Christmas Gifting: Receiving

This Christmas was definitely the best in a long time. My top gifts (in no particular order):

31 Bits Necklace: Camellia in sky blue. It's beautiful!

TOMS shoes in red. I've been wanting these for FOREVER. I've been wearing them since I got them on Tuesday night...and would have worn them to bed if Jeff hadn't told me this was unacceptable behavior for a 28-year old.

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an iPad!!!

Totally did not see this one coming.

Jeff figured it was a good investment for my business endeavors,

and I'd say...YES.

Played around with it all morning, and Jeff helped me decide on my next

DIY project:

an iPad cover :)

My mom was great and individually wrapped a bunch of gifts for Jeff and I (with the help of my cousins), including some truly awesome socks for Jeff--I'm not being facetious, Jeff LOVES cool socks and these are really cool--and some great ornaments for next years Christmas tree.

I can't thank everyone enough for making this year the best one we've had in a while, and not just because of the gifts, but because you are all amazing.

Love, love.

Christmas Gifting: Giving

This year I thought I would try to be a more conscientious consumer. So instead of buying a bunch of products made in China, I decided to make them (with products that are probably made in China anyway...I tried).

So I decided to bake goodies for my aunts, uncles, and their families. I made magic cookie bars (minus the coconut--gross), oatmeal chocolate cookies, and I did a few of the jars with ingredients to make your own cookies (because the jars looked really cool, and minus the pecans, because they didn't fit!).

The cupcakes were my contribution for Christmas Eve dinner. I put all the baked goods in mason jars, then Sarah helped me decorate the mason jars with holiday fabric, twine, ribbon, shiny paper, and anything else we could get our hands on.

For the male cousins, I made them each a friendship bracelet with their favorite cousin (it was more of a token gift than a "real" gift...), and went to Powell's candy store and bought all sorts of goodies to put in their gift bags with their bracelets (I'm talking pop rocks, air heads, now & laters, etc.). For my cousin in Colorado I crocheted some fingerless gloves (I do see the irony in fingerless gloves for someone living in Colorado...but they still have to come in handy, right?), and for the rest of the girl cousins I made them some yarn bracelets using a broomstick stitch .

Although I love the idea of having spent time on each gift, I will admit it was crazy stressful (Jeff can tell you all about this), although this is mainly because I love to procrastinate. All in all, I'd say it was a great Christmas for hand made gifting :)

P.S.: How cool is this photo feature?? Completely unrelated, but check out this 4 in 1 picture of the ingredients we used to make our tamales for Christmas:

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Life Plan

Something I've come to realize in this last year or so as I've just kind of been fumbling through life (career-wise, not personal--that side of my life is always awesome), is that I miss, maybe even need, a structured plan.

Elementary school is elementary school...you're worried about what your mom packed you for lunch, or whether the nuns are going to confiscate your scrunchie because it doesn't conform to the school colors of brown, green, black or white (oh wait, was that just me?).

Junior high you start thinking about what's gonna happen after...and you know you've got four years of high school before you really have to worry about anything else.

High school you start thinking ahead to college, but you have counselors and parents around you telling you what you need to do to get there. Take the SAT. Study and get good grades. You know how many credits you need to graduate, and what classes you need to take to graduate. You fill out college applications, send them out.

College is a more serious version of high school: you have to pick a major, but once you do that, it's all laid out before you: you need x units of general ed, x units towards your major, throw in a foreign language, make sure you get passing grades on all of them, and you're set.

I know, it's a simplistic view of our whole educational life, but bear with me.

I sometimes feel that one of the few reasons I went to law school was because I still needed this plan. I didn't really know what to do next...so I decided to get back into a system that planned things out for me. It planned my next three years. Granted, it got me into a huge financial debt, but I've talked about my woes regarding that already.

But after law school...I feel like I'm completely lost. There's no one telling me what credits I need to complete to move on to the next stage or chapter of my life. And it freaks me the fuck out (sorry mom).

Brookie and I talked about it this week, and it was refreshing to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this. Maybe that's why I finally sat down to share this on my blog, even though I've been meaning to write it for months.

Most people don't need this sort of "planning," and instead thrive on just taking care of things as they come along. I really wish I was more like that (another blog I've been meaning to write is how much I hate my type-A personality sometimes). But alas, I need a plan.

A light bulb went on this morning. I looked for an email my friend Sheena sent me eons ago, with an attachment entitled: "Visioning and Personal Action Plans." TA-DA! She's pretty much been telling me I should do this for over a year, and I kept putting it off. I think it's time.

So. Brookie and I have date: life planning.

Things I want/Music

Interesting title combo, huh?

Well, I want this shirt:

Because this band is amazing. Jeff and I saw them live at a tiny venue next door to Downtown LA, called the Bootleg Theater. We went to go see Gaby Moreno, a guatemalan singer who also kicked ass that night. She was incredibly amazing, and incredibly sweet. Aaaaand, we totally got a picture with her!

She was followed by Jones Street Station, and they were joined on stage by a couple cast members from Community. It was pretty sweet.

And then....The Bright Light Social Hour went on stage. Holy shit. It's like 70's funk, rock and roll, and the blues had a threesome and popped out an amazing baby. I highly recommend seeing them LIVE if you get a chance. Their album is good, but the recording is almost too...clean. Might sounds weird, but if you compare their album to live stuff, you'll know what I mean. My favorites: Detroit (warning, it's SUPER addicting), and Bare Hands, Bare Feet.

