mission, that no life is in vain, just like no death is in vain. Cristina has moved more hearts and sentiments with her death than she did with her life, this is a sign that her spirit continues still today and it can be the point of inspiration so that many women who have been attacked start to talk and ask for help from prosecutors, support groups, or organizations in defense of women.

For my part, these stories of terror that have hit so many guatemalan women hurt me to my core, and they motivate me to commit myself with what I will soon start as a new life project, to save thousands of women, teenagers, and girls who are victims of violence. If I can be sure of something, it’s that today, more than ever, I will not lower my voice and I ask the women that they don’t either. In Guatemala, things have to change, and the aggressors have to know that their only place is in jail.

The Difference

2011-09-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

I translated a blog from a friend in Guatemala back in July, it was her battle cry for justice in a country that seems to spin further and further out of control. That specific blog was prompted by the disappearance of an old classmate's sister: a wife and mother of two children. Since her disappearance, classmate's have banded together, and have refused to let Cristina be forgotten as just another disappearance, or simply another statistic. Since her disappearance, events have continued to unfold, and evidence indicates that the night before her disappearance, her and her husband got into a serious argument, after which she ran out to the balcony of her home and screamed for help. No one did anything. Although her body has not been found, it seems the husband used the family car to dispose of her body, and disappeared with the children days later.

They have not found the father, or the children, and the plot is more convoluted than a simple disappearance (the father's parents are politicians, I think his mom may be a judge, so there are beliefs that the initial investigations and judicial proceedings were hindered by his parents and their connections), but the light at the end of the tunnel is that people have not stopped demanding justice.

Some people have criticized the attention this case has received, stating that the only reason it's getting as much attention as it has is because she was of a member of the higher social levels in Guatemala. It's true that Cristina is only one of so many countless cases of victims of violence in Guatemala, but herein lies the difference: Cristina has friends who are not willing to give up. So many cases in Guatemala go unresolved, and those involved learn to simply move on with their lives: injustice is seen as something people just have to put up with...what else can they do? Seeking justice is seen as a waste of time, and so people remain disappeared, while those responsible are never even looked for.

But not Cristina. Cristina went to a school that has a strong alumnus, and that is being demonstrated today. Some of the women organizing walks, demonstrations, and creating Facebook pages, are women who may not have known her very well, but they went to school with her sister, and that is all they need to know: one of their own is in need of their voice and their support. I find this truly admirable. These women are demanding that their voices be heard, that the search for the man responsible for this crime be found, and be held accountable. It doesn't seem like too much to ask, but in a country like Guatemala, it's a feat to be able to carry on this kind of momentum a month after the initial disappearance. They were able to amass enough support to get news of her disappearance on national and international news channels, and Interpol has published information regarding the identity of the husband:

Instead of arguing classism or social divide, people should stand by this movement, and be happy that finally someone had the balls to demand justice. It's more than many have ever done. The difference is not that Cristina was part of a more privileged society, it's that she knew people who cared enough and were able to not give up. I applaud their dedication, and for the sake of a country who needs more people like them, willing to stand up to corruption and impunity, I hope many more will join them.

Soundtrack Lookout: Drive

2011-09-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

I saw this:

And I really liked this:

The movie was great also. I'd write more, but it's time for milk and cookies (for reals).

Happy weekend.

Introducing: Discussions on Development

2011-09-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

I had an idea.

Since Jeff and I met, we'd have these serious conversations about Guatemala, the impunity and corruption there, and we'd try to figure out the answers to "why?," and then the larger question of "what would change things?" I think these are some of my most favorite conversations with Jeff: we get super academic and talk about things that might be slightly out of our league :)

These questions followed me back from Haiti, and some of the best conversations I had with people there involved the same questions I mentioned above. My initial idea was to simply write one blog about my thoughts, the issues I see, and possible solutions (according to the not-all-knowing me), and leave it at that. But then I thought it would be cool to take it one step further. So here's my idea: have people who are similarly interested in answering the same questions do guest posts, where they can analyze the "how's" and "why's," in whatever context they find appropriate. For example, I asked Haiti Scholarships co-founder Jim, and he'll probably take on a more financial argument, being that he's a finance professor and all (and was that a shameless plug for Haiti Scholarships? Yep. Did I post the same link three times? Yes).

My disclaimers: I'm not claiming we have the solutions. Heck, people have been debating these answers for decades before I even came across them. My goal in getting different people to post their thoughts is simply to gain a little more insight about something I'm passionate about, and maybe open discussion about these same ideas. Unlike this guy, I don't really know what I'm doing. Also, I'm not big on censorship of ideas, so I will allow people to write about whatever they want, but I take no responsibility for their thoughts or opinions!

Finally, if you have any interest in submitting a guest post, do let me know :)

Our Plans were Foiled!

2011-09-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

Well, you know those big plans we had for the phone book? They were RUINED.

I went to the apartment on Monday to do some cleaning, and after I climbed the stairs I found myself with this:

Seriously. Maybe they read my blog? Anyhow, I was extremely disappointed in their sudden decision to clean up their act. Now Jeff and I will never have a chance to carry out our plans. Which looked something like this:

Jeff's plan: Prop the phone book against their door (again), with a sign that reads something to the effect of: "Hi, I'm your phone book. Why don't you love me? Why won't you bring me into your home?" Or something like that (right boo?).

My plan: Throw it away. Leave a sign on their doorstep that reads: "You're welcome."

But now...neither one of these will ever happen. Shame on you, belatedly responsible neighbor.

Packing Day, Lost Count

2011-09-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

It's been roughly two weeks of slowly packing and moving everything out of our place. Yesterday we moved the essentials into the new place, and the only things left in the old place are a couple loads of clean laundry and Jeff's paintings. Not too shabby.

Here was my greatest moving accomplishment this week:

I mentioned before our obsession with moving things in one trip. And even though this was during the week, so I was moving stuff alone while Jeff was working, this was no exception. So, those two loaded carts up there? Yep, I packed up the truck with all of that, and somehow, precariously loaded them up to these two carts, pushed both of them onto the elevator, and into storage, IN ONE TRIP. Two golf club bags, two bikes, two dinning room chairs, a box, a sleeping bag, and some miscellaneous stuff. I won't say I didn't have technical difficulties in getting it done, but I did it.

This is what our storage unit currently looks like:

Crazy that our whole lives are packed into a 10 x 10 storage unit.

Finally, let me introduce you to our soon to be ex-neighbors phone book:

It's been there for over a month (dare I say more than two?). We pass by it everyday. She passes by it everyday. We even propped it up against her door one day, thinking she'd get the clue that she should pick it up, and nothing. So. We have some ideas. Stay tuned.

What I Learned Today

2011-09-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

Today I learned where the family law filing windows are located at the
Central Justice Center.

I also learned that said windows are closed from 11 am to 1 pm.

Oh well. I'm off to see if I can catch the tail end of the Irvine
Farmer's Market. Fingers crossed.

Packing, Day 2 and 1/2

2011-09-05T23:28:00.000-07:00

Well, all in all I think we made some good progress. Took a load to storage yesterday before the BBQ, and I worked on the closet pretty much all day today (aside from going to say goodbye to Uli and Hank for a couple hours). I feel like there are still a TON of odds and ends around the apartment, but I think we'll be ok.

A couple things that made me really happy this weekend:

1) Jeff and I are great teammates. Nothing I didn't know before, but it's always nice to be working with someone you work so well with. No arguments about what is going where, how things should be done, pack this there, no over there, but I want it over here...we kind of work like a well oiled machine. We're one step ahead of each other...always in a good way. And I can always count on Jeff to come up with some pretty brilliant ideas (I actually had a "Jeff moment" myself today when I came up with a pretty MacGyver move for packing my earrings...suffice it to say it was pure genius), like this one:

You might ask yourself...what is that? Well, Jeff was in charge of wrapping up our dinning room chairs so they sustain minor damage during transport and storage...and after the second one he was getting a little dizzy going around them with plastic wrap. So he asked me, "do we have anything like a Lazy Susan?" Thankfully, in the last five years, someone had explained to me what this was, so I was able to confidently tell him we didn't. It didn't matter...he found a plastic-organizer-drawer I had just emptied out that had wheels on it. So, while I turned the chair, he plastic wrapped it. No dizziness. Just some good teamwork :)

2) Second, we're amazing at packing stuff onto moving carts! The last time we went to storage, there were no carts available, so we carried stuff on our desk chair and just on our own...then a second trip with random stuff, and by the third trip we had finally obtained ownership of a moving cart. So...three trips up and down the elevator. On our way home, Jeff mentioned that we could have made it in one trip if we had the moving cart the whole time...I was incredulous...but then today, we carried a truck FULL of stuff in one trip. It was pretty amazing. Two carts, plus the purple rolly cart thingy pictured above, which we filled and stacked with other stuff. Not gonna lie...it was pretty amazing stacking!

Not so amazing: coming home and realizing the smell of your apartment is gone (you know what I'm talking about...every house has it's own unique smell...and I miss mine), it now smells like cardboard boxes. Le sigh.

