Amen!

"Dear Jesus....please bless.....bless the food we're about to eat. Thank you for today...and thank you for Alex being here today."

Last year I started to tutor the two older children of an amazing family, I'll call them the D Family. Part of my tutoring involves having dinner with the family, and the kids take turns on who will say grace before we dig in. Those simple lines always make me so happy, and make me feel very blessed to get time to spend with the D family. I know we're all thankful for various things in our life, but isn't it crazy to think that someone is thankful to have YOU in their life? Coming from kids under the age of 10, mostly without prompting, I think it's pretty awesome. I will admit that one of my favorite graces was last night, when the 3 year-old (or is he four? hmmm) started saying grace, then had to stop because he said he was going to cough, so dad offered to finish saying grace. I never heard a cough, but I thought that was very thoughtful of him!

If any member of the D family cheats during grace and opens their eyes, they'll catch a giant smile come across my face as the words "and we're thankful for Alex being here today" are muttered. Every time.

To the D family, you know who you are: thank you for letting me into your home, thank you for the countless meals, and for all the advice and support each of you have given me over the past year. I am truly thankful to have you all in my life.

Heels.

I wore my high heels yesterday. Doesn't sound like anything too crazy, I know. Thing is, I hadn't worn them in a while, even before I was let go from my job I had started wearing flats a lot. I forgot the feeling I get when I walk in heels: it's almost exhilarating. I can sense a difference in the way people look at me, like they take me more seriously. Maybe my reaction yesterday is due in part to the fact that I've been unemployed for over a month, so I haven't been dressing professionally for anything, I've been spending a lot of time in very casual and comfortable clothing. I'm usually not a fan of heels because they're a pain to wear, but yesterday, I even wore them to the grocery store. And it felt nice.

Daniel Skrocki: writer extraordinaire

Some of my favorite pieces from a dear friend of mine, and a hugely talented human being.

~~~~

I refuse to be

a casualty

of excuse

no matter

how

rational

no matter

how valid

no matter

how tangible

~~~~

I do not want to

be tolerated

I want to be

adored

I want to feel

special

and be special

to you

~~~~

I love her

and am ruined by her

a slave to her

every whim

a puppet

a ranting lunatic

[a precious decoy]

(I didn't get the ending, I'll post it later)

~~~~

Sin

is an opinion

it is not charity

it is obligation

and not a

duty

but a privilege

~~~~

It's impossible

to emphasize enough

my love

for you

and it is

this

impossibility

and the polish

of its

sheen

that leans

my torque

towards a

surrender

that

is

dangerous

and futile

within

the framework

of its

[very] own

seething

~~~~

All published with permission from Mr. Daniel K. Skrocki

The Big Picture

Yesterday I was being silly. It's actually embarrassing to admit that I was upset over shoes. Yep, shoes. I think it was a combination of feeling emotional over the last couple of days about what I'm doing with my life, financial instability, and being really hungry, but still...I shouldn't have let myself get so upset about shoes.

This morning, I'm sitting on our futon, facing our recently decorated Christmas tree, wrapped up in my favorite blanket, about to enjoy a few pages from the book I'm currently reading. I have a roof over my head, I'm warm, I could eat if I wasn't too lazy to get out of my currently comfortable position, I'm loved, I'm alive and I'm well. So what do I have to complain about? It's so easy to get carried away about the little things, and forget about the bigger picture.

The Economy Sucks.

I bet you had no idea! Ha. I think the current state of the economy is something this is affecting everyone in this country, no matter how rich or poor you were when it first started. In the least, I'm sure everyone at least knows someone who has been. Our little home has definitely felt the effects in a very personal way, and although it sucks, we just have to keep the hope that it will get better in time.

What is really scary is seeing all the business that are closing around town. On our way to Jeff's parents house, there is one shopping center that is completely empty except for the liquor store--because we all still need to drink away our sorrows, no matter how poor we are! But I've seen shopping centers like that everywhere...one shop closes down, then the next, then the next. Before you know it, there are tumbleweeds blowing across the parking lot. Cue Family Guy scene:

Cleveland: The only guy making any money is the guy that sells tumbleweeds.

Old guy: Y'all laughed at me! heh haw hah! Y'all laughed at me! (flashes money to beautiful woman) What do you think of this?

Beautiful woman: That makes you attractive!

Ok, enough of that.

So recently Jeff and I found out that our favorite Mexican restaurant, Fresca's, closed down. I am really bummed that we can't go there for lunch anymore, but I'm confident we can find mexican food somewhere else (one of the many great things about Southern California). What really bummed me out was thinking about the cashier who recognized us every time we came in, and the cooks who never seemed upset when I asked for extra limes or sour cream (although I still have my theory that that's because I speak Spanish...but now we'll never know). I can't help but wonder what they're doing now, how are they feeding their families, where they able to find something else?

According to a random website I found, 1.5 million businesses have closed, and California particularly has seen some of the greatest losses with 174,000 places closing.

In lieu of this, I'm sure we all know a business that was near and dear to our hearts that is no longer. What's your favorite business that has closed? Do you think they'll come back in a few years? For completely selfish reasons, I hope Fresca's is up and running again soon...

Charity of the Month: Charlize Theron Africa Outreach Project

A month or two ago I had the opportunity to hear Charlize Theron speak about her Africa Outreach Project (thank you Pat!). Other than being hot and seemingly down to earth, I was mostly impressed by the passion she has for the work her non profit is doing.

Right now they are still in developing stages, so they have limited their project to certain areas of South Africa, but hope to branch out to other parts of Africa once their project takes off.

So what are they doing? Basically, they provide health education to children. You know that health class we take in 8th grade, that's required education? Well children in Africa are never exposed to that class. Why? Social mores, lack of resources, lack of will, etc. The main purpose of this class is to teach kids how to avoid contracting or spreading HIV/AIDS. Teenagers are taught the basics regarding safe sex, and are given condoms. It's taken AOP time to win over the populations with which they work, since most children, adults, and elders of the community see such educational topics of taboo, but they are beginning to see the benefits of it and have started to embrace such educational resources.