So, do yourself a favor and check them out. And buy me the mustache shirt. And grow a crazy mustache like the lead singer.

Holiday Gift Guide, 2011

I had grandiose plans since last year: compiling a massive gift guide the likes of which have never been seen before. But, 1) they pretty much already exist online (not exactly as I had envisioned it, but still, it's been done), and 2) December 2011 came around much quicker than December-2010-me imagined it would.

I also started to realize that a lot of people/organizations have similar gift guides, so I'm going to do a combination here...I'm going to re-post other people's guides that I find useful, and that list some of the organizations I already had in mind, and I'll post my "supplemental" gift guide with other ideas for you. I hope it's helpful :)

Rage Against the Minivan's Gift Guide includes:

• Ever/After Clothing
• Slow Color Scarves (I want!)
• Krochet Kids (future Charity of the Month, for suresies)
• 31 Bits (I think you all know my obsession with them already)
• Not For Sale
• Haitian Creations (this blogger is a woman after my own heart)
• Heart of Haiti at Macy's (beautiful home decor)
• International Rescue Committee
• Leakey Collection Jewelry
• World Vision (HUGE gift catalog...from goats to wells to business loans)
• Whipped body/hair butter (helping raise money for family's adoption)
• Give Prints (looks pretty cool!)
• Compassion International (draught survival kits, playgrounds, soccer balls, etc.)
• Collaborative World (great clothing company--they actually have a gift guide below!)
• Punjamies

Collaborative World's Gift Guide includes:

• Chains for Chains
• 50 Back (it's a beer!)
• Give Prints (link above)
• One Hope Wine
• Project 7
• 31 Bits (link above)
• Unite Clothing

Nicholas Kristoff's Annual Column on "Gifts that Say You Care" includes:

• International Rescue Committee (link above)
• Care (help buy school uniforms for girls)
• Heifer International (great org, prior Charity of the Month)
• Mercy Corps (great user interface! let's you shop by picking who you're shopping for and/or what that person is interested in)
• Helen Keller International
• Against Malaria
• Reading is Fundamental
• The Citizens Foundation
• GEMS

Yahoo Gifts that Give Back include:

• Same Sky Bracelets
• Dannijo jewelry
• Jeans that help kids stay in school
• RxArt coloring book
• Tory Burch gives that give back

My "supplemental gift guide":

(um, I was hoping to link to it but it seems like this will have to do until I switch over to Wordpress and can actually upload PDF documents. sigh).

Holiday Gift Guide

Happy Shopping!

Vote for a Logo!

So, one of the things that's been keeping me too busy to blog about all the things I want to blog about, is trying to market some new business opportunities for Jeff and myself. One of these, which I'm not sure if I've mentioned before (although I'm pretty sure I have), is The Merry Ministers. I've got a basic website set up, but I wanted a pretty cool logo, and my Rama is absolutely amazing that she sent me so many options that I can't chose. So I need your help. Which one do you like the most:

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Exhibit D:

Submit your vote in the comments section :)

Please and thank you!

Charity of the Month: Robin Cheney, aka, 3-day for the Cure

"We walk because we must.

We are strong because the journey demands it.

Together in body and united in spirit we lay down our foot steps for this generation and the next. This is our promise, a world without breast cancer."

I've known Robin for as long as I've known her sister, and her sister and I are celebrating our ten year friendship anniversary this year (yep, the WHOLE YEAR). I think I donated to one of Robin's prior walks years ago (she started back in 2006), but I never really took the time to figure out what it was, other than insane MADNESS. Have you heard of the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure? It's three days. Of walking. 20 miles a day. That's 60 miles in three days. Like I said: insane madness.

Why would someone put themselves through that? Like most things in life, there are usually several reasons why we do things.

For Robin, one reason is that she wants to make a difference in the world. According to the numbers, breast cancer affects one in every eight women. The whole reason Robin first got involved with the 3-day Walk was because she saw a commercial for it, and was deeply moved by the stories of those affected, directly and indirectly, by breast cancer. If you think about it, you probably know someone that's been affected, or know someone that knows someone. Think, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but unfortunately you probably don't need six degrees of separation.

Another reason Robin does it is because it can be "the most positive three days of your life." By committing to this, Robin committed herself to push herself beyond her limits, both physically and mentally. Before her first walk, Robin was not a very active person, and the thought of walking more than from her car to a store seemed crazy to her! But along with a good friend she made the commitment, and put herself through streaneous training sessions, the first of which she quit after two miles. But she stuck to it, and she did again, and again.

What keeps her coming back?

"From the minute you wake up in the morning, perfect strangers are lining the streets cheering you on, sharing their stories and inspiration with you. There are people with t-shirts and signs that say 'Your efforts saved my life' -- and it is true, with the amount of money each event raises (my last San Diego event raised $14 million -- and the 3 Day is in 14 cities!), incredible strides are being made in detection and treatment. And, too, there are times in our lives where we are facing a seemingly insurmountable challenge and then I remind myself that I walked 20 miles a day for three solid days, something I never thought I could do -- three times now! I can certainly deal with the little curve balls life throws me."