One week from tomorrow will be our last TVN, and a week from Wednesday, we'll be turning in our keys...

Packing, Day 1

2011-09-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Well, we've been packing small stuff over the last week, but yesterday was the first day that we REALLY packed. I mean, all day. I guess technically we started a little late, since we both have to do our usual online reading (reddit for Jeff, google reader for me), but once we drank our coffee and got our reading done, we meant business.

I worked on the kitchen all day...Jeff took care of clearing the entertainment center and desk area.

Jeff moved the red couch out of the way to free up some space

If we hadn't had a desk, we both really like this set up. It opens up the living room so much!

After a full day of work, we ended up with a mostly empty kitchen (I left out the coffee pot, toaster, a pot, pan, a couple bowls, and utensils. And coffee mugs, duh), and a heartbreakingly empty living room.

It's been slightly emotional. We keep telling ourselves it's just an apartment, and we'll have a new place eventually that we'll grow to love as much as this one. But it's hard to process for now. This little apartment has been so great for us, beyond perfect, and we've shared so many moments with each other and our friends: it's seen three (or two?) annual Gingerbread House parties, the first Friendsgiving, countless TVN's, spa nights, pool days, not to mention our own movie nights and coffee and lunch's on the balcony.

We are definitely thankful that our first place provided us with so much happiness and so many great memories!

We're taking a break from packing today, so we can have a little Farewell BBQ for Uli and Hank (I keep denying that they're leaving in a day...I think denial works better than realizing...well, never mind, I'm already getting choked up), but Jeff is off on Monday, so hopefully we can pack up most of our room and get rid of that futon!

Random Thoughts

2011-09-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that I've been doing a little legal work on my own: I picked up a couple family law cases, there's a bankruptcy case on the horizon, and I'm working with a nonprofit (other than Haiti Scholarships) to put together their incorporation and tax exemption paperwork.

I never thought I'd want to really go out on my own; there are so many things to worry about: office space, getting a fax, malpractice insurance, health insurance, guidance, support, expensive reference materials, other overhead costs, etc. I kinda wanted to work for a nonprofit that could really take care of all of this stuff, but alas, I think it's time for me to strike out on my own.

Which is actually turning out quite nice. We're moving in with Jeff's parents in a week, which means I don't have to stress about making x amount of dollars a month to cover rent. I can take my time in developing my marketing and figuring out what the hell I'm doing.

This brings me to: I need to get my shit together. The problem when I don't have a job is that I have too much free time. And I'm a procrastinator. I work better under pressure. Which doesn't happen when I'm my own boss. So. Things get pushed back. Finding something to watch on Netflix or Hulu takes precedence over researching a good online fax provider. Or health insurance. Or finishing those documents I could file today.

So here's what I need: I need to make a schedule for myself, and stick to it. Even though I don't have an "office," I need to set a few hours every day where I make myself sit at my desk, and get work done. It doesn't matter if the dishes aren't washed, or if laundry needs to be folded, office hours are office hours.

Ideally, my day would start with some exercise, but let's be honest about that one...

But after that, I'm trying to figure out what my most productive time would be: should office hours be in the morning, and then I can spend the afternoon taking care of the random projects I like to do? Or should I do that stuff in the morning, and then after lunch have my office hours?

Maybe once we're settled into our new place I'll try out both schedules, and see which one works better.

On a completely separate note, and maybe I mentioned this before, I'm thinking of switching this blog over to wordpress. Any thoughts? Feels like a huge change; I think it might work better...I can have different categories, pages, etc. Maybe I'll become one of those bloggers who makes tons of money and just stays at home and writes about random stuff (wouldn't that be awesome?!)....ha!

My Day

2011-09-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of the week, I really liked the idea that I had nothing on my calendar for Thursday, although I know myself better than to think it'll remain that way (I have been told more than once this week that I'm the busiest unemployed person they know, haha).

So, here's where I was today:

Irvine: my apartment, packed up a few boxes, went through stuff in the garage. And drank my coffee, obvies.
Lake Forest: waited around for an empty cart, dropped said packed boxes off at the storage place.
Ladera Ranch: went to Brookie's store to pick up some boxes she had saved for us (thanks, Brookie!).
Aliso Viejo: dropped off a table at my mom's house, and hung out for her a little during her lunch hour.
Laguna Hills: checked the PO box. Junk mail.
Irvine: home for lunch, prepared my first client bill!
Santa Ana: meeting with client's father.
Other part of Irvine: exchanged iced coffee for a donation from the wonderful Ms. Katie, AND got to catch up a little :)
Irvine: deposited check, went to store to buy dinner, home to make lasagna (would you believe me if I said I made it from scratch? Who am I kidding, only Isabel can do that...).

I really wanted to add Costa Mesa to my list of cities visited today: 1) I wanted to go to bikram since I missed my class last night, and 2) I wanted to check out the unveiling of 31 Bits' new Fall line. But alas, staying home after all that driving was high on my priority list.

All in all, a pretty productive day!

Music Corner: Kimbra

2011-08-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

Kimbra was in the last music corner, as a featured artist, but after exploring some of her own stuff, my husband and I think she deserves her very own Music Corner post.

My favorite:

Imagine a one-and-a-half year old sitting on Uncle Jeff's lap and shaking his shoulders to this video. It's as adorable as it sounds.

The next one is a little slower, but her voice is simply amazing (especially towards the end):

And she's freaking adorable!

And so it begins...

2011-08-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

The first boxes into our storage unit.

Mostly books.

I feel like a bad mother leaving them in there.

I rationalize it by telling myself that they'll be unpacked into a better home someday.

Until then, at least they've got climate control!

I survived.

2011-08-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a generous friend who purchased a good deal on Groupon (for two), I went to my first Bikram Yoga class yesterday. Some of my thoughts:

I think what people should be warned about, more so than the heat, is the stench of feet that assaults you when you walk into the room. Feet, and bleached towels.
I sweat more than I thought possible, and I'm pretty sure I said that after rubbling in Haiti. The difference is that this heat has no redeeming qualities: no cool breeze, no Prestige, no amazing conversations.
I didn't know one person, alone in their car, could fog up all the windows. Now I know better.
A change of clothes is a must. I'm pretty sure my car still reeks from the pool of sweat I left on my seat and seatbelt on the drive home.
What sounds like a leaky faucet is actually men who are sweating more than I am, and standing in a pool of their sweat, literally.
I've missed Machu Picchu legs. What are Machu Picchu legs, you ask? That's when you've been climbing up tiny ruin steps all day, and then when it's time go down down those same steps, your legs are so exhausted that they shake with every step. They're awesome.

It's definitely a challenging workout, but I do feel great today, and we're going back on Friday. Hopefully this time I'll be a little more adjusted to the heat and won't have to sit down so much to avoid passing out...

Random Updates...

2011-08-22T20:38:00.000-07:00

I've been going to the gym! Well, to be honest last week I failed, but the two weeks before that I was a frequent visitor, and I went today. I do have a confession: today was the first time there was no one else there (it's the small gym from my apartment complex), so when the below song came on my Pandora...I actually did a little dancing on the elliptical. It was very niiiice.

(In asking Jeff for help in finding this video, he just shared with me how him and Pat used to cruise around bumping their Pure Funk CD. I love him.)

Anyhow, not sure if I mentioned that we put in our 30-day notice at our apartment complex. We did. Sigh. We're really gonna miss this place. I stopped by the leasing office today to pick up some move out paperwork, and they kindly informed me that no matter how clean we leave this place, they're still gonna rape us for all that our deposit is worth, and more. Uuuuuggghhhh.

So, in preparation for this monumental move, we started packing today. We decided to start with the stuff that's easy to pack: DVD's and books (I'm terrified of packing up the kitchen. Uuuuuggghhhh x2). In packing up the books I came across the one item I've ever stolen [from a store], in my life. I was about six or seven. I have a super clear picture of the parking lot, and the check out stand, but for the life of me I can't remember what store it was. What I do remember is that by the check out stand there was something I really wanted, and my mom said "No" when I asked her to buy it for me. It was like a buck fifty, and I was a little pissed she wouldn't spend a buck fifty on me (as in $1.50, not $150.00).

My mom and the register lady started chatting it up, which I took as a distraction mechanism. I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I grabbed what I wanted and hid it in my sweater. We then walked out of the store and into my mom's Mitsubishi, which was sweltering. "Why don't you take off your sweater? It's hot in here." I tried to make up some excuse, but the heat was undeniable, and mother knows best. It probably didn't help that I must've had the most guilty expression on my face ever.

So, she made me take off my sweater...and that thing I had just stolen slipped out. Needless to say, she wasn't happy. I started crying. She threatened to make me go inside and return it (we were still sitting in the car, in the parking lot), but I think she was a little embarrassed herself, and my tears were probably pretty convincing of my regret. So, we never returned it. It's actually floated around between my mother (yeah, she had the nerve to keep it for HERSELF!), then my grandmother, and when I found it again a few years back, I finally took possession of it.

What is it?

A BOOKMARK!

Hahhahaha, so lame.