Charlize shared several anecdotes, but one of the ones that struck me the most was about one teenager who told Charlize that he was in no danger of getting AIDS because he practiced safe sex...by washing his condom after each use. Charlize shared that what broke her heart was the fact that here was a young man who thought he was taking control of his life by practicing safe sex, without knowing that washing a condom is not enough. This is why a project such as this one can have such an enormous impact on such a large population.

I encourage you to check out the AOP's website, see what they're doing and how, and see how you can help.

I highly encourage you to check out their online store, they have cool shirts and some great Africa themed TOMS shoes. I'm wishing I had saved my Christmas money so I could get them!

Dip Corner: Yardhouse

We had a chance to try the Spinach Cheese Dip at the Yardhouse when our good friend Sarah was in town from San Francisco. It seems we always gravitate to the Yardhouse when she's home-it's pretty convenient for everyone and they've got plenty of beers to please everyone! Price for the serving was $10.95, and I think one of the best one's Jeff and I have had. It's got a good combo of cheese and spinach, and was creamy rather than watery :) Putting this one down in the notes as a re-do.

My only critique is that I do prefer tortilla chips or something a little easier to eat with than the bread they serve it with-which was still delicious!

Updates on Charity Shopping!

Not too long ago I posted an entry about holiday shopping through charities, and ever since that posting I've been running into more and more awesome shopping ideas. So here are some updates to the last post:

5) Central Asia Institute: the founder of CAI is the author of Three Cups of Tea, which details Greg Mortenson's adventures in building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. The premise of this organization is that the war on terror is better fought by providing education to the impoverished areas of these countries, rather than fighting a military war. Agree or not, education is always important, and the work that CAI is doing in these areas is absolutely amazing. Unlike the PIH calendar, this one is only $10 and you get a sneak peak of what you get!

6) Charity Water: charity water is a previous Charity of the Month. They build wells in Africa so people can finally have access to water. Check out there online store here. They're items include another calendar (talk about options!), gelskins for all your electronics, as well as some pretty cool t-shirts, bracelets, hydration bottles, etc. Check 'em out!

7) All Hands Volunteers: Biosand Filters Project: if you're a frequent reader, I don't need to tell you about All Hands (formerly Hands on Disaster Response), since I've talked about them without end in the past. Check out the video to see how you can help people in Haiti have access to CLEAN water and prevent further cholera outbreaks.

Saving Lives With Biosand Filters from All Hands Volunteers on Vimeo.

8) 31 Bits: in my last charity shopping blog, Nate mentioned I should check out 31 bits. I did and I think you should to. All jewelry is made out of 100% recycled paper by internally displaced women in Northern Uganda. Here are a couple of my favorite items they have:

9) Me to We Style: this online store has some amazing clothes, and 50% of what you pay goes to their charity partner, Free the Children, which supports development projects in rural and impoverished areas across the world. Again, some of my personal favorites (but please feel free to peruse for yourself!):

The first one is actually for a fundraiser challenge, I'm not sure if you can purchase individually, but it's my favorite:

But they have other cool t-shirts, as well as dresses, scarves, handbags, and men's t-shirts:

So, I think I've given you quite the array of options! Now say you, wouldn't it be nice to have one central location where you could actually look at all of these things for yourself, and not have to deal with the extra hassle or expense of shipping and handling? SAY NO MORE! (wow, I think it's a good thing I didn't go into advertising...). For those locally in Southern California, there's a church in Laguna Beach this is hosting an "Alternative Christmas/Holiday Market." In this market you'll actually find some of the organizations listed on this blog, and they're having it this Saturday and again in two weeks. For those of you who live further away, I encourage you to find a similar event near you.

A few more sites that my friend Sarah has passed along:

10) Krochet Kids International: another store with cool beanies, shirts, scarves, etc. that creates sustainable development programs. Check them out here.

11) International Sanctuary: Advocates for exploited people around the world. This online shop has a BUNCH of really cool jewelry, and it's pretty well priced. You can check out what the organization does here, and you can shop online here.

12) Princess Project: sales "punjammies" that are created in an after care facility for women who have been rescued, released, or escaped from a life of forced prostitution. Learn about their story here. You can shop for comfortable sleepwear and tees here.

13) The hunger site: I haven't actually had a chance to figure this one out, but if Sarah recommended it, then it must have some good stuff on there. Check 'em out here.

Music Corner: Michael Franti

I believe a friend who I met in Haiti posted this on Facebook, and I really liked the lyrics.

Further Adventures in Advertising

Rain. Constant rain.

As I mentioned before, Abby and I are doing our own fundraising for our trip, and the first idea that popped into my head was to do a garage sale, with donations of stuff provided by friends and family. The response was overwhelming. I underestimated how happy people are to have someone come to their home to pick up junk they have already had sitting in a corner of their home for months!

Abby and I prepared by advertising in three different online sources (Craigslist, Pennysaver, Recycler). I didn't feel comfortable listing the full address of the location we were having it at (which was generously provided by my in-laws, thank you again so much!), so I just listed the major cross streets and told prospective customers to look for our signs. We also had a dear friend design an amazing flier which we sent to friends and family, and spread across facebook as much as we possibly could. It's hard to tell if any of that worked, however. I really think most of our customers were just random people looking for garage sales that saw our signs. We did have one customer who came specifically for our event and simply donated $10 without buying anything, which was fantastic! But I didn't ask her how she found out about it, so I guess we'll never know what did it.

But there was Rain.

A few days before the event we noticed the weather forecast. Abby and I were vigilant about that forecast. We saw it slowly climb from 10%....to 30%....to 80% chance of rain. We were honestly so disheartened that all our hard work promoting, and picking up stuff from all over the place was going to be in vain.