Aside from the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of the 3-day walk, is the obvious financial one. One of the main reasons the walk exists is to raise money to help with research, development, awareness, and detection programs for breast cancer. Each participant pledges to raise $2,300.00. That's a lot of money. Especially in these economic times. Robin admits that this is the most challenging part of the 3-day walk: "it is never easy to ask people for money, even for such a worthy cause. It is even more difficult to have to ask a few times, or even to get a response."

I asked Robin why people should donate and help her reach her goal (she's got one week until her race, and needs to raise $1,203 to reach her goal of $2,300), and this was her response:

"I feel that people should donate to the Susan G. Komen foundation because the disease they are combatting is one that affects us all. I look around at the girls in my classroom and think 3 or 4 of them will have breast cancer if we don't find a way to cure, or at least diminish, the rate of this cancer. I have a student who lost her 32-year old aunt to breast cancer. I have a co-worker who lost BOTH parents to breast cancer. The youngest breast cancer survivor on my walk in '08 was only 11 years old. I would challenge anyone to stand in a room with eight women and find that none of them has been personally affected by this disease."

"I walk so that someday, no one has to."

So, can you help Robin?

Do you Flush for Onesies?

Jeff and I visited some friends in Salt Lake City a few years ago, and our host forewarned us that she only flushed the toilet for number two's, so please excuse any pee that you might find upon entering the loo. Okaaaay. Seemed kinda weird, but she mentioned it was more of a water conservation thing than weirdness. I realized it totally made sense.

Let's drop some knowledge on toilets. Before 1994, most residential and commercial toilets used about 3.4 gallons of water per flush. Due to congressional policies, beginning in 1994 toilets began using only 1.6 gallons of water, and now high efficiency toilets use 1.3 gallons of water.

Did you know that 26.7% of your daily residential water use is from using the toilet? That's 26.7% of 350 gallons, the average daily household water use. Let's carry out the math...that's 93.45 gallons of water a day, on flushing your toilet. Think of how many times you flush the toilet just for number onesies. That's a shit-ton of water! (Disclaimer: I don't think "shit-ton" is an actual measurement of any kind. It'd be awesome if it was though).

Total prolonged sidebar: I was amazed when I was in Haiti how little water you really need to shower. I would fill up a 5 gallon bucket of water about 3/4 of the way for bad days, and maybe a little less for days I didn't feel as gross. It's totally enough. Think about how many 5 gallon buckets of water you could fill with the amount of water you use to shower. I tried visualizing it the other day and just gave up. One easy way to cut back is to use the Guatemalan water conservation method. In Guate, you don't have running water all day, so you store up your water in the morning, and use those water deposits throughout the rest of the day. When showering, most people turn off the water when they're soaping up so they don't waste that water, then turn it back on to rinse off. I'll confess that I don't do this: I like having hot water running the whole time...why would I turn it off and freeze while I soap up?! BUT, I should. And I will try to be better about it.

Back to pee.

In searching online, I agree with most people that flushing after a one or two is appropriate when you're at other people's homes (duh), if you have guests, and if you have small children or pets around that are likely to go digging in toilet water.

Aside from those specific concerns, I'd only be worried if it was unsanitary.

On the EPA website with tips for "How to Conserve Water and Use it Effectively," it states: "Toilets should be used only to carry away sanitary waste." The attorney in me would like a definition for "sanitary waste." Does it include urine? According to the Utah Water Quality website, "sanitary waste" is "liquid or solid wastes originating solely from humans and human activities..." Damn.

I searched various phrases relating to "urine" and "sanitation," but most of them involved drinking pee. That's definitely not my concern. One comment mentioned that urine takes 24 hours outside the body before it starts to grow anything. I don't think I go more than 24 hours without flushing our toilet. One comment I thought was pretty funny was someone concerned about the level of ammonia produced by urine, and how letting it sit in your bathroom will make it more difficult to breath (due to the increased levels of ammonia, duh). Maybe s/he has a really small, enclosed bathroom?

My take on this research: it's ok to not flush for onesies, just make sure you flush every now and then.

30 Before 30

I recently saw a pretty cool blog idea where the writer wrote a list of things she wanted to accomplish, and then came back a year later and checked off which ones she had done, adding a link to her blog post of said activity. I thought I would do the same...and then I started thinking...it's already November...by next November, I'll be on the eve of my 30th birthday (by "eve," I mean about four months away...if you know my husband, ask him a funny story about this). I also saw a friend who did a "30 before 30" list: things she wanted to accomplish before turning 30 (am I insulting your intelligence? pretty self explanatory?) So, why not combine my list of things I want to accomplish with this little, minor, not-a-big deal birth year and make it into a 30 before 30? I found no good reason not to, so here we go. Let's see if I can find 30 things I want to do...

