Saturday, February 6, 2010

Things you don't realize

For those random readers who don't know too much about me, I come from a single parent home. Whenever people find out about this, they feel like they need to apologize for some reason. Thing is, I never met my dad, so there isn't much to apologize for. Unlike those of you who lost a parent through divorce or death after having them in your lives for years, I've never known what it was like to have a dad. So how can I know what I'm missing out on?

Fortunately, I have an amazing mother and an amazing family who always stepped in where needed. My grandma's been my second mom, and my uncle Louie was always available to join me for father-daughter elementary activities (thank you Louie!). As a young adult, I always thought I was pretty well adjusted for a single parent, only child. Maybe deep down I have some daddy issues, but thankfully those haven't come to light much :)

I never thought much about what I thought as a child, and how that affected my mom. In my mind, I've always been comfortable with not having a dad around. A few months ago, however, my mom was cleaning out some stuff and she showed me a drawing I made when I was in first or second grade. It broke my heart to think of how much that drawing hurt my mom. I forget exactly what it said, but I had drawn a house in the shape of a heart, and I had drawn myself and my mom, along with a "dad." I had written a caption on it to the effect that a family isn't complete without a dad. Yikes.

Looking at that picture as an adult thinking of starting her own family soon, my thoughts were not towards what I felt when I drew that picture, but what my mom felt when she saw that picture.

Thank you mom for never giving up, no matter how difficult or hurtful the journey.

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