Thankfully a friend came through at the last minute and let us borrow her tent, under which we stuffed as much stuff as we could. It wasn't the best organized, by far, but it worked. Although it did rain, and it was constant throughout the day, thankfully people still came and went and haggled (oh they haggled) and paid. We tried to combine it with a bake sale, which was successful to a lesser extent. I think the prime hours for the bake sale would probably be between 6-8am, and unfortunately we didn't get that going until after 8am. I think we'll try just hot chocolate and coffee this Saturday, starting right at 6am. In the end we made $685, which is more than enough for at least one flight to Haiti!

One thing we thought might work to our advantage was to show the work we'd be doing when we go back, so people know what their money is going towards. I did a picture timeline of a volunteer's day with All Hands, hopefully depicting everything accurately for our customers. Unfortunately, and it should've been expected, most people didn't really care, as long as they could save a buck. When people tried to haggle down prices, I told them the purpose of the garage sale in an effort to keep my original price, and all I got was a blank stare, haha. Oh well.

One of the things I kept observing throughout the day, other than the constant rain, was that as much as we sold, there was still SO. MUCH. STUFF. Honestly, anyone driving by around 2pm and seeing everything that was still strewn about would have thought we hadn't sold a single item. What I kept thinking: we have to move this stuff all over again. Sigh.

Fortunately we had a small army of friends and family that helped us pack and move everything. Abby and I are going to go through all the leftover stuff as well as the new donations this week to try to make the next garage sale a little more organized. Yep, there's enough for another one! Hopefully we'll make up the rest that's needed for the second flight.

In summary, I think if you're looking to raise money for something, and willing to put in the time and labor, a garage sale seems to be a good way to go. Advertise as much as you can, but I think the most important thing is to have visible signs at all major intersections, that's the only sure thing. I also reached out to not only friends and family, but also professional contacts, and was lucky enough to get a good response. Don't leave any stone unturned :) And make sure you have a small army of people to help you!

All in all, I think it was a very successful first fundraiser. Now we just have to come up with more ideas on how to make the rest of the money we need. Suggestions?

Adventures in Fundraising

In my pursuit of making myself more marketable to the non profits I someday hope to work for (and get paid to work for), I realized a few months ago that experience in fund raising and grant writing is always a plus. At first I wanted to take a course for each of these subjects, but the expenses involved with that just haven't been in the cards lately. So instead, I'm diving head first and trying to figure it out on my own, with the help of those willing to help.

Aside from our garage sales for our personal expenses to

Haiti (which I'll blog about later), my main adventure is trying to raise some serious money for All Hands, specifically their sanitation project. I've been working on a presentation since July, updating information and what not, and I think I'm almost where I want. I'm planning on presenting it to attorneys and law school professors in the area, so it needs to be legit. I'm trying to make it detailed without being overwhelming, informative, and even with citations!

At first I was thinking of contacting large law firms and trying to make presentations to them, but after talking to a more experienced attorney, we came to the conclusion that wouldn't be a very effective use of time. He helped me realize that the better r

oute to go is to just have a fundraising social event, where I can charge per person. My thought is: charge $40-50 per person, and after giving my presentation, ask people or their firms to pledge larger donations. The latter part scares me a little, since I'm afraid I'm going to put all this effort into this event, and no one will care enough to take it a step further, haha. Hopefully people will prove me wrong.

My two biggest concerns have been: 1) finding a place to have the event, with little or no charge, and 2) finding someone to cover the cost of the fundraiser. I've learned lately that both of these just require the right connections. For the first one, I met a dual attorney couple at a legal fundraising event, and was smart enough to keep in touch with them by sending them a thank you follow up email.

I asked the wife for some fundraising

tips and advice, and told her about my concerns regarding locations and cost. She gave me some tips on catering and what not, and a couple weeks later sent me a follow up email offering her house as a venue for the fundraiser. I can't tell you how excited I was when I read that email. So, just like that, concern number one evaporated!

I'm still working on securing funding, but the Thanksgiving holidays have set me behind a bit. I will be sending out some donation request letters in the next couple weeks. I was originally hoping to have this event in January, but I'm thinking it might have to be pushed back to February unless I can secure the funding ASAP (which with the holidays coming up, seems doubtful).

Everything after that, catering, decor, rentals, etc., just falls into place. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm going about this the right way, and that I can actually raise some good funds for this project. Not only will it help an amazing organization, it helps me feel like regardless of how far I am, physically, I'm still helping out in some way, not to mention the experience that it gives me.

Photo courtesy of Ben Waldman

Yes, Haiti has a Cholera problem.

Not sure if I've updated my dear readers since Haiti on my Mind, but it's been decided: Abby and I are returning to Haiti for two weeks in March, and we couldn't be more happy about this opportunity. We started raising money this past weekend by throwing a huge garage sale (separate post to come about that), and we were actually able to raise a good starting chunk of money.

One thing many friends and family have been addressing, out of concern for our safety, is the cholera epidemic that is ravaging the country. It's in some ways a very justifiable concern, so I wanted to write a little bit about it to set friends and family at ease.

How do you get cholera?

People get cholera by ingesting contaminated food or water. Cholera is not transmitted by being around people with cholera, but rather by ingesting contaminated food or water, that is caused by unsanitary conditions.

How do you prevent cholera?

The thing that really angers me and many others about this epidemic is how easily it can be prevented. The problem in Haiti and other countries that are affected by cholera is the lack of access to clean water, and therefore the inability to clean food before ingesting it. It's easy for us in developing countries to criticize people for using unclean water, but if you had a choice between dirty water and no water...well, it's not much of a choice, is it? Below is a flier that is being distributed to people in Haiti, showing them how they can prevent cholera (yes, it's in creole, but I think the pictures are self explanatory :) ).

Some people have asked if we can get a vaccine to prevent it. I didn't think there was, but apparently there is. However, the US Centers for Disease Control & Prevention actually does NOT recommend getting it.