I want to:

1. First and foremost, I want to be settled into a job. No more uncertainty of what I'm doing...whether it's working somewhere, or working on my own, I want it to be legit, I want to be able to get pregnant if we decide we're ready, I want to have health insurance, I want to feel financially....hmmm....not-on-the-verge-of-being-broke? I know this is a lot for #1, but I think they all are part of one big package.
2. Travel. There are too many places I want to go to: Germany (Mike, Uli & Hank!), Spain (Isa!), Hawaii (again, self-explanatory, but I want to be consistent with the parenthesis), Guatemala (grandma), Haiti (self explanatory). I'm not expecting all of these to happen before I turn 30. I'd be happy with one or two.
3. Become serious about some sort of work out: whether it be walking/hiking, or picking up rock climbing again, which I miss doing.
4. Develop my blog. This includes moving to Wordpress, as well as figuring out how to make Adsense make me more money. I think since I started blogging two years ago (almost exactly!), I've made about $12 bucks. I'm not saying I'm not happy with my earnings...but I'm also not saying I wouldn't mind more. I just need to figure out how to do that without changing what I write about or plastering my blog with ads.
5. Develop Jeff's art: portfolio, more art shows, website, you name it.
6. Earn my blue shirt from Corazon
7. Make it to Arizona to visit Courtney (this I technically want to cross off my list early in the year)
8. Develop Haiti Scholarships into a successful nonprofit
9. Jump out of a plane
10. Go camping
11. Go wine tasting
12. Eat healthier, regularly
13. Travel to Portland or Seattle
14. Learn to say no, when necessary
15. Have a romantic getaway weekend with Jeff (we've been talking about going to Solvang for a while now)

Hmm. I'm about 15 accomplishments short of 30.

I guess I could fill it in with 15 things I want to have before I turn 30...but that's too materialistic to be a serious goal.

Suggestions?

DIY Craft Time, Part II

The Gang went to a Halloween party, wherein we took advantage of a very cool photo booth. I realized that I haven't had printed pictures in quite a while, and these came out so cool, that I wanted to frame them. I did some research online, which made me realize they don't sell what I want, but gave me an idea on how to do it on my own.

So. Craft time!

One of my big flaws is that I lack a desire for perfection. So the edges could have been cut a little cleaner, and the fabric could have been pulled a little tighter...and I probably should have made it out of a sturdier material...(all of this is probably making Busta want to pull her hair out...I'M SORRY!). But, it made me realize that I can be crafty and creative if I want to be. And, occasionally, I can make some pretty cool looking stuff.

Long live Halloween, 2011.

DIY Craft Time, Part I

Like most things I do, my new hobby became an obsession until I finished it on Sunday.

It's not perfect, and if you look at the corners you can definitely tell where I ran in to some trouble, but for my first attempt, I don't think it turned out too shabby!

I got the idea to keep the craftiness going by making my own wrapping paper. So, I went out and got some materials.

I tried to make free-hand circles out of the colored paper, and realized I have no talent for this. Fear not, I walked around Dad's garage and found a few useful items that I could trace.

Oh hey, what's that bottle at the front?

I'm not sure. The 30% and "rum" seem to be a pretty clear indication it's alcohol. But the panties down, naked lady alone thing makes me wonder if I'm wrong. Or really great/creepy marketing.

Anyhow, I digress.

The end result was this:

The gold ribbon on the wrapping was supposed to be the ribbon on the blanket, but it was way too rough for a little baby blanket. Apparently, they don't make gold-colored silk ribbon. Who knew.

As a side note: blogs in the future, including this one, will probably have too many unnecessary pictures (such as four pictures of the completed blankie), but Jeff and I both get a little carried away with testing out the new camera :)

October Charity of the Month: Taller San Jose

I’ve driven by it dozens of times, either on my way to PLC when I volunteered there throughout law school, or now on sporadic trips to the Central Justice Center for court hearings. I had a vague idea about what they did, but based on the name alone I knew it had to be pretty awesome. I kept putting it off though, until they were featured by FLOC last month. I figured, it’s a sign! So, a day late, here's a little write up of what I found out.

In Spanish, a “taller” is a workshop, “a place to build and repair things.” And San Jose is Spanish for Saint Joseph, who’s the patron saint of workers.

Now that we’ve got the lingo down, let’s get down the business. What does Taller San Jose (“TSJ”) do? Simple: it walks young people in Orange County out of poverty. How do they do this? It’s actually not-so-simple.

In the words of TSJ’s Executive Director, Shawna Smith, one of the main jobs of the staff of TSJ is to fan what little hope these young individuals have when they walk through the lobby of the quaint Santa Ana location. In a short amount of time, these young individuals know that people care for them, that people mean it when they say “I care about you and your success,” that someone has their back. Many of these individuals come to TSJ with troubled pasts, difficult financial situations at home, and who knows what else. Letting them know that their goals are important, that they are a person with dignity, and that their life is important, is not easy. Most of us take these things for granted: I have a mother who made these things clear to me, and I grew up in an environment that led me to believe I could be anything I wanted to be. This is not the situation for many of the participants of the programs at TSJ.

“You mean I’m worth more than a minimum wage job? Woah.”

During my tour of their offsite facility where construction classes are held, I had an opportunity to hear from Scott, who has become a leader in his classroom, and has maintained perfect attendance throughout his program: “I feel like I can do something now, I can go out and get a job. If it wasn’t for this program, I’d probably still be doing drugs.” That’s an amazing and powerful statement for this organization, and only one of over 4,500 people that this organization has served since it opened its doors in 1995. I’m sure this is what Shawna noticed when she joined TSJ back in 1997, and her future career as a teacher went out the window: “I just felt called to serve.”