Charity of the Month: One Mango Tree

2011-08-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

It started with one woman. One sewing machine. One story.

Halle Butvin, Founder and Director of One Mango Tree, was strolling through the central market in Gulu, Uganda, when she met Auma Lucy. Auma was alone in her market stall, just her and her sewing machine. Halle and Auma struck up a conversation, which developed into a friendship, which developed into a partnership. What Halle learned about Auma was that she was like so many other women in Uganda: abandoned by her husband, and left with several children to care for. Not only did Auma have to provide for her children, but she was also caring for 11 nieces and nephews that had been orphaned, through both the war and AIDS. Halle found a way to make a difference for Auma and women like her: One Mango Tree.

In deciding to start One Mango Tree, Halle had to decide on an economic model for her organization, and jump through all the loops that are involved in starting a business in a developing country. In deciding on a for-profit model vs. a non-profit model, Halle says that she "really felt that the products needed to sell themselves." In essence, in order to create something that was going to be sustainable over time and have long term efficacy, it had to stand on its own, without the need to seek donations in order to stay open.

Making that decision was only the first hurdle, however. Just some of the challenges Halle had to overcome in getting One Mango Tree started in Gulu: registering, getting tax ID numbers, getting export licenses, navigating trade policy to determine tariffs, finding reliable shippers, etc. If these things would be difficult to do in the US, imagine doing them in a different country! However, Halle says the biggest challenge is working on their supply chain: the demand for their products is there, but the supply is often lower than demand due to lack of reliability within the textile industry, price fluctuations, and just generally a lack of available fabric.

The good news: this hasn't kept Halle and One Mango Tree from growing and doing what they meant to do. Through the making and selling of their products, One Mango Tree has changed hundreds of lives by creating sustainable incomes for women, who can feed their families, send their children to school, and even start saving money to expand their business.

One Mango Tree also takes part in what they call "holistic community improvements." I mentioned this "holistic" approach when I wrote about Corazon: you're not just building houses, or selling products, you're actually going beyond that to see what the needs of the community are: education, access to transportation, food, etc. One Mango Tree does this by providing bicycles for their staff, serving hot lunches for staff and their children everyday, providing on-site daycare for infants and toddlers. Such a brilliant concept: you're taking care of everything that might keep a woman from coming to work: you provide her the means to get there, you provide care for her children so she doesn't have to worry about them, you provide her and her children with food so they can be healthy and productive. LOVE IT.

Part of this holistic approach also involves training and community development that helps bring women together: some women who were victims of the war, and others who were perpetrators during the war. It also involves the Village Savings and Loan Association, which is completely run by the women in the program. Basically, the VSLA provides financial literacy trainings to teach women how to save, why to save, how to create a budget, etc., and provides them with a savings account. This is immensely important for women who have never had more than a day's worth of food. The concept of saving for the future is probably something that is difficult for them to grasp, especially when faced with the challenge of daily survival.

Halle and One Mango Tree have not only been successful in setting these programs up, but they've actually been able to scale up their productions by building a relationship with Global Girlfriend. This relationship allowed One Mango Tree to bring their products in to retailers such as Whole Foods and Target. Yep, the organization that started with one women now sells their stuff at TARGET! Pretty incredible.

Although Halle believes that their relationship with Global Girlfriend is one of their major accomplishments, I think it's the fact that this enterprise is run almost exclusively by local community members, not international employees. During my last trip to Haiti with All Hands Volunteers, the organization was talking about decreasing the number of international volunteers, and scaling up the number of local volunteers. I think this is extremely important. The purpose of organizations such as these is not to spoon feed individuals, but to give them the skills and experience necessary to take the reigns and take control themselves. Out of 58 staff in Gulu and Kampala, 54 of them are Ugandan women, two are Sri Lakan men who run the apparel workshop, and two are American interns. Those are impressive numbers.

So, what do these women actually make? Here are some images of the products sold by One Tree Mango (they're actually having a great sale right now...you should check it out!).

(Yes, I want each of these...)

A huge thank you to Halle Butvin for her time in answering all my questions, and congratulations on the amazing work you've accomplished so far, and are yet to accomplish!

I'll leave you all with some words from Halle:

"While I started OMT with the mission to give to others, I never expected to receive so much - I have learned so much about myself through the business, and every day I get to wake up and do what I love - design products, tell stories, and work with all of these strong, beautiful and amazing women in Uganda. There are certainly setbacks, but the reward of building something like this - two workshops, fifty staff who have lifted themselves out of poverty, a beautiful product line and a long list of happy customers in the US - I could not ask for more." --Halle Butvin

The Death of Bookstores...and Books

2011-08-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

So originally this blog started with a reference to a prior post about my emotional breakdown at Blockbuster when they were all closing down...but then I went to look for the post and alas, I never wrote it. Sigh. In short: I was really bummed by the realization that movie stores are now a thing of the past. Sure, there's redbox and netflix and hulu, but there's something to be said for actually walking into a place, looking around aisles and aisles of movies, arguing with your husband over what you want to watch, finding nothing, and then walking out with something you're kind of ok watching. And then having to physically return it so you don't get charged late fees. Sounds less than glorious, but I kinda liked that experience. Knowing that future generations will never know what that's like is kind of sad...and scary. Things are changing so quickly these days (I wonder if that's how older generations felt also...).

Ok, now we can move on to this post. I’m having a similar emotional breakdown about Border’s closing down. One more down. It makes me wonder: how much longer until Barnes & Noble closes down? How much more after that until books are no longer published? Which just made me think back to Blockbuster…how much longer do you think DVD’s and Blue Ray’s will be around for? I wonder if it’s just a matter of time before all movies will only be available for download, online or directly through your cable provider.

There’s been talk for a while about the death of the publishing industry, and it honestly makes me sad. Indeed, the title of this blog is less than creative, since a simple google search of "death of books" or "death of bookstores" will come up with ample reading material (including this one, which is a great sentimental piece about the love and affinity of books, compared to e-books: "'I wonder if anyone has ever cried while reading an e-book'").

As great as I hear they are, the idea of reading on a Nook or Kindle just doesn’t cut it for me. I like having the actual book, I like being able to put it on my bookshelf when I’m done reading it. I like turning the pages. I like highlighting parts of it, and writing notes in the margins (yeah…I really do that). Jeff agrees with me on the sentimentality of having physical books to hold and turn pages to, but he also made a good point: in our day and age, we really shouldn’t be cutting down trees just to make books; it makes complete sense to move to electronic forms of publishing, which are cheaper and have less of a negative impact on the environment. He compared it to using gas as fuel for our cars: it’s something our society should be past already. Like one of the articles linked on this post mentioned (but I'm too lazy to find it, quote it and re-link it), I do understand the utility of e-books when traveling, or for large reference books, etc. I couldn’t agree more, but the idea of books someday being a "1984" thing of the past is scary. Kindle has actually taken all of the sentimentalities into their ad campaigns, and I think I hate them just a little bit for mocking my emotions:

As mentioned in the Huffington Post: "Electronic books may make rare texts available to the world and allow us to pack dozens of books in our carry-on bags, but they also single-handedly responsible for the decline of print publishing." The whole article is actually a good read, and in closing expresses the sentiment which has keep me away from the closing sales at Borders: "Surrounded by red and hornet-yellow markdown tags, I couldn't help but feel I wasn't witnessing the death of a bookstore, but the slow, succumbing death of the book itself." That was my exact thought when I heard of the closing of Borders. Books, in their entirety, will someday cease to exist. In someone else's words: "...the idea of reading printed books will be a tiny boutique experience, not unlike collecting vinyl."

I imagine that our kids are going to have all of their textbooks downloaded to their laptops. They won’t have to lug around heavy textbooks for French class or Algebra. They’ll just have their laptop with all their textbooks on there. Will libraries become nonexistent? I loved going to the library in elementary school and junior high. It’s sad to think that my kids will not experience that (although maybe they’ll be more normal than I was and just not like to read at that age), although I’m sure they’ll be replaced with other experiences that I didn’t have as a child. Who knows.

(Speaking of kids and reading and coolness. Jeff mentioned that he was listening to Kevin & Bean on KROQ the other day, and they were talking about the closing of Borders and how they basically couldn’t care less, because reading is stupid. For those not in the Southern California area…Kevin & Bean are morning DJ’s for an alternative radio station. They’re over forty…catering to high schoolers. Apparently there was only one guy on the show that talked about books in a positive light, and expressed his enjoyment of reading. The forty year old made fun of him for reading…and I couldn’t help but wonder if they just got stuck in the mind set of a high schooler who thinks that reading is lame, or they’re just pretending because that’s the age group that they’re catering to. Either way, I don’t think Jeff has been able to listen to them since, ha.)

Just like the era of movie stores being over…I sadly feel that the era of bookstores, and books for that matter, is quickly coming to an end. And I mourn our loss.

Doing the impossible

2011-08-15T21:43:00.001-07:00

I went to church with my mom a couple weeks ago. The sermon was about the whole walking on water episode in the bible. The one line from the priest that really struck me, was the following:

“Wouldn’t you like to be able to do the impossible?”