Here is some information Abby found online:

All people (visitors or residents) in areas where cholera is occurring or has occurred should observe the following recommendations:

* Drink only bottled, boiled, or chemically treated water and bottled or canned carbonated beverages. When using bottled drinks, make sure that the seal has not been broken.
o To disinfect your own water: boil for 1 minute or filter the water and add 2 drops of household bleach or ½ an iodine tablet per liter of water.
o Avoid tap water, fountain drinks, and ice cubes.
* Wash your hands often with soap and clean water.
* If no water and soap are available, use an alcohol-based hand cleaner (with at least 60% alcohol).
o Clean your hands especially before you eat or prepare food and after using the bathroom.
* Use bottled, boiled, or chemically treated water to wash dishes, brush your teeth, wash and prepare food, or make ice.
* Eat foods that are packaged or that are freshly cooked and served hot.
o Do not eat raw and undercooked meats and seafood or unpeeled fruits and vegetables.
* Dispose of feces in a sanitary manner to prevent contamination of water and food sources

How do you treat cholera?

Again, something that is so simple-- it is extremely upsetting so many people have died from cholera. Cholera becomes deadly because your body becomes dehydrated, and it is extreme dehydration which may cause death. The solution as proposed by the World Health Organization: an oral rehydration solution which consists of sugar and electrolytes. Yep, sugar and electrolytes. So why are so many people in Haiti and around the world dying? Because they lack access to basic materials, such as clean water to prevent and treat cholera. Crazy, right?

With the right treatment, less than 1% of cases are deadly.

What is the situation like where Abby and I will be staying?

We are going with the same organization we went with last time, which is now named All Hands Volunteers, so we feel very comfortable with how they prepare their food and the standards of cleanliness on base. They also have nurses and trained medical staff, and have been working hard to spread prevention awareness around the community of Leogane. They have also been involved with the implementation of sanitation systems and bio sand filters way before the cholera epidemic hit the country.

You can click here to see what All Hands is doing on base, which includes elevated hygiene levels.

We want all our friends and family to know that we will be cautious with the food we eat and the water we drink, but our concerns should be focused on the thousands of people around the world who do not have the privileges that Abby and I will have when we are down there: access to clean water, and prompt access to treatment should it become necessary.

Want to learn more:

• WHO Cholera Information sheet
• WHO Information sheet: Cholera in Haiti
• News from Partners in Health: check out their entire website, tons of great information.

As always, thank you to everyone who has supported us and continues to support us. Your love and support are appreciated and needed :)

Charities of the Month: Holiday Edition!

Open, open, open. Do you guys remember that Mervyn's commercial? I feel like it's one of those commercials I'll never forget. What bring's me to this memory is that this Friday, hundreds of thousands of people across the U.S. will be waiting outside of stores well before midnight, in an effort to get the greatest shopping deals for their Christmas shopping.

So here's an idea: sleep in on Friday, get over your food comma, and do your shopping online while supporting some great causes. Below are a few of the amazing items you can purchase for friends and family, although you shouldn't limit yourself to these. If you have a son or daughter who is into environmental conservation, find an organization that focuses on that, and see what gift catalog they have to offer!

1) Support for International Change: I met a volunteer for SIC while working at the Arcade Fire show for Partners in Health. Looks like a cool organization, and I'm hoping I can work for them in the future. In the meantime, check out their cool handbags! I left the screen open to this one day in the hopes that Jeff would catch my drift...I guess it wasn't so subtle because he texted me and asked: "is this what you want for Christmas?" Yep :) They've got all sorts of styles, so be sure to check them out here.

1. 
   

2) Common Hope: the Common Hope gift catalogue is not actually shopping for those you know, but it still gives you a cool opportunity to buy some awesome gifts for COMPLETE STRANGERS (possibly in the name of someone you think would enjoy the honor), and what could be more rewarding?! haha. Check it out here.

3) Invisible Children: Originally, the invisible children website catalogue was pretty limited, but in checking it out for this blog, it seems that they've expanded their offerings quite a bit, which is awesome news for all you shoppers! They have both a Christmas catalogue and a general catalogue. I recommend going straight to the "all" catalogue so you can see everything they offer. My favorites are the bracelets with the DVD stories, and, again, not necessarily something you give to someone (although you could donate it on their behalf), but how cool is it knowing you can send someone to school for $35?!

4) Partners in Health: I've talked about PIH before, they're the organization I volunteered for at the Arcade Fire Show. They're doing some amazing things, not only in Haiti, but in developing countries around the world. Your $30 donation in exchange for this calendar will go to fund projects in Haiti, Peru, Russia, Rwanda, Lesotho, Malawi, Mexico, Guatemala, Kazakhstan, and the US. My one complaint is that they don't show you a preview of the pictures in the calendar, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume they are awesome pictures from the amazing projects PIH is working on in each of it's locations.

Do you know of an organization with a gift catalogue? I'm always interested in learning about new organizations to feature on this blog, so please feel free to bring them to my attention!

Please, I will beg if necessary, check out these organizations and give an honest consideration to the thought of giving some of these as gifts to your friends or family.

Happy shopping!

New Layout-ish.

Some of you may notice there are some [minor] changes to the blog. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I like the new color template because it's a lot easier to read. And I love the old map background at the top. But I can't get my picture to be centered, and that's driving the OCD-part of me a little insane. Any thoughts or suggestions? Should I got back to the old format or try to figure out this new one? Change is usually difficult for me, so it feels weird to switch this up, but I'm thinking it's time.

What's your impact?

So Jeff and I watched an interesting movie tonight that actually made me want to make some changes to how we do things in our home. I will admit that I wasn't stoked on watching it--not because it looked bad, I just wasn't in the mood for a documentary, but I'm glad we ended up watching it. The movie is called "No Impact Man," and is basically the project of one man to have him and his family live for a year without making any net impact: no trash, no energy consumption, etc. Sounds crazy, right? I still don't know how his wife agreed! (I also wonder how this guy ended up being a "traditional" family man...I think you'll know what I mean if you watch the movie ;) ). But she did, and they did, and there's a movie to prove it.