Back when Shawna first joined TSJ, it looked a little different than it does today. The program was centered around a high school completion program, with a carpentry program that taught students how to make benches, custom cabinetry and entertainment centers. Around 2005, TSJ realized there was a better way to help create long term success for it’s students: it began to emphasize more on job placement, and a little less on high school completion programs. Why? “For a young person who has an economic need, they don’t have four years to commit to just sitting in a high school classroom.” So they started to focus more on job training and job placement, while still helping their students complete high school if they hadn’t completed it yet.

This shift, however, had a huge impact on who they could serve: “Before, we had a much greater tolerance for serving kids without papers. When we switched to the workforce, we had to ask for papers. This was a huge ideological shift, one that we still struggle with: these kids look the same, they talk the same, they go to the same schools. But we can’t broker employment if we know they’re undocumented, and their opportunities for advancement [within our program] are so limited: we don’t want to set them up with unrealistic expectations, that just tears a person down.”

Although TSJ had to turn away some who are just as needy as others, it’s done a fantastic job of perfecting a program to ensure that those it does serve, are served well. For example, recognizing that most of their students can’t go to classes and miss an opportunity to earn money to cover expenses at home, TSJ students earn a $100 weekly stipend, and TSJ provides vouchers for transportation and child care.

TSJ operates through three different academies:

• Medical Careers Academy: training for administrative office and entry-level clinical positions in healthcare

• Office Careers Academy: training for administrative positions

• Taller Tech Construction Academy: training for the construction industry

• 

Of these, Shawna admits that the construction academy is usually the most appealing, or “sexy” to people; it’s harder to look at the office programs and realize what’s going on: there is a level of sophistication involved in a working environment and being in a professional setting.

Regardless of the Academy that each individual goes into, TSJ is doing much more than just providing an academic training. TSJ has set 7 goals for each student:

1. Obtain a GED or high school diploma
2. Master basic computer skills
3. Open and use a bank account
4. Obtain a driver’s license
5. Register to vote
6. Remain crime and drug free
7. Obtain a job at better than minimum wage

The last one is probably the most challenging in our economic times, and one that I found really interesting. There is a difference between a minimum wage, and a living wage. In California, the minimum wage is $8.00 an hour, but the living wage in Orange County is more like $16.00 (California Budget Project, 2010). I love that this program focuses not on the minimum allowed by regulations, but on the reality of the financial needs of individuals in the specific geographic location they live in.

Given the financial downturn, TSJ has made a few adjustments to help their students and alumni find and maintain jobs. For one, they have created jobs themselves through the Hope Builders program. For another, they are creating new programs in areas where there is a new need. For example, within the construction program TSJ has started to offer a 40 hour training on solar panels, recognizing a field that may have increased need in the future. Seeing growth in the medical industry, TSJ is also implementing new programs in the medical academy, such as billing and coding.

Another change has been to make the program more of a 2-year program than a 16-week program: rather than classes to provide a specific skill set in an area, TSJ offers courses on writing resumes, mock interviews, job coaching, personal development workshops on financial literacy, healthy relationships, etc. TSJ checks in with each student at specific intervals throughout the 2-year program, to make sure the student is still on track, and working towards completing the 7 goals listed above.

The hope is that these changes will allow their graduates to find a job, and help them keep it.

The results of TSJ’s holistic approach are pretty amazing. 70% of students remain employed one year after graduation. And, my favorite statistic, only 8% of students with a criminal background are re-arrested (meaning that 92% of students do not reoffend). In California, the rate of recidivism is around 70%. Pretty cool, right?

Shawna originally switched from the original non-profit she was working with to TSJ because she wanted to work in an organization that was effectuating change. Based on the programs she’s helped start, and the effect they’re having on the lives of hundreds of individuals, I’d say her and TSJ are doing pretty well!

Hopefully you’ve stuck around long enough to get to my favorite part: how you can get involved!

• Volunteer to conduct mock interviews and job readiness preparation with TSJ students. Although they’d understandably prefer that you be employed if you want to volunteer in this area, you don’t need any particular education or experience to do this. As long as you can provide meaningful feedback to the students, you’re in! Come once a month, or once a year, it’s up to you.

• Facilitate workshops for students: if you have experience regarding safety in the workplace, customer service, etc., come talk to TSJ students about it!

• Join a committee! TSJ has committees for special events, program development, etc.

• Financial donations, of course, are always welcome. Like any other non profit, although the work they do is incredible, it’s still a business that requires money to keep it going.

• Tell others about TSJ. Shawna mentioned this has been the key to staying afloat since the inception of TSJ. Especially in Orange County, it’s easy for people to go to work, come home, park in the garage, turn on the TV, and never know about the level of financial need that people within Orange County have. So, go out there and tell them :)

An immense thank you shout out to Shawna, who dedicated more time than I’m sure she had available to entertain my questions, to Liana for coordinating my tour through their facilities and putting me in contact with Shawna, and to my tour guide, who provided so much helpful information.

New Hobby

Row 3: Ch 3 (counts as first dc), turn;

2 dc in same st, skip next 2 dc, sc in next 5dc,

(5 dc in next sc, skip next 2 dc, sc in next dc)

across to last 3 sts, skip next 2 dc, 3 dc in last sc:

86 dc and 17 sc

Row 4: Ch 1, turn; sc in first dc

(5 dc in next sc, skip next 2 dc, sc in next dc) across:

85 dc and 18 sc

What does all of this mean?