Yeah, I would. I just don’t know how. Any suggestions?

Wrinkles...

2011-08-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

I’ll start with a quick digression. I’m currently in a car, on our way to Vegas. And I’m typing on my laptop. Don’t worry, I’m glancing around periodically to make sure I don’t miss any exciting dessert hills. My point: technology is amazing.

My grandma’s birthday is this Sunday, and unfortunately I’m missing the celebration…for Vegas (don’t worry, you’re not the first to tell me my priorities are skewed). To make up for it, however, I decided to go visit my grandma, take her out to lunch and spend a few hours going around doing whatever she wanted to do. It was quite the pleasant visit: I took her to JC Penny, she needed to buy a calling card from Costco, so we hit up Costco, we bought some yarn so she can make a baby blanket for Olivia, we hit up Soupplantation (her choice), and rounded up the evening by walking around Old Town Temecula and oogling at the price of “antiques.” All in all, it was a great day.

With one exception.

Grandma got me freaking out about wrinkles!! I’ve never been one to care too much about my physical appearance, much to my detriment, I’m sure. And although I’m on the cusp of 30, I hadn’t started to freak out about the extra lines on my face. Until my grandma mentioned it. “You really need to take care of your skin! You have too many wrinkles for someone your age.” Um….ok? She immediately made me put on some anti-aging, de-wrinkling lotion that probably has more chemicals in it than the stuff I use to clean our kitchen. Then she let me have that lotion and told me to make sure I put it on generously every day. “It’s expensive, but it’s worth it, you need to start spending money on taking care of yourself.” Don’t get my grandma wrong, she’s amazing and she’s not as materialistic as this one incident probably makes her out to be. It’s more funny than anything else.

However, it brings up a subject Jeff and I have commented on several times before, when we see people on TV who have stretched their faces beyond belief, and look horrid: why can’t people just let themselves age gracefully? I wonder when this infatuation started…I mean, it’s not like people around you don’t know how old you really are. Sure, maybe your face looks like your 45, but your husband knowns you’re 55, and your hands show that you’re 55. And people can tell you’ve had plastic surgery. Or botox, or whatever. Wrinkles are part of the circle of life.

I just don’t get it. But grandma made me wonder: am I being too careless in [not] taking care of myself, in my effort to not care about aging? Should I at least do the minimum and put on magic lotions? Or do we, ahem, society, put too much emphasis on de-wrinkled faces? And why? Why does a stretchy, but still older, face seem more socially acceptable than someone who just lets themselves be?

Food for thought.

Music Corner: Gotye

2011-08-15T16:24:00.000-07:00

Great find by Jeff on reddit. Listen towards the end when the female vocals kick in, so good!

What I learned yesterday

2011-08-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

I should start with a quick update on what I've been up to. About a week after I got laid off, I got a message from a friend looking for a divorce attorney...then a distant family relative called to ask for help with her divorce...then a legal contact referred a client that needed help with a custody issue, and a friend from law school referred a case to me for a nonprofit incorporation and nonprofit status application. I guess what the universe is trying to tell me...is to man up. So, I guess I'm now working for myself...kind of. It's kind of exciting...and a little nerve racking.

Anyhow, yesterday was my first day at the family courthouse; my client had an interview and I needed to file some documents before her hearing today. While she was in her interview, I went up to the 7th floor at Lamoreaux Justice Center, where I found out the filing of documents occurred (after going to the wrong place only once, go me!). I had to check in, and let the clerk-God know what I was filing, so he could print out a ticket number for me. I got my ticket and walked in, looking around and seeing all the chairs in the room filed by people...with similar tickets in their hand. Well, my next step when chairs are unavailable is to look for a wall or table or something to lean against...but those were also in high demand. So...it was a busy day on the 7th floor.

My ticket was C365 (or something like that)...the current numbers up were A025 and C342 (or something like that). Well, 23 people ahead of me...not tooooo bad, right? Well....when C-tickets aren't getting called up at ALL for about 45 minutes to an hour....it apparently can take over 2 hours for you to reach the filing window. What's this business with A and C tickets, you ask? Well, at that point all I knew was that there was a rotation of some sort between numbers that started with letters from A through F. Little did I know....

After about an hour and a half, I finally sat next to an older lady who seemed to be getting anxious after waiting for over two hours. Her ticket started with F, and she expressed her concern that she hadn't seen an F ticket called in a long time. I took her ticket to the clerk-God and asked him if he could give me any information as to why the F numbers hadn't been called in so long.

"Well, there's a priority system and the numbers get called in order of priority. So A numbers go first, they're for ex parte's, then B's are for attorneys then..."

Wait, B's are for attorneys? I'm an attorney. I've seen B's come and go while I've been here. Are you saying that I could have been out of here already if I just told you I was an attorney?!

"D's are for process servers..."

"Wait, are you saying that I could have gotten priority if I told you I was an attorney?"

"You're an attorney?! Of course you can! Here." And he handed me the golden B ticket. "Next time just make sure you tell me [the clerk-God] that you're an attorney to make sure you get priority."

At this point, I felt a little guilty going back to my neighbor, knowing that her F ticket meant she'd just have to keep waiting...while I got a B ticket...and I'd be out of there way before I was originally scheduled to.

But I guess now I can say these law school loans aren't completely worthless: shoot son, they allow me to cut in line!

In unrelated news...I went to check my PO Box today, even though I wasn't expecting to have any mail there. There wasn't, but I still put in the code and opened it...just because it's cool to do it :)

But yeah, in case you forgot to send me something:

Alexandra M. Armstrong

PO Box 2096

Laguna Hills, CA 92654

Music Corner: Imaginary Cities

2011-08-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

I've been looking for something new (at least to me) to post on here, and finally someone made me stumble upon this. Love it. Hear it out, it picks up.

Much more mellow, but it was filmed in a bathroom, so it's all good in my book:

Introducing: My PO Box!

2011-08-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

I didn't think I would be this excited about getting a PO Box, but after you see it, I think you'll understand why. I was expecting a standard gray box with a key...and instead...I got THIS:

It's beautiful, isn't it?! It looks antique-ish, and has a combination lock rather than a key. I was going to protest this when it was being assigned to me, but I'm glad I didn't. I also feel like I'm on the right track as far as setting things up for my personal and joint business ventures. I've felt uncomfortable about using my home address for a lot of things, and being that we're not quite sure where we will be living for the next 6-9 months, I thought this would be a good solution.

Feel free to send me mail (preferably with a donation made out to Haiti Scholarships ;) )!

Alexandra M. Armstrong

PO Box 2096

Laguna Hills, CA 92654

Yay!

July Charity of the Month: The Compton Initiative

2011-08-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

Holy cow, July flew by. I think this might only be the first or second time that I fail in submitting my Charity of the Month on time :(

I was also having some trouble picking a charity, but then I went to a neighborhood clean up on Saturday, and the decision seemed obvious.

When we went to the beach in Haiti, we talked about how we wish we had more time there to organize a beach clean up: there was trash EVERYWHERE. It really detracted from the beauty of the place. The thing that we all thought about, was how easy it would be to clean it up if we just got a few dozen people to help out, and how much of a difference that would make. GOALS Haiti actually did a trash pick up in Leogane not too long ago, and I hope they keep doing it!

Flash forward to the present, minus three days: my cousin told me about an event in Compton, where they gathered volunteers every few Saturdays to help clean up the neighborhood, mostly by painting houses, fences, schools, etc. Being the sucker for volunteer work that I am, I signed up and got my friend Sarah to sign up as well. I believe if the wake up time was not 5:30am on a Saturday morning, more friends would have joined us ;)

Anyhow, we got there promptly at 7am for registration, and to figure out what group we'd be working with. There were SO MANY people. I honestly thought there would be about 20 of us...but nope, I'm pretty sure the body count was over a thousand. They were mostly from various churches and youth groups...and by "mostly" I mean "almost all." People kept asking Sarah and I what church we were with...I had no witty response. I have no complaints though, aside from one girl really pushing us to attend the Compton After Party at her church, everyone was super nice and not preachy at all.

So what did we do? Once we found our group, everyone broke off to separate work sites: various neighborhood blocks, a high school (painting walls and murals), elementary school, and a few houses. Our work site was a neighborhood block, where we pained the fences of maybe 5-6 houses. These fences are made of tiny individual metal bars...I was honestly quite sick of them by the time we finished, haha. BUT, seeing the before and after, it really amazes me what one little coat of paint can do to really revive a place.

With that said, we plan on going to the next one in October. Check them out, and see if you can attend one of their events, or help them financially so they can keep improving the city of Compton.

Things Seen in Orange County: #2 & #3

2011-07-28T14:35:00.000-07:00

Older twenties-aged man in the rough streets of Irvine, CA, on a pretty serious looking unicycle.

So serious, in fact, that I was relieved to see he was wearing a helmet.

This is an old one that Jeff and I recently reminisced about.

'Twas at the Stadium Brewery in Aliso Viejo, CA (ahem, Cougar Den).

Jeff and I were in the bar area waiting to snag a table.