Other than being entertaining to watch, it made me think about what small things we can each do in our lives to make less of a negative impact on our environment. I know I'm not going to give up electricity as a whole, or get rid of my TV, but I'm sure there are things I can do that in the aggregate might make a small difference. The main protagonist in the film says that if you are going to do just one thing, it should be to get involved with a conservation project in your community: he thinks getting back to our sense of community is crucial.

I think most of us know of the obvious things we can do to have less impact:

• don't use bottled water. Use a container that's washable and reusable. "30 billion plastic water bottles are thrown away every year. Plastic can take up to a thousand years to disintegrate."
  
• lay off the plastic bags: instead of just leaving your Ralph's bag in the car, remember to take it down and use it instead of using plastic bags (I suffer from this a lot)
• use energy efficient light bulbs and household appliances (it took me over a minute to come up with the word "appliances")

Here are some things that might not be as obvious:

• did you know you can reduce your junk mail in your physical (not cyber) mailbox by calling places and asking them not to mail you stuff? I definitely need to do that. "Junk mail produces 1 billion pounds of landfill each year."
  
• support local farmers. I need to go to the farmers market more often.
• recycle, reuse, reduce. I'm pretty sure this was standard elementary education, but we tend to forget. I don't see myself making my own compost, but I would like to be more active in recycling stuff--not just plastics, cans and aluminum, but general stuff around the house.
• be more vegan. this one I'm really not sure I can do. I love bacon. I love a good burger every now and then. But then again, "animal agriculture emits more global warming gases into the air than does transportation." huh.

These are all pretty mild and tame ways of helping out. I recommend watching the movie to see what challenges you think you might be able to handle.

I do want to point out an interesting scene: the protagonist is talking to his wife during a period of frustration with his project wondering, why is he really doing this? Is it really making any difference? Towards the end, he goes on to explain that if we each get one person to change something in their lifestyle, then we are all making a difference. I thought it was especially interesting given my recent soul searching for my career. I've yet to delve into this and make any serious analysis or conclusion of it, but thought it was oddly similar to what I've been wondering about my desire to pursue public interest.

What do you do to reduce your global impact? What are your ideas?

Losing the Shimmer

I met up with a solo-practitioner last week to discuss how she started her own firm (let's call her Lucy), but was able to keep it public-interest minded. Basically, if I can't find a job working for a non-profit, I gotta find a way to make this whole attorney-thing work for me; a possibility is to start my own practice, but be able to keep it focused on low-income clients, while still making a living for myself (sounds almost like an extended oxymoron, huh?).

It was an extremely productive lunch meeting (I tried some sort of Thai coconut soup for the first time...something I would have never ordered myself, but actually enjoyed), but it also brought me back to a concept I brought up when I first started this blog: at what point do we stop pursuing our goals to pursue something more realistic?

Lucy worked for a big non profit law firm in Los Angeles about a year after law school, and I could see the shimmer in her eye when she talked about those days: everyone she worked with was empowered to change the world, and believed they could do it. There was a contagious excitement about the work they were doing, about helping people, about making it happen. Lucky worked with this non profit for about twenty years, until congressional regulations started restricting the kind of work they could do: no more personal injuries, no more class actions (these take away large sums of money from attorneys that actually want to get paid), no more funding if you're helping illegal immigrants, etc. Lucy grew so frustrated because she felt she was no longer doing what she went to law school do to, so she decided to go out on her own.

Years later, sitting in a hole-in-the-wall Thai restaurant in Brea, she talks about how she just had to make the decision, and now she has to be a business person rather than a public-interest attorney: she's gotta make money to pay for her elderly mothers 24-hour caregiver. I can tell from the shift in her tone, and the lack of shimmer in here eye, that she's not overly excited about this: she has to network with attorneys (ick! ;] ), put her name out there to find new clients, and charge clients for her service. I know charging seems normal to most of you, but for a public interest attorney who is used to working in a firm that provides free services, it feels almost immoral to charge people. But it's what she has to do now. She also wonders: how much impact was I really having, helping one person at a time? I certainly was no closer to saving the world when I first started, then twenty years later. I could tell this was something she had pondered before...her look became a little more distant, and I could see she was thinking of all the cases she had worked on in those twenty years and asking herself: did they really change anything?

I'm only two weeks into my unemployment (today is actually my two week anniversary!), but I'm already thinking about my alternatives if I can't find a job soon with a non profit or public interest firm. I might have to go out on my own. I'm gonna have to charge my clients. I'm gonna have to find a way to compromise what my heart desires, and what our family needs. How can I do this without loosing my shimmer? It may sound pathetic, but I'm scared of losing my idealistic aspirations, I'm scared of realizing I can't save the world.

Guatemala Update

A subject I have frequently written about is the Commission Against Impunity in Guatemala. I read a great article about it in the Washington Post today.

It was great to see the Washington Post write a long and thorough article on something that isn't in the news much, and that no mainstream media has much of an interest for.

As usual with Guatemala, it's depressing to see opposition to something that can actually help with the level of crime and impunity that exist within it. The CICIG has been facing opposition from various sectors since the very beginning, and I'm sure it will continue to face opposition for the remainder of its days. It just makes me sad.

It makes me sad because I read posts from my friend Isabel, who lives in Guatemala, and she talks about her frustrations with the crime and violence in Guatemala. People shut themselves in their house by 8pm. Their crime rate, as mentioned in the article, is three times that of Mexico. Three times. The crime rate of Mexico. Let that sink in for a bit.

So here's an organization that is fighting corruption and crime, and trying to prosecute those before thought to be untouchable because of their political influence and/or wealth. But it has to fight to survive.

I hope the two year extension of the CICIG is granted, and I hope it continues to provide meaningful improvements to the government of Guatemala. I hope the people of Guatemala demand it, should anyone stand in the way.