It took me a while to figure out....but it leads to this:

The Day I got Two Letters

Last week, an old college buddy invited me to participate as a speaker in a career fair at his school in downtown LA. I confessed to Jeff that this has been something of a bucket list item for me: I've always wanted to participate, or be asked to participate, in a career day at a school. I'm not sure why. Maybe it makes me feel better about spending so much time and money on my education. Maybe it helps my self-esteem a little bit. Whatever the reason, I obviously said yes.

So I went. I tried to find a balance between: follow your dreams, but don't be stupid about thinking you're going to become a millionaire just because you invest tons of money into a degree. If it's your dream, do it. If you just want to make money, think it through. I'm not sure how much of this made sense to them, or if they even cared, but at least it was good practice for my public speaking skills.

On her way out, one girl dropped a note on the table in front of me. It was folded in that way that you fold all notes that you pass in class in high school. The outside said:

"To: you

From: [her name]"

I liked the "you."

Then I opened it.

"Hey there well i don't know your name but it seems like you're

a good person. My point is if you can help us we've been here in CA for 12 or 11 years we are not citizens or nothing. Well to tell you a little background when i was 2 or 3 years old i came here illegally hope you don't take us back to Mexico. me and my dad and some friends were brought here first then they brought my mom. anyway can you help us fix our papers only me and my parents where born in Mex. My bros and sis were born here....Please help us I don't want this to affect me when i get to college :) please call. oh i'm a freshman

ABOUT ME!

well i like art. i want to have 2 jobs when i grow up

my dad never finds a job

my mom takes care of my bros

want to know more write back or you can come pull me out of clase! please"

My first reaction was, wow, someone is asking ME for help, and there's a possibility that I can help them. That's an amazing feeling.

But then I think more about it, and it makes me a little angry. It sucks that this freshman in high school is already worried about whether she'll be able to go to college or not, because her parents brought her here illegally when she was a baby. That sucks. That really sucks. And who should have to dream about having two jobs just to have stability?

I read it again later, and then realized she asked me to pull her out of class, and I had to laugh. So typical of being in high school: hey, here's this super serious issue I have, can I use it to ditch my next class? I'm not saying the only reason she wrote to me was to get out of class, but I think it's hilarious that she took the opportunity to try to get out of class :)

I haven't had a chance to call her yet, but I will. I'm thinking if her parents haven't fixed their situation yet, it's probably because they can't. But it's worth finding out if money is the only thing holding them back or not.

After that, I went to a book club meeting, and then I finally went home. And there I found these:

Along with my second letter of the day. It was a card from Jeff. The front says "incredible." The inside text says: "to listen deeply, love without limits, and live with intention. you inspire me to be more." Jeff added:

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart. I am sure all your hard work will pay off. Just keep being you. My caring, focused, over planning beautiful wife. No matter what any one else says, I know you will figure it out."

I'm not sure what I did to deserve him, but I'm so happy I have him in my life.

Days like that day, and words like those words, help me believe that my semi-unconventional path is a-ok.

Discussions on Development: Latinoamerica

Calle 13: Latinoamerica

(radio transmission, indigenous language)

I am
I am what they left
I'm the leftovers of what was stolen.
A village hidden on the peak,
My skin is made of leather that's why it stands any weather.
I'm a factory of smoke,
A peasant work of art for your consumption
In the middle of summer, frente de frio en el medio del verano
Love in the Time of Cholera, my brother.
I am the one that is born and the day he dies
with the best sun sets
I am development in flesh and blood
a political discourse without saliva.
The most beautiful faces I've met,
I'm the photograph of a missing person.
I'm the blood inside your veins,
I'm a piece of land that is worth it.
I'm a basket with beans,
I'm Maradona against England scoring 2 goals.
I'm what that holds my flag,
the backbone of my planet, is my mountain range
I'm what that my father taught me,
Who doesn't love his country doesn't love his mother.
I'm Latin America, a people without legs but that walk

Listen

You can't buy the wind.
You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.
You can't buy the heat.
You can't buy the clouds.
You can't buy the colors.
You can't buy my happiness.
You can't buy my pains.

(repeated)

I have the lakes, I have the rivers.
I have my teeth for when I smile.
The snow that beautifies my mountains.
I have the sun that dries me and the rain that washes me
A desert intoxicated with peyote

A drink of pulque
To sing with the coyotes

All that I need.

I have my lungs breathing clear blue,
The height that suffocates
I'm the molars of my mouth chewing coca.
Autumn with its fainted leaves
The verses written under the starry night
A vineyard filled with grapes.
A sugar cane plantation under the Cuban sun. sun in cuba
I'm the Caribbean Sea that watches over the little houses,
Making rituals of holy water.
The wind that combs my hair
I'm all the saints that hang from my neck.
The juice of my struggle is not artificial,
Because the fertilizer of my land is natural.

You can't buy the wind.
You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.
You can't buy the heat.
You can't buy the clouds.
You can't buy the colors.
You can't buy my happiness.
You can't buy my pains.
(in purtuguese)
You can't buy the wind.
You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.
You can't buy the heat.
You can't buy the clouds.
You can't buy the colors.
You can't buy my happiness.
You can't buy my sadness.