Man in his mid thirties-ish, taking up the one long table by the bar area, by himself.

He was sitting there, alone, with a beer (so, maybe technically not alone), distracting himself

with one of the many tv's around him.

Then, suddenly, it was as if he had JUST remembered something really important.

There was a smirk on his face, it was one of those "silly me, how could I forget this super

important thing?"

He reached into his pocket.

Pulled out his keys.

And carefully placed them on the table,

Making sure his BMW logo was easily observable to those [Cougars] walking by.

July 27, 2011

2011-07-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

Things I did today:

Yoga session
Cleaned kitchen
Went to visit Brookie at Starbucks/had lunch with Jeff
Worked on website for Brookie & me (for the whole wedding ministry busy-ness), and wrote a couple intro blogs for it (this took a while...had to do a bit of research on how to do stuff on wordpress)
Set up twitter/gmail for the above business
Attended MCLE on immigration at Chapman
Registered for a free Microfinance course (now I just need to actually take the classes...)
Sent a few important emails and made some important phone calls

Things I didn't do/need to do:

I'm not going to waste your time or mine spelling out the bazillion things I need to do...not until I can at least bring the list down to something reasonable :)

Veggies and Goat Cheese!

2011-07-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to try this out since Jeff's sister-in-law made this years ago...literally...years.

Chopped up some bell peppers (yellow, red, orange), and zucchini, and tomato...

Added seasoned goat cheese, olive oil (I think I put too much oil...), salt & pepper:

Not the best picture, but it was delish:

Updates and New Beginnings (Again)

2011-07-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

(Disclaimer: it's a long one)

So many things to update on that I've actually been putting this off for a few days. Which, within the first line, leads me to digress already: I'm not sure why I feel the need to write; those that are close to me know what's going on, and I don't think I have too many random people following the intricacies of my life that I, for whatever reason, chose to post on the world wide web. Regardless, I feel I have the responsibility to let you all know what's been going on. So here we go.

WORK. I haven't written [too] much about my frustrations with TBM and my job because 1) I'm sure it gets old and most people seem to dislike their job to some degree; 2) it's minor complaining compared to what other people have to deal with in their lives; 3) as someone once said before, "be ye not so stupid" and don't write about your work on the internet unless you have permission to. So yeah, I wasn't so keen on the idea of my boss finding out about my blog while I was still working there and reading all the things I hated about the position (although I'm pretty sure he knew anyway).

This job was meant to be temporary, but it actually started looking like it would turn into something more permanent, and then it didn't. Woah, what does that even mean?! An attorney I used to work for ("TBM") was in need of a legal assistant since the one he had left him high and dry. I needed the money, so I agreed to work in his office part time doing administrative work. He later asked me to start working full time, and told me there was room for me to grow and possibly start a family law practice within his firm. Which sounded great, except that 1) there wasn't really enough time left in the week for me to "start a family law practice" while also keeping on top of all the other things I had to do (you know, important stuff, like correspondence and filing and making court and deposition appearances when him and the other attorney weren't available); and 2) I didn't really want to bust my ass to start a practice for someone else: if I'm going to put in the time and effort to learn a whole new area of law and make it work, I wanna make it work for me, not for someone else.

I could go on forever, but for your sake and mine, I'll just say that the administrative and "personal assistant" duties became a bit much for me to handle, and I realized that any promises made were not going to come to fruition. I was planning on putting in my two weeks notice when TBM let me know last Friday that he was gonna have to let me go due to some financial difficulties. It wasn't a huge shock, and aside from not having a steady check every two weeks (which is HUGE), I was actually relieved.

Here's why.

I've been thinking about what I want to do, or at least what I could enjoy doing, that would help bring some income into our household. I've got some business ideas floating around with Jeff, my friend Brooke, and an old colleague also, but I haven't been able to do anything with these ideas because I've been wasting forty hours a week at a pointless job. Sure, not having a source of steady income is scary as all hell, but I think it's something that needed to happen to make me do something for myself. I'm so used to things working out, and always being able to get things done with minimal effort, that I'm not used to having to work really hard at things. This is my challenge, and I'm nervous/excited to see how I deal with it.

One thing Jeff and I did have to laugh/cry about: I wrote before about how our lives seem to be a roller coaster, but one that never careens out of control: there's always a very delicate balance that keeps us holding on. I mentioned in the "Failure to Launch" blog (which I still have to respond to, thank you everyone for your very thoughtful comments!) how Jeff and I would be moving into his parents house. We were both so excited to be able to save up some money. But with the whole loss of income thing...it seems like we'll be, once again, just getting by. Thankfully we won't have to worry about paying rent, but we also won't have the income we had...which we were hoping to save up. Just so typically us :)

FOOD. Salads. They're kind of my jam right now. I grew up on salads that contained minimal ingredients, and figured that was the norm. I'm discovering that you can throw just about anything into a salad and make it delicious. Like almonds. Or bell peppers. Or feta cheese. Or cilantro! I know, they may seem obvious to you, but for whatever reason, they're new discoveries to me, and I'm excited about it. I think I've been pretty good the last few weeks on not over-indulging on stuff. I did have Mickey D's on Friday (right before I found out I was getting laid off), but that was because I had few alternatives, plus, it came out to about five bucks. Sigh.

This last picture is from dinner with Jeff's parents on Sunday. Holy glorious. Those potatoes? Yep, amazing. Foil paper, slice, salt, butter, put some onion chunks over them, smear some italian dressing over them, put them on the grill, and voila. Not pictured: stuffed chile. I don't know enough to give details, other than it was delicious. And it sent me into a food coma.

EXERCISE: I haven't been the greatest at this, but with being unemployed and Vegas being around the corner, I'm really gonna try to kick it up a notch. Jeff and I are trying to go on little walks before/after dinner, and I actually made it to the gym this morning! It was probably my most lame attempt at working out, but I at least made it there. Baby steps...

THINGS I WANT: Remember that iPhone case I wanted? Here's a reminder just in case. (Ha! iPhone "case"..."just in case"...get it?! wow...Lord help me...) Well....I GOT IT! Turns out Jeff wanted to give me some sort of compensation for helping him get his art show set up at Mesa, and it's absolutely fabulous. It's taking some getting used to, but I really like it. I still haven't dropped my phone, so I can't attest to it's protective powers, but hopefully they're good...because my phone falls quite a bit. Needless to say...I need to set up Jeff's next art show before my next installment of "Things I Want"...this could be great!

Unemployment accountability: I think I might go back to my old accountability reports from my last stint of unemployment. It shamed me into being productive, and I might need that up and running again. I think this post is long enough as is, so I might skip my accountability from the last couple days, but I am proud of everything I did yesterday and today, so I'm off to a much better start.

The Walking Dead: One thing I did do yesterday was go to Barns & Nobel and buy Volume 13 of The Walking Dead. As if I didn't have OCD issues on my own, this comic makes it nearly impossible to put down. I read volumes 11 & 12 on Sunday at Jeff's parent's house, and although we had volume 14...we were missing volume 13. So I went to B&N yesterday...then sat in the parking lot of Trader Joe's reading about a third of it before I forced myself to go buy stuff for dinner and go home before finishing it. Which I did. Then I finished Volume 14. Holy cow. The father-son relationship reminds me so much of Roland and Jake from The Dark Tower, which I love. I actually keep wanting to call Carl, Jake. It'll be interesting to see what they keep for season 2 of the show. And I'm hoping volume 15 comes out soon...

Well, I hope that wasn't entirely boring. One thing I'm excited about with this whole unemployment thing is working on more substantive blog posts...so hopefully that works out to your advantage :)

Has our generation "failed to launch"?

2011-07-18T20:49:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to a deposition for one of our cases, and I got to talking to Mr. Doctor (his specialty is in bio mechanics, really interesting stuff about friction coefficients and what not--seriously) during breaks and for a bit after the depo (legal lingo, short for deposition...so fancy, huh?). He ended up talking about his frustration with the failure of each of his kids to be able to live on their own. They're each between 22-27 years old, and yet they're all living off of the old man still. Mind you, they're not losers or bad children: his daughter is an attorney, another son works in the environmental non profit sector, and the youngest is an aspiring actor (Mr. Doctor said this last one is going to have a "coming to God talk with his father very soon" about the realities of pursuing an acting career while living off of his father).

The daughter was laid off from her last job, and has been unable to find a similar job in the legal industry. The middle son is working, but doesn't make enough to pay rent, so Mr. Doctor pays for that. I guess to an extent he's enabling them, but on the other hand, he's not the only person in his generation going through this. Jeff and I might actually be moving in with Jeff's parents for a bit to save up some money. Is it wrong for them to let us move in instead of making Jeff and I figure it out on our own? Who knows.

Mr. Doctor made a comment which I found interesting, and I'll paraphrase: "I thought having kids was going to be like my generation was: you go to school, get a job, and start supporting yourself. I thought I was going to be done after college, maybe graduate school, but I'm still having to support all three of them." This is something that's come up quite a bit lately, and I find it pretty intriguing. What is crazy about this whole situation is that Jeff's parents and Mr. Doctor are among plenty of parents going through the same thing, I'm sure.