Reminders and Memories

(Disclaimer: this blog is from my working days, certainly not recent!)

There was quite a bit of drama leading up to this moment, but to make a long story short: I was in the middle of driving an-hour-and-a-half from the office to a clients house to handle some stuff for work. At first I was furious that I was going to have to take the whole afternoon off from my busy office schedule to do this, but as I set my tunes and hit the freeway I realized how stupid I was for complaining: I was out of the office! It reminded me of how much I enjoyed being on the road when most people were stuck in an office, behind a desk. There's something liberating about driving down a street at 10am, or 2pm, when the norms of society are yelling at your body: you shouldn't be here!!!

This trip was also quite an experience for a few other reasons. For those who read this blog and don't live anywhere near me, nor have ever lived anywhere near me (bless your hearts for reading), I live in a county that is sorely lacking in diversity, and it shows. This trip reminded me of the bubble that I live in. It was almost like crossing a border into another country. The streets are smaller, more people walking, different colored faces, people everywhere just trying to survive. It was good to be reminded.

When I got the the clients house it was almost like going back in time: I found myself in my great-aunt's house, or my grandmother's neighbors house in Guatemala: the plastic cover over the furniture and dining room table, the religious icons all over the house, the "recuerditos" from baptisms, weddings, and quinceneras all over the house, the clutter on the walls. There's a certain "feeling" of hispanic homes that I had missed for a while, and I felt strangely comfortable in this strangers home.

Music Corner: Odessa by Caribou

The beginning of the video has me wondering a thing or two, but I do enjoy the song.

Our Rollercoaster Life

Can't say I didn't see it coming. The office manager was in a prolonged meeting with the boss man yesterday afternoon, and over the last couple of weeks I knew what that meant: more people being let go. Un/fortunately for Jeff and I, I was one of the people that got oh-so-gently let go yesterday.

Before continuing, let me make one thing clear: I was laid off, not fired. There's a subtle distinction there that I think is important to make :) The firm has come across some rough times and the boss man says he has to do what he has to do to keep the doors open. Be that as it may, it leaves me without a weekly check.

However, Jeff finally started working full time last Monday. Yep, last Monday. Which means we were both employed full time for a full week. Crazy timing, huh? I can confidently say that God has been testing us quite a bit lately, but He has never completely abandoned us. It seems that as soon as we get something right, like both of us finally working and looking forward to getting on our feet, something equally bad happens. And yet, it's not terrible. It would've been terrible if I had lost my job and Jeff wasn't working. THAT would've been shitty. At least He gives us a window so we can breath until we find the next unlocked door.

And yet, it's still a blessing in disguise. Most of our friends know I wasn't exactly thrilled with this job. I loved most of the people I worked with, but I wasn't practicing in an area that made me happy. I knew it was temporary. I just wanted to leave when I was ready, not when someone else forced me to go. And yet, who's to say I would ever take the time to look for the next step in my career if I wasn't forced to? I now have the extra time to do oh-so-many things that I've been looking forward to. In no particular order:

1. Find a job that makes me happy. Ideally in the public interest/non-profit sector. Maybe immigration, hopefully international development-related.
2. Start going to the gym again. I was doing so good leading up to the Giacobbe's wedding, and then I let life get in the way again.
3. Working on my side projects: raising money for a sanitation project in Haiti, as well as Abby's and my trip to Haiti.
4. Work on the first pro-bono case I've picked up for KIND (I'll be featuring them for this month's Charity of the Month, so stay tuned).
5. Work on our apartment, getting it clean and pretty.
6. Build up my resume by volunteering with various projects and organizations.
7. Catch up with friends and family that I haven't been able to spend quality time with.

So yeah, it sucks to be unemployed again, especially when Jeff and I had gotten so excited about finally being financially stable enough to afford getting something for our friends and family (and ourselves) for Christmas. But all the cliches apply here: things happen for a reason, it's for the best, there's something better around the corner. Right?

October Charity of the Month: Corazon!

Tired. I was tired. It was 4:30 a.m., and I had already woken up in time to make coffee, make a couple sandwich's, pack up my bright red cooler, and load it into my car in time to be at Nate's house for the rendezvous. Have I mentioned this was on a Saturday?

Regardless of how tired I was when I started the day, or how extremely-beyond-exhausted I was when I finally got back home around 11pm, my trip to Tijuana ("TJ") with Corazon was definitely worth it. Corazon was started 30 years ago, and their concept could not be more...well....obvious! What they offer is an "integrated program of community building, instruction, construction and repair projects, scholarships, and emergency and long-term assistance." I went to TJ with the organization to help build a house, and found out the organization is actually involved in so much more than just building houses. It just makes so much sense, it's actually pretty ridiculous. First of all, they don't just give houses out, people have to earn them through a point system, wherein they earn points by performing community service projects, such as providing child care for neighborhood kids in the mornings (so their parents can go to work), helping in the afternoons and weekends with the tutoring center, or helping to lay concrete or roofing on a neighbors house. Second, their approach is wholistic. So it's not just about building a house and letting them fend for themselves: it's also about providing an education for their children so they have a better future, it's about educating the parents to help them get ahead, it's about educating the community. I absolutely love the idea of a whole community taking part in improving not only their own home, but of all their neighbors. IT'S FREAKIN' BRILLIANT!

Anyhow, below are some pictures from the build I went to this past Saturday, which was an addition to an existing house (8 people living in one room) rather than a whole house build. Please check out Corazon's site and see how you can be a part of this amazing organization, either financially or by donating your time. Take a day in the next few months, and join us to help a worthy family. If you come on enough projects, you can earn your blue shirt, which I definitely plan on doing!

Walking to our work site:

The house as it stood originally, with the foundation already lead for the addition:

Painting the exterior and interior of the walls:

Putting up the walls:

Marlene, one of the members of the house, working on her painting skills:

And Marlon, her twin brother, working on his carpentry skills:

Working on the roof:

Photo opportunity of our finished product along with the sponsors and all the family members:

TJ at night:

Wanna join us next time? Check it out.