You can't buy the sun.
You can't buy the rain.

we are walking

we are walking

we are drawing the way

we are walking

You can't buy my life.
MY LAND IS NOT FOR SALE.

I work hard but with pride,
Here we share, what's mine is yours.
This town doesn't drown with big waves.
And if it collapses I will rebuild it.
I don't blink either when I see you
So that you remember my surname.
Operation Condor invading my nest.
I forgive but I'll never forget, listen

(we are walking)
Here we breath struggle
(we are walking)

I sing because you can hear it

we are drawing the way

Here we are on our feet

Long live Latin America.

You can't buy my life.

(most of the translation obtained here)

Music Corner: Random Songs

Here are a few random songs I've enjoyed (not uber exciting discoveries, but I thought I'd pass them along anyway).

Fun: We are young.

I hated the actual video. So this had to do.

Washed Out.

Beatriz Luengo: Como tu no hay dos

Can I just say, I absolutely LOVE when musical instruments are used as props...ha.

Things I want: Shoes

TOMS Classic Red.

Reef Guatemalan threads.

How I will get them: I plan on figuring out how to set up art shows for Jeff at the Santa Ana downtown art walk, and the LA art walk. Then he'll HAVE to buy them for me :)

Getting it Right

These past two weeks have been pretty great. I've received some comments lately that have reinforced where I'm going with my life, and make me feel like I'm doing something right. Maybe not everything, but something.

Abby contacted me about looking for volunteer work for her daughter. I know, this isn't huge, and I'm sure she could have just looked something up online, but...she asked me. I was her go-to person, and I thought that was pretty fabulous.

A couple days after that, I got a message from someone I went to undergrad with. He's now doing some pretty great things, including working towards a Ph.D. He's part of an organization at his school that does some community service projects, and he messaged me asking about some of the organizations I have worked with. We still have to chat a little about what he needs/is looking for, but again...he thought about and contact me when needed to talk to someone about this.

Then, my friend Annie posted this on my wall (not the actual wall of my room...but you know...the cyber kind of wall):

"I was just thinking...Steve Jobs started Apple out in his garage and now, its this incredible company changing the lives of so many people in the world (not to mention, he was the CEO of Pixar, movies I love). If he can do it, I know you can too. Go make your dreams a reality, Alex! I am here every step of the way to support you! Love you!"

Seriously? Amazing.

Finally, yesterday after tutoring I stopped by my mom's house for a little visit. Her work has these jobs once a year where nonprofits and charitable organizations come out, and try to get you to donate a couple bucks from each of your paychecks to them. My mom picked up a book for me, as well as some other material from a nonprofit called "Zambia's Scholarship Fund." Inside the book was the business card for the President of the organization, and a handwritten dedication:

"Alexandra, thanks for your good works."

All of this has been almost surreal, to be quite honest. I feel really happy that when people want to participate in volunteer work or charity work, I'm the person that pops into their head. I guess part of it is because sometimes I feel guilty or silly about all the stuff I post on here and facebook about this kind of stuff...I feel like it may not really matter, or that no one really cares. Getting these messages from people, however, makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing.

I feel like I should add a disclaimer here. I'm not sharing these vignettes because I think they're right, or because I think I deserve it, but because it is really encouraging, and gives me hope that I'm on the right path. Sometimes I feel like I've let people down by not pursuing a traditional legal career, or any traditional career. Hearing these comments and getting these emails/messages from people helped me realize that I'll be okay no matter what. Regardless of what nonconventional path I follow, I have people who are interested in what I do, people who will support me and my endeavors, and people who appreciate the kind of work I hope to keep doing.

Thank you :)

Growth Spurts

I had a 2-3 month hiatus from my tutoring family, from May to July-ish. Between my oddly hectic schedule, and them flying off the Spain and Ireland for the Summer, it was easier to just cancel things for a while.

As soon as they started school though, I got the text asking if I wanted to keep tutoring this year. HELLS TO THE YEAH. That was my response.

So a few weeks ago I drove to their house for the first time in what felt like ages. I was not ready for what was about to go down.

When the door opened, their youngest was there, and said (very clearly) "hello." "Oh, are you talking now?" "Yes." WTF?! How did this little boy go from being a tiny little baby, who was kinda stumbling around, to walking very steadily and blurting out full coherent lines, and understanding everything I said?

Then the second to youngest peeps his head from around the corner (he's always hiding from me...I haven't figured out why yet). It seems like he had a make over this Summer, and is sporting a completely new look. A look that makes him look like a little boy instead of a toddler.

I seriously felt like it had been at least a year since I'd seen them, based on their current appearance. I know...kids grow fast...but still...this felt insane.

The best part was when we sat at the dinner table. Remember how the second to youngest (I'm gonna have to come up with nicknames for them pretty soon..) used to say the prayer before dinner? It would kinda be semi-coherent, and the parents would help out. Well, he can say it perfectly clear now. And the youngest has taken his place: he now asks to say the blessing each time, and fumbles his way to the end. I felt a strange sense of deja-vu :)

I love seeing each of these children through their various phases of growing up. I really hope I can continue to be a part of this amazing family years after they no longer need a tutor.

Related posts:

Amen!