I think I wrote before how my family seems to be disappointed in the fact that my cousins and I haven't reached any sort of stability in our lives. They think back to when they were our age, and although they all had their difficulties in getting where they are, they had kids, a steady and secure job with potential to move up, and eventually a house.

The New York times published an article, a lengthy one that I'll confess I wasn't able to read in it's entirety, talking about why 20-somethings are taking so long to grow up. They've termed it "emerging adulthood." Our "transition to adulthood" is traditionally marked by five milestones:

Completing school
Leaving home
Becoming financially independent
Marrying
Having a child

Our generation is reaching these milestones at a later point in life than past generations. According to the article, some of the reasons for our delay in reaching these milestones include:

"Need for more education to survive in an information-based economy;
Fewer entry-level jobs even after all that schooling;
Young people feeling less rush to marry because of general acceptance of premarital sex, cohabitation and birth control;
and young women feeling less rush to have babies given their wide range of career options and their access to assisted reproductive technology if they delay pregnancy beyond their most fertile years."

I find that all very interesting, and I have few points of my own that I've been wanting to make about all of this:

We're not fuck ups. Sorry for the f-bomb, but I'm not sure what other expression to use, haha. I get the feeling that older generations (or maybe just the media, hmm....) think we're doing something hugely wrong with our lives, that we haven't played our cards right. But, we've kinda played the cards we were dealt. We were raised on the understanding that if you go to school and put your time in, things will work out for you. Given how many people get college degrees these days, that simple plan of just "going to school and working hard" can't work out for everyone.

As spoken by Tyler Durden in Fight Club:

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war...our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

Which leads me to...

The education bubble has to burst. Remember that whole housing bubble and how it finally exploded? I think something similar has to happen with higher level education. Hear me out. So. Housing. Prices got crazy high. People were able to buy them based on loans they couldn't afford to pay back. People didn't pay. Housing market crashed. People got stuck with over priced homes, and many of them lost them. But the pricing of real estate finally came down to something that was at least remotely affordable for the average American.

There are so many people going to college now, it's basically like another high school degree. Tuition for colleges and universities has been on a steady incline for how long? I'm not gonna look this up, but I'm pretty sure that every semester I hear something on the news about tuition going up 10, 20, 30%. NPR had a brief segment in which, if I remember correctly, it stated that the UC system was the most expensive public education in the world. How is that a public education? Not to mention private schools, such as my law school. Which is overpriced, and I couldn't afford, but someone gave me a loan, which I'm not quite able to pay back. I haven't made a decent payment on my loan since I graduated, but the interest is still accumulating. And I know I'm not the only one that didn't think this through. So what's going to happen when thousands of graduates start defaulting? I think something has to give for the cost of education to normalize. The big difference between a house and an education: they can't take back my degrees! Suckas.

That's more of a rant, but the point for this particular conversation is that almost everyone goes to college now. A college degree does not set you apart from the next person applying for the job you want. Maybe a master's degree. Maybe a Ph.D. Maybe the fact that your uncle John knowns the hiring partner. Education alone does not set you apart anymore. "I'm a dime a dozen, and so are you!" Yep, I just quoted that book you should've read in high school: Death of a Salesman. Maybe the cost of education will continue to increase to such staggering rates that not everyone will be able to go to college or a university, and the rest will follow through, you know, yadda yadda yadda supply and demand, less over-qualified applicants per available job positions. (Which begs the question, is it fair that only the wealthiest will be able to afford an education for better jobs?)

Job stability isn't what it used to be. I see my mom who's been at her job for over 10 years, and Jeff's dad, who just celebrated his 10 year anniversary with his company, and I wonder if/when I'll find a job that I see myself staying with for that long. Careers these days seem full of moves, transitions, lateral hires, moving up to the next thing. I'm not sure if that's because we can't be happy staying at a job that long, or because the possibility just isn't available as much anymore. Given the competition for a job position these days, it seems we're all a little more expendable. A company could probably find someone younger willing to work for free to get experience, for the same job that I want to get paid for, ha!

Priorities have changed. Getting back to the reasons for our delay given above, I'd have to agree with most of them. Instead of one head of household, you usually have two now. That's two people that have probably gone to school and are trying to figure out their career before settling down. Which also means school loans that need to get paid, and maybe that factors in to the delay in having kids and buying a house. I think this generation has also changed the order of priorities quite a bit. Maybe it's selfishness, I dunno, but it seems that our generation has put a lot of value in living their life before settling down, whether that's through travel or other life experiences. I don't think we feel the same pressure to settle down and have kids that our parents or grandparents had. Whether that's for better or worse, you can each decide :)

So. Have we failed to launch? Or are we just living life at a different pace than those before us? Or is this part of some Darwinian evolution?

Hmmmmm...

P.S. Pretty timely to come across this online today.

P.P.S. Another timely article I saw today regarding the business of law schools.

Music Corner: Princeton

2011-07-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

I want to dance around inside a hula hoop. And do the splits on rollerskates. And synchronized dance moves...yep, on rollerskates. Don't think it's possible?

It is.

Boo-ya.

OCD: Must....finish....watching...

2011-07-18T19:50:00.000-07:00

Some may recall my obsessive compulsiveness about reading. This same obsessive compulsiveness seems to apply to TV shows that have multiple seasons available on netflix instant watch. Also, given the fact that this is my third blog installment on some sort of OCD-ness, I'm wondering if I have some serious issues I should discuss with a professional.

I stumbled across Party Down on netflix one of those nights that Jeff was out of the house, and I needed something mindless to waste my time on (or the more likely scenario: I was procrastinating on the stuff I really needed to do that night). I ended up watching "16 to Life," which I also really enjoyed. Ratings for "16 to Life" aren't all that great, apparently, but I enjoyed the quirky yet kind of real life story. I'd post a trailer, but it's way too cheesy. I refuse.

But I digress. I started watching Party Down at some point last week, maybe Thursday or Friday...and by Sunday, I had managed to make it all the way through Season 2. I know, 2 season's isn't as epic an accomplishment as 7 or 8 seasons, but it's not my fault: they only made two seasons!!!! It's like Arrested Development only airing for 3 seasons, what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks?! Seriously, I don't know how Two and a Half Men made it a bazillion times longer than either of these shows.

Jeff was seriously disappointed in me not waiting to watch the episodes with him, since we started watching it together, but it's the same OCD that takes over when I start reading a good book: I just couldn't focus on anything else until I knew I was done. Good thing, however, is that it's still funny the second time around, so I'm totally ok with watching all the episodes over again with him.

But I digress again. Point is, if you're into uncensored shows (no nudity, but definite foul language) with pretty great humor, you should watch it. It's available on instant watch.

If you need some more convincing:

I'll leave you with one last pre-show:

Seriously funny stuff. To me and Jeff, at least.

Haiti Stories: What Scratch?

2011-07-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

Our drive from PaP to Leogane when we arrived was not as emotionally draining as it was the first time we went, but it was traffic heavy, as..I guess..it always is. Bumper to bumper...hot...bumpy roads...bodies and luggage smushed into a tiny car...watching people live their lives around you, as you sit and wait to crawl forward a few inches. Many times I thought we'd be better off walking...like in the opening scene of Office Space. But then the sun would hit me, and I would be thankful we at least had some shade.

At one point while we were sitting in traffic, it seemed as though the cars in front of us were finally gonna move forward a bit, so our driver got a little anxious and moved forward before the car in front of him did. The left front portion of our car hit the right back portion of the car in front of us...I guess to our left...it's hard to tell when lanes don't exist!

Abby and Adri and I looked at each other..."now what?" Our driver got out to survey the damage, the other driver got out to do the same. Meanwhile, everyone else was still waiting for traffic to move forward, so no disruption was caused by this inspection (in case you were freaking out about that). Both drivers took a look at their cars, didn't even look at each other, and then got back in to their respective vehicles. It was literally less than five seconds.

There was no anger, no screaming, no talk about insurance coverage, no exchange of information, no insults. Nothing.

In my opinion, there was simply an understanding that "shit happens." In Haiti, cars are cars. For the majority of Haitians, they are a mode of transportation, not a demonstration of how much you make a year, or how much money your parents have. The cars probably get more beat up by the potholes in the streets than any damage cars make to each other anyway.

Even though it was a five second interaction, I loved what it stood for (again, in my opinion...who knows what the reality is): as long as my car is fine, and I can still get these people to their destination where they will pay me, what's a scratch on the car? The car still runs, my life goes on. At that moment I had to laugh at how different this interaction would have been in the US: can you imagine an Orange County soccer mom who just got her bumper gently tapped by someone else? Yeah, I'm speaking in generalizations here, but I feel like the concern would have been on the scratch, and not the greater picture: nothing really happened.

Unrelated car troubles on our way in. Unbeknownst to us at the time,

Kisa, Mikey B. and Diego were all in that pickup :)

While I'm at it, there was also that time in Haiti when we ate at MaSaJe for Adri's birthday...and Mike's pizza had mold on it. The fries were delicious though!