Haiti on my Mind

It has been every since I returned from my trip earlier this year. I'm sure most of my friends and family are sick of hearing me talk about it, since I'm constantly either reading books on the country, or otherwise trying to stay a little up to date on what is still going on over there. Anyhow, the organization I went with just extended their project from January 15, 2011, to December, 2011. Which means....I want to go back.

I wish that my decision to go back, and the preparations following such a decision, could be seamless and easy. But as most things in this life, it has complications upon complications. Jeff will be starting a new job soon (yipee!!!), which means we should be able to get health insurance in about three months...which means we'd like to start thinking about expanding our little family. So I have to be very careful about planning my trip...I definitely can't go if I'm pregnant, which means heading back sooner rather than later. This means I have less time to raise the funds to go (I'm thinking it's going to be a little more difficult the second time around).

Thinking about this trip has also got my mind all jumbled up and thinking about so many other things...why do I really wanna go back? Is it just for me? Is it to help the people in Haiti, or just because it's something different? I want to say it's for altruistic reasons, but I know it's because it's something that makes ME happy. Which then makes me wonder if I should really be putting my family into a financially precarious situation just to do something I want to do. Wouldn't my time be better spent at home, with my husband? On the other hand, I don't want to regret not going back, when I feel it's something I need to do for me. Once we start having kids, I can't just drop everything and go to Haiti for two weeks.

Then I start to wonder if I unnecessarily complicate my life by wanting to do the things I want to do. I'm trying to make this career in the non profit arena (which hasn't been happening for me so far) and constantly try to get involved in as many worthy activities as I can. What would I do with myself if I just focused on being a little more selfish...what if I went to college and law school just to make money and be financially stable, rather than wanting to "save the world"? What if I just spent the weekends picking up my home rather than organizing field trips to build a house in Mexico, or attending fundraisers? I wonder if my life would be just a little bit easier. But I also can't think of what else I would want to do with my life.

Suggestions and prayers are always welcomed :)

Introducing: The Dip Corner!

Ok, so here's the deal: whenever Jeff and I chose to get an appetizer when we eat out, we always go for whatever spinach-artichoke dip version they may have. There are times that we order it, and only after do we remember, hmmm, we didn't really like this one last time. But since it's our default, we always order it, regardless! So here comes my brilliant (um, lame?) idea: start a little section of this blog where I keep track of which ones we've tried, where, and a quick reminder as to what we thought of it. On the first couple I forgot to take a picture...but later entries will be better documented :) Hope this is helpful to some of you out there who enjoy spinach-artichoke dip as much as we do!

First victim: Lucille's BBQName: Spinach and Cheese Dip
Price: $4.95 for a half order
Description: "spinach and artichokes blended with a creamy cheese sauce and served hot with fresh tortilla chips."
Our thoughts: for a half order, the portion was of a good size. It was more cheesy than spinach-y, and it was a little watery for our taste. I'm thinking next time we'll probably try a different appetizer...I mean, I guess at some point we should try to venture out of our comfort zone anyway.

Arcade Fire.

I begin with an apology, this entry might run a little long :)

I had the good fortune of attending the Arcade Fire show at the Shrine Auditorium last night. I remember Jeff buying one of their cd's a while ago, and I was kind of indifferent about it. The real reason for me going was because I got to volunteer with Partners in Health, helping spread the word to fans of Arcade Fire, and trying to raise some funds. I thought it was a bonus to get to hear that band. Holy guacamole.

They're amazing. They reminded me of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros: there's just soo many people on stage, playing all sorts of instruments, and they're all genuinely excited and passionate about what they're doing. It shows and it's contagious. Anyhow, they played a song last night that I really liked, but since I've never really heard much of their stuff, I don't know what song it is. I tried to find it on youtube so I could post it here, but I didn't have any luck. Instead I found about six other videos that are uber amazing (I lowered the final count...).

Ok, this first one is "Wake Up" and it's actually from the show I was at. It was their closing song, however, so I actually had to miss it because I was getting ready to annoy more people with donation requests :)



This next one is "Ready to Start." I love the song, but I also love this video because it shows how talented and passionate all of these guys are.



This one's just freakin cool:



This last one is called "Haiti." One of the lead singers is actually from Haiti, so it puts the song in perspective a little bit. I'm actually gonna post the lyrics, because they're a little difficult to understand, but the whole point of this song is the power of the lyrics:



Hait, mon pays,
wounded mother I'll never see.
Ma famille set me free
Throw my ashes into the sea.

Mes cousins jamais nes
hantent les nuits de Duvalier
Rien n'arrete nos espirits.
Guns can't kill what soldiers can't see.

In the forest we are hiding,
unmarked graves where flowers grow.
Hear the soldires angry yelling,
in the river we will go.

Tous les morts-nes forment una armee,
soon we will reclaim the earth.
All the tears and all the bodies
bring about our second birth.

Haiti, never free,
n'aie pas peur de sonner l'alarme.
Tes enfants sont partis,
in those days their blood was still warm.

In the Name of Science

There were reports through all sorts of sources on Friday discussing an experiment by American Scientists in the 1940's: the purpose was to test whether penicillin would prevent/cure syphilis. So, naturally, American scientists used individuals from a third world country (in this case, Guatemala) as guinea pigs: they used prostitutes to infect prisoners and people in insane asylums with syphilis, and later offered them penicillin to see if it would cure them. From what's come to light thus far, it seems that the results were inconclusive. Meanwhile, 696 men and women were exposed to syphilis, and it is unclear whether all of them were cured.

One article does state the prisoners were unaware they were part of an experiment, although I do find it a little humorous (politically incorrect?) that they used prostitutes....I guess this is how they keep the prisoners from knowing they are getting infected with something...instead of an injection, let us bring women to sexually deprived prisoners and see if they'll take the bait. I digress.