Things I want: phone case

2011-07-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

Yep, another self serving blog section just got started. I've been meaning to write a list of stuff I've been wanting to get [myself] lately, then I thought, "hey, that's why I have a blog." Maybe you'll realize you want one too, you just didn't know it yet. Or maybe you'll realize that despite Jeff's greatest efforts, I still have terrible taste in many things.

I'm starting with the simple things. Like a case for my iPhone that I've been wanting for a while. I came across this one, and think it might do the trick:

It's made from recycled paper, it holds your credit cards, and the logo on the back is an adorable turtle. What more could you ask for?

I found a not-so-great review, complaining about the visual design of it, but it was in regards to the iPhone 4...which is edgier (not as in a photo shoot "I wanna see 'edgy'...'EDGIER!'" but literally, more edgy) than the 3G. Given the lack of any sort of visual design for the last two phone covers I've had, I think I'd be ok with this one.

I also found this review. My thoughts after reading it: do people get paid to write these reviews? If so, I want in. I promise I'll put some thought into it.

Our Battle Cry

2011-07-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

(Written by Dalila Maria Godoy Zamora; translated and published with permission)

Our Battle Cry

The wall is blue and the spray paint black. The blue wall belongs to one of those houses easily recognized in the Historical Center of the city of Guatemala. An old house, doomed to be forgotten, to the wearing down of the paint, to the fetid smells that can scare away the curious that for any reason wanted to know its story. I saw it three weeks ago and it wasn’t until today that I took a picture of that phrase that frames the entrance. The phrase doesn’t talk about past loves or threats, it doesn’t talk about political propaganda and it also doesn’t talk about messages between the gangs. Some passerby, one of those adventurous ones that walks on foot and with a backpack probably wanted to launch battle cry. One of those cries that we Guatemalans have stuck in our throat, a magnificent replica of those that we cry at the moment of birth, maybe because we know ourselves to be Guatemalan.

We know ourselves Guatemalan and even though every person cries at birth, independently of the place of birth, I’m sure that we understand from the maternal womb that living here is not easy, we understood that the books of our history cry blood. The majority of us know that at some moment in life we will also have to grab a weapon at any cost and with such weapon, a cry to war. I don’t mean those weapons devoted to lead and smelling of gunpowder. We cry because we have more sophisticated weapons: those that exude blue ink, black or green (such as Neruda’s admirers), we cry because our weapon is our voice, our drawings or perhaps our guitar. We cry because we know that we’ll have to take them up and we will be persecuted. Better that way, we’ll know we’ve done things right.

There are some illiterate, others like myself that aren’t good for anything beyond making a sketch that can be confused for a tree, but the truth is that each of us have a weapon, that can be your smile, your hope, your own integrity, your punctuality at work, your constancy for investigating, your eagerness to shine your clients shoes well, or who knows, to make him happy.

My uncle Epaminondas, inexhaustible fountain of my daily inspiration, stressed that it’s possible to be the best in what you do without losing the path of what is right. He achieved it. I dare someone to refute that. If he did it, why not you? Why not me? If being one of the good guys is difficult because it brings along with it beautiful sleepy nights and a smile on the recumbent body. That smile that indicates that death has been cheated to enter into immortality. That’s how the good ones are, immortal…and in many instances, anonymous.

Why do we Guatemalans cry? What intuition did we have at birth? If we know ourselves loved by greats, we know ourselves owners of an exquisite millennial history, we know ourselves owners of a luxurious gastronomy, owners of a great part of the color green in America, owners of colors.

We cry at birth because we know that we have to share this land with those who did not deserve to even see the blue of our flag, we cry because we know that not everyone who leaves their house today will come back and maybe we ask ourselves if he or she had an opportunity to say goodbye in their own way and to feel loved in the middle of a country that has cancer, of a country that seems to hate. We cry because a lot of us have family members who have been killed for political motives, because we have family members who have been kidnapped, because we have had threats of death even over our heads, because even without opening our eyes we have read the history and its only ten years of glory. We cry and starting there we are revolutionaries, starting there we have in our throat and in our chest the battle cry.

We cry because we are part of that rare race, of survivors.

And who said crying was bad? If it revitalizes, if it gives peace…we cry at birth because we feel like it, because that’s how we Guatemalans like to be. And afterwards we draw a smile, we adjust our backpack, and we go ahead, as if nothing had happened. And we smile and on the inside we cry because it seems like we live in a permanent state of mourning. That’s how the history is, that’s how Hemingway said it in the prologue to “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” we are part of an everything and any event that happens affects us, a part of us dies daily for every innocent who’s blood spills or spills a tear for a violent act. The bells toll for us…also.

Guatemala hurts….it hurts too much.

The passerby in question had a can of spray paint as his best weapon and wrote:

“THE PEOPLE HAVE TO WAKE UP”

Like a continuation of an August Monterroso story and like a hope of no longer seeing dinosaurs as a tradition I thought that the phrase was well accommodated for its appropriateness and for its happiness. It is well accommodated especially now, when the most dignified representative of politics and of the left in Guatemala dies: Mr. Alsonso Bauer Paiz; it is well accommodated because in my country they have murdered a poet whose best weapon was his guitar: Facundo Cabral; it is well accommodated because there is an average of twenty murders a day and I can’t be alien to it and it is well accommodated because my heart is torn, inevitably, knowing that since a few days ago a person with whom a grew up can’t hug her sister because this country keeps putting up with kidnappings, keeps putting up with people disappearing while things are accommodated and they rinse themselves in their tears.

Well I don’t want to anymore, I don’t want to accommodate myself…

To Mr. Alfonso Bauer I would like to ask him, teacher where are your apprentices? Where are we or what has us distracted from beginning to demand what we really deserve? When will this farce end that consists in granting the presidential seat to the loser from four years ago? Where are we the grandchildren of that revolution? We are sick and tired, it’s true…

To Mr. Constitutional President of the Republic of Guatemala, I want to wish you a life that is long enough to pay the debt you have pending with us. That your life is long enough to pay for each one of the tears that have been shed in Guatemala in the last four years for acts of violence…may your life be long enough. I would like to call you out on the fact that Cristina Siekavizza is not with her family, that maybe a man named Carlos or another named Pedro will die today…maybe they’ll die because a bullet crossed their destiny while they were walking to hug someone they love and who loves them. And I would like him to pay, each of those tears.

We have a lot of battle cries, the Guatemalans, and we have a lot worth fighting for…to the sound of the ballads, of the marimba or to the rhythm of those songs that perhaps we hum when we’re bored.

I grew up in an educational institution in which it was eliminated – to the good fortune of all of us that have passed through –from our vocabulary the word “impossible” and because of that I still believe that regardless of everything, that the nine letters that compose the name of my country can still highlight with dignity in mid flight of that bird of green plumage that represents us and that maybe now lies in some forest…and bleeds.

(My apologies to the author if anything was lost in translation, hope I've done her writing an ounce of justice.)

Accountability Updates

2011-07-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

I think I've done a little better at making slightly smarter decisions when it comes to what I'm eating, at least much better than I was in the weeks preceding my last update. I knew our 4th of July BBQ's would be filled with hot dogs, chips, dips, etc., so I took broccoli over to Erika's & Julian's house and fixed that up as a side dish, and bought a fruit platter instead of chips and salsa (thank goodness Erika and Julian already had chips and salsa there though...). Honestly, eating that broccoli was super delicious. I had also brought some sweet potatoes (or maybe they were yams...I'm still not sure) for us to fix, and to my overly-exaggerated disappointment (Jeff, thank you for putting up with my dramatic antics), that didn't quite work out.

My 4th of July downfall: Albertson's chocolate chip cookies. Law-school-extern-buddy-turned-friend-turned-coworker-turned-friend, Rama, told me they were the best. And indeed, in the words of Nacho Libre, they are the beeeeest. And so is mint chocolate chip ice cream. Anyhow, I had three too many chocolate chips cookies on the 4th.

BUT, I did go on a nice long walk on Sunday morning, and did a full yoga session on Monday. That evens out, right?

Tuesday night Jeff and I made a conscious effort to go on a little walk around The Lab and The Camp before Suman's show, and today I rediscovered how delicious super fresh salads are. I think I'm jumping back on to the healthy band wagon...

TBM Update

2011-07-07T15:18:00.000-07:00

It seems that a couple of you rather enjoy my references to TBM (yes, I'm looking at you Annie & Shirley), so I thought I'd share a little anecdote with you.

TBM rolled in to the office today a little before 10am (he had an appointment with someone in our office at 10am, otherwise I wonder if he would've come in at all).

He called me into the office, and as I walked in he threw a Target bag on his desk and said "I don't have time for this...separate all the house stuff from the medical stuff..." then resumed looking through his desk for whatever piece of paper he had misplaced in the 30 seconds since he'd been in his office.

What I expected to see: at least three months worth of unopened personal correspondence for all his bills and what not. He hasn't had me do that since March or April, so I figured he had finally gotten around to emptying his car and brought it all into the office.

But no.

This is what I found when I dumped the contents onto my desk:

Please take note that although I am writing a semi-bitter and not enchanting blog about TBM, I have been courteous enough to edit out the credit card information from one of his receipts (I hope I did that right...). Yep, crumpled receipts. See, TBM is remodeling the house he just bought, and doing a lot of the stuff himself and overseeing contractors and what not, so there are dozens upon dozens of receipts from Lowes, Home Depot, and a bunch of random contractors. I was really tempted to add up all the totals, but thought it was just be depressing, so I restrained myself. I did separate them neatly, at which point I asked what he wanted done with them.

"Just make a file for them."

I asked where he wanted the miscellaneous receipts that had nothing to do with his construction, since the whole point was to separate stuff out....

"Just put them in the same file."

Done and done.

Re-visiting our Beginnings

2011-07-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last night, our friend Suman had a show in Costa Mesa. It was at the same bar where Jeff and I hung out for the first time. We had finished our second shift closing at Starbucks, and Brookie and I had made plans to go hear a friends band play at Detroit Bar. We invited Jeff and he agreed to go with us. I later found out that was the night that Sarah was having her birthday party, and I think it took her a while to forgive me for stealing Jeff from her that night. But months later...we were besties :)

So we got to revisit Detroit Bar last night. Almost five years after Jeff placed his arm around me for the first time. Suman, also known as Rocom, put on a great show. Here's my favorite so far (keep in mind that live is [usually] always better) (also, warning: explicit language to follow):

Both Jeff and Suman have a little art show tonight, which I'm very excited for. Hopefully I'll have some stories and/or pictures to report later this week.

Our 31 Bits House Party

2011-06-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

The Cause

31 Bits.

I was going to post a link to my 31 Bits Charity of the Month post, and just realized I never did one, I only featured them in my holiday gift guide. I'm appalled, to be honest. Expect them for July's Charity of the Month :) Meanwhile, you can check out the amazing work this charity is doing here.

The Food

I bought these straight from the farm. Probably the sweetest strawberries I've ever had.

I made an improved version of the strawberry dessert with some recommendations from Jeff: I put them in plastic martini cups, and topped them with a whole strawberry with a toothpick through it. No picture, but imagine it. It was glorious.

I had too much cake though, and not enough martini cups, so the last layer of cake stayed a cake. Improvisation. Not half bad, huh? We were going to have a birthday girl in attendance, so it was actually quite perfect.

This is perhaps the coolest coffee table I've ever seen. Abby painted it with this chalk board stuff, so you can literally write on it with chalk, and wipe it off. And you can use it to let people know what cheese is what. GENIUS!

Self explanatory.

Johnny's spinach and artichoke dip, with fresh wheat french bread, yum!

Spinach and strawberry salad with balsamic vinaigrette, and almonds.

The Jewelry

The People

The Host and Hostess

Family coming out to support :)

Taking orders!

Picking and choosing...such a difficult task

These two. Thanks for being incredibly awesome and supportive!

Seriously. This has to be the new face of 31 Bits!

Absolutely LOVE this picture of Rebeca and her 31 Bits piece

Thank you so much to everyone who came out to support 31 Bits and the amazing work they're doing, you guys are amazing.

A special thanks to the Hubby for playing photographer for the day

Thing's I'm gonna miss

2011-06-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

Our lease is up August 14th. We moved in to our apartment in April of 2008. Just the thought of moving is exhausting. We've packed so much shit into this tiny space in the last three years. Most of it is stuff that we don't really need, but I can't get rid of. Jeff might call me a hoarder. He may or may not be right. It's something I'll have to come to terms with next month.

For now, it's been aggravating just looking for a new place. We went apartment searching a couple weeks ago, wanting to feel a little less stressed about the uncertainty of where we will be in a month or so. It was a waste of time. Apparently looking for an apartment more than 30 days in advance of when you will be moving in is "too early." Apartment companies usually require a 30 day notice from their current tenants, so anytime before that, they don't know what will be available in 30 days. The logic makes sense, it just sucks for people like Jeff and I who would like to plan a little further in advance.

Either way, we're preparing to move. Aside from the packing, and the moving, and the finding a new place, I'm really nervous about the emotional toll leaving this apartment is going to have on me. It's the first place Jeff and I have shared. It has so many memories: good times and difficult times. It's seen us through Jeff's unemployment, me studying for the bar exam, my unemployment, visits from Guatemalan and Arizonian friends, and more friendly gatherings than we could ever count. Aside from the upstairs neighbors who keep themselves busy late into the night every now and then, and some of the children that run up and down the hallway at 11 p.m., we don't have many complaints. It's been near perfect. We've got a garage for storage (which is problematic now that we have to empty it), a washer and dryer, and a close to perfect parking availability for visitors. ("So why are you moving?" Because they raised our rent over $100 a month, and paying $1510 for a one bedroom apartment is where we draw the line, even if it is Orange County.)

I'm gonna miss our brightly painted living room.

Our bookshelves are transferable to wherever we move to next. But this is still going to be the first apartment we had them in.

To be quite honest, neither Jeff nor myself are huge fans of our bedroom. We still don't own a headboard, and the rest of the furniture we have are mismatched hand me downs, most of which I don't even really like. I'm excited to see what we do differently with our bedroom in our next home.

This dinning room has seen two, if not three, years of gingerbread house making. And it was the first wall that held pictures of many of our dear friends. I'm excited to expand on that wall.

I'm really going to miss the white cupboards of our kitchen.

Psych! (yep, that just happened)

This kitchen was somehow able to prepare a Friendsgiving dinner for almost twenty people. I still don't know how that happened.

It's also the kitchen where Jeff and I fixed our first meals together. We've pretty much learned all the things we're going to cook for our children, regularly, on a rotating basis, in this kitchen.

And our wall...

I'm gonna miss our wall.

Again, we can replicate this in our next home, but it won't be THIS wall. You know what I'm not gonna miss? A TV that people at a garage sale won't even take for free...and that's a fact.

Wedding Shenanigans...and possible Career Change?!

2011-06-30T20:25:00.001-07:00

Sometime last year, my good friend Shirley asked me if I would marry her (as in, perform her wedding ceremony...the state of California won't let me marry her, per se). I remember being in my office at the bankruptcy law firm where I was working at the time when she asked me. On gchat. Hey, I got my work done.

Sounded crazy to me, but it's Shirley, and who am I to judge what the bride-to-be wanted? Brookie has performed several weddings (she had actually just married our good friends Erika and Julian), so I knew it was doable. I did a little research online and found out it cost $8 (plus $13 for the actual certificate, sneaky sneaky), plus about five minutes of your time to type out your name and email. Five minutes and eight dollars later, probably during the same initial conversation I had with Shirley, and I was an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church Monastery. Done and done, son.

Shirley is probably the best client I'll ever have. "Whatever you want Alex, just keep it short." We literally worked out the script to her wedding about a week before her big day. And I gotta say, it was pretty darn good. I was a little nervous right before the ceremony, but it helped that they had a small ceremony, and maybe those $120,000 I spent on law school taking courses in trial practice and participating in competition teams helped too. Anyhow, the ceremony went without a hitch, and I didn't do half bad. Paperwork was signed, and hopefully everything was done right and they should get their marriage certificate soon-ish. I even dressed professional!

TBM (The Boss Man, for those who forgot already) is getting married next month, and he got wind of my minister's license. I wish I could say he asked me to perform his ceremony because it would mean a lot to him to have someone that he knows perform it, or because he appreciates our friendship and wants me to be a part of his special day, but the reality is that he's trying to get married as cheaply as possible (second marriage, FYI), and I'm about as cheap as they come. So, I've got my second wedding booked! By "as cheap as they come," I mean that he hasn't offered to pay me anything. Which is fine. Jeff and I will get a free dinner at the Montage. And maybe the day off from work (he's getting married on a weekday to make it cheaper...not like on a Friday...more like a Monday or Tuesday). As I see it: a little more experience, a little more confidence, and maybe I'll start trying to make money off of this!

Let's shift gears to Jeff. Abby and Paul got married last July, they had an intimate courthouse wedding. They asked Jeff to take some pictures for them, and the pictures turned out really nice. Not crazy professional, but he captured some great moments. Since then, Jeff's been experimenting a lot with Charlie's camera (buying Jeff his own camera is at the top of our list...when we have the money for it), and he's gotten really great, in my humble opinion. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about her wedding planning, and she mentioned how they weren't going to have a photographer because they don't have the budget to pay someone $2,000 for 'em. *lightbulb* "Jeff took pictures for Abby's wedding...he's no professional (yet), but he'd be super cheap and you'd have some pictures of your wedding." And just like that, Jeff has a paid gig for October.

I think TBM is looking to hire a student photographer for his wedding. I'm gonna throw Jeff's name out there tomorrow. Who know's, maybe Jeff and I are gonna become the new powerhouse for Orange County weddings: minister AND photographer for super cheap!

I like, strike that, LOVE, the idea of being able to work for ourselves. I'm not naive enough to think that a couple wedding gigs that pay way under market value are going to provide us enough to survive, but it's a start. And you gotta start somewhere.