Although the new discovery of this research has brought to light questionable research methods, and has led to discussions about ethics in the research field, there's another topic I find interesting: diplomatic apologies.

Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, as well as President Obama, have both offered apologies for what happened sixty years ago. As "Tom" states: "I suppose it bothers me a lot more because it was so recent. When people get all lathered up over something 300, 500, or 1000 years ago, I find myself saying the fog of history really does make it a perilous endeavor to pass fair judgment from afar. But for crying out loud, this is well within the remembered lifetimes of many citizens both here and there."

This is where I start to over-analyze.

On the one hand, it seems only fair that someone should be held accountable for what happened, and that the people affected receive some sort of compensation for what was done to them (the government of Guatemala has already requested compensation for the victims).

On the other hand, how long can you hold an organization accountable for something that was done by prior administrations? I guess as a government, or any organization that has transitional leadership, they are always accountable for any actions done under their name, but it also strikes me as unfair to have to keep apologizing over and over again for something you had no control over (I'm taking this into a general context; the United States has only barely apologized for this incident). For example, Germany will always be made to feel like crap because of what Hitler did. I'm sure most Germans today are as disgusted with Hitler's actions as everyone else, yet they will always be held responsible for what happened years ago. The Guatemalan government is accusing the United States of crimes against humanity, and is "reserving the right to denounce [the United States] in an international court."

I think I agree with Tom that maybe these events are a little worse because they are fairly recent. I wonder if this news would have had less of an impact on news stories if it had happened 100 or 200 years ago, although I think both governments would still be playing the diplomatic dance and giving the "I'm sorry" and "I'm outraged" statements. I question how much of this is done to save face, and how much is because either party is really concerned with what happened.

Eh, I might not be making sense, and I'm definitely over analyzing, so I'll leave it at this :)

Music Corner: The xx: "Islands"

Another discovery via the indie station on Slacker.com. The video made me realize just how repetitive this song is, haha, but I still think it's cute :)

Charity of the Month: Locks of Love

Wow, I really thought I had already submitted my charity for September. Glad I checked today, I still have a few hours (on the West Coast, at least)!

I'm sure most of you know about this organization, but I'm going for it anyway. Locks of Love creates wigs for children. I always thought it was wigs for kids with cancer, but the focus of the organization is actually for children suffering from alopecia, or hair loss. Either way, hair donations go towards providing free or low cost wigs for children, who would otherwise have to suffer through the embarrassment of being bald. It's hard enough for adults to deal with that, but imagine children going to school and the endless teasing I'm sure they have to endure.

I first donated my hair about 3 years ago, and I've been wanting to cut again for quite some time now, but I was waiting to find someone I felt comfortable with, and make sure I had the funds to get it cut. Thankfully, I found Amy, who did an amazing job.

My hair is now waiting patiently in a nice plastic bag, just waiting to be shipped out to make someone happy (I hope...).

If you've got it in you, consider letting your hair grow out long enough to donate it, you won't regret it. I mean, even if you don't find someone as amazing as Amy...it grows back! (sorry, couldn't help it...)

Titles. Damn Titles.

For those who don't know me very well, I work at a small law firm where clients are constantly calling asking various questions, of various importance. Most of these questions can usually be answered by the receptionist, but I guess there's a level of comfort in hearing your questions being answered by the "attorney," even if I say the exact same thing the receptionist would say. I get it. I'm not going to lie, it makes my day a little more hectic, and sometimes I get frustrated, but I understand where they're coming from.

Here's what I don't understand, though. What makes the receptionist less of a person worthy of respect than the attorney? It's happened multiple times where the receptionist is transferring a call and she says: "sorry Alex, this guy is being a real jerk and is demanding to speak with you." Great. Deep breath. Mental preparation for the battle to come. "This is Alexandra, how can I help you?" "Oh hello Ms. Alexandra..." and continues in the sweetest, nicest tone ever. Not angry. Not upset. They just had a simple question. That the receptionist was trying to answer for them. It actually bothers me more that they're not angry: if they can be angry at the receptionist, why aren't they also angry at me? I know I have a title, but I'm not different than Amber or Nayeli, a person is a person is a person, and we each deserve the same level of respect and civility, regardless of what title we hold in life. It really irks me when people make distinctions on how they treat people, especially when they're based on a piece of paper.

I guess all I can do, personally, is make sure my kids learn better someday.

Loss and Regret

A close family friend passed away today, and it's made me think. Don Rodolfo was my aunt's father-in-law, and he was my pseudo-grandfather when I was growing up (much like his son was my pseudo-father for father-daughter occasions at school). I remember going to visit him and his wife, Dona Carmen, often when I was younger; I remember the brightly colored letter magnets on the fridge, I remember playing in his front yard, eating outside on the picnic table, I remember feeling lost every time we went to their house--no matter how many times I'd been there. Although I wasn't one of their "real" grandchildren, the distinction was never made. They always received me with open arms in their household, looked after me, and Don Rodolfo always had a joke or two up his sleeve for any occasion.

The sad and embarrassing thing is, I can't remember the last time I saw him. Dona Carmen passed away a few years ago, and I know he's had health complications since then. The thought of going to visit him always crossed my mind, but it was one of those "some day in the distant future" kind of thoughts, it was never a "let's make this happen" kind of thought. How terrible is it for a person to realize they've failed at making important things happen. I realize that I fill my life (or stuff my life) with events and activities, and the whole time I know I'm not making time for more important things: my husband, my mom, my family, close friends, my home. I sometimes wonder if maybe it's something psychological, like I have some weird issue with not keeping myself busy, or not planning ahead. I need to plan. I need to organize. But why don't I focus on planning and organizing things that really matter?

As much as we all like to think we don't have regrets ("I have no regrets, everything has been a lesson in life," or "everything happens for a reason"), I admit that I regret not making the time for a simple visit.

Mis disculpas Don Rodolfo; espero que descanse en paz.