Kids make the world go round

Discussion on Development: I have never paid the full price for a cup of coffee

Guest post by Mike Goldstein

Alex asked me to write a blog post about what to do in Haiti and that's turned out to be a really fucking complicated task. Haiti is such a persistent source of frustration, anxiety and astonishment to the world that Haiti is not just Haiti the place. We can't look at it that way anymore because it's clearly something more profound to us. It matters to us, it has its hooks in us. So I'm trying to go about exploring what Haiti is by starting with what it represents psychologically. That is, assuming we manifest this, what personal characteristic is dark enough to be Haiti, and what kind of person are we humans?

Well, I think it's this: I think we're an addict with a profound sense of guilt and also a profound morality. I think we're afraid of dealing with what's real, so we cope through addiction, which hurts us and others. Guilt is the pain that demands we reconcile our actions with our morality. And that's Haiti.

How does this translate. We are addicted to buying things for our comfort and security. But in our system, things need to be affordable. Though slavery was outlawed in the US, the exploitation didn't disappear - it had to go somewhere, so it went offshore to Haiti and other spots in the developing world. But it's the same concept: workers make less money than they're owed so that our products are affordable. Their muscles pay the difference, and we also draw against the land. It's the suffering of which we spare ourselves the sight. I've never paid the full price for a cup of coffee.

But we have a sense of this pain and we want to stop it because we're moral - though with one hand we buy the thing that requires their underpaid labor, with the other we try to help.

The best minds have attempted to cure this, but despite the world's well-wishes, prayers, money and work, Haiti is still slow to heal. It hints at a disconnect - if we keep doing what we're doing we will never reconcile our comfort with our morality. The story we normally tell ourselves about ourselves is incomplete because it doesn't include the damage that eventually comes of our addiction.

After traveling the world I've come to some conclusions, one of which is the following: It's a myth that the US has done something right and that Haiti has done something wrong. The comfort we experience is not the result of a superior system. In fact, our system is not our system, it's THE system, it's the global system. We sit at the top of a wheel and siphon wealth from the unlucky places at the bottom.

--

When I was younger it was easy to proclaim that we needed to crash the system because I knew that it would never happen so I could never be proven wrong. Pretty safe position to take. Now, though, I guess it feels a little closer at hand, intentional or not. So while I don't think the following can be prescribed, I present it as my vision of a healthy society and, therefore, the tack I've started taking with my own life (where applicable). My feeling is that we might as well adopt it sooner rather than later because it'll probably happen at some point anyway.

So, I imagine the alternative to material accumulation is a kind of mutualism, in which our actions, relationships and exchanges are mutually beneficial. Here's what a mutualist paradigm might suggest for Haiti and for the US:

1) An emphasis on wisdom in the education system, from the in-body perspective. For some weird reason we're building schools in Haiti and encouraging them to follow our lead. Our education system doesn't even work that great here. It trains people for uninspired careers in a global economy that's teetering.

- Both places should emphasize physical, emotional and spiritual health based on our relationship with the natural world. There should be a focus on nature and natural phenomena (how to slaughter a chicken, how to save seeds, how to hunt, how to make medicine, etc.) and it should be more guided than taught - let kids follow their interest. "In-body" means subjective experience. That is to say, we should give the in-body experience precedence over external authority. For example, science might tell Haitians that Voodoo doesn't exist. Fuck that.

- The value of the internet to the planet's shared wisdom can't be overstated. In Haiti, getting everyone access to the internet should be one of the top priorities. I feel the best thing we can do for Haiti is give them access to the accumulated global knowledge.

- Another idea would be to foster mentorship within a community (which is to say, education does not need to be confined to schools).

2) An emphasis on localizing economies, governments, families and food systems. This reflects a focus on the real (food, touch, etc) instead of the abstract (money, nationalism, etc). This is a matter of being sensitive within ourselves, our relationships and the place we live. With each layer of abstraction we remove, we remove a depth of exploitation. As our current political climate reveals, anybody can say anything. Words are a technology that can be used for good or bad, so any systemic narratives that don't place a person at the center of his or her world should be dissolved. In practice this means starting (and patronizing) small businesses, giving preference to community problem-solving, and transitioning to local food production.

3) An emphasis on earth systems, which means food forests (permaculture), stream reclamation, etc. It's urgent that Haiti build up its topsoil. This can be done by re-introducing native plants and trees that had lived in equilibrium (permaculture) for the millennia before the French started exploiting the land. Haiti needs trees before the oil runs out. If they can't establish a way to feed themselves by the time transport stops, they're going to be seriously fucked (as will many of us). Though this might seem unnecessarily apocalypse-minded, answer me these questions: how long does it take for a forest to grow back from nothing? How many more years can we count on cheap oil to transport food around the world? I don't know the answers, but at least I'm being alarmist. What this emphasis on earth systems means for the US is ripping up our shaved-vagina front lawns and putting in food plants, for gods' sake.

3a) Remove extraneous luxuries. Our western culture needs to engage with the life-death cycle (death being the reality we avoid through addiction). (I don't know about the Haitian relationship with death.) We've been convinced that death is a bad thing, and as long as that's the case we can be controlled by the threat of death. I think even those of us who think we are ok with death would discover the opposite if we inspected our actions (just as every single one of us agrees that money doesn't buy happiness, yet many of us continue to labor as if it does). As essential as it is that Haiti resoil its land, it's just as essential that we lower our expectations for comfort. There's not enough material on this earth for every person to live like a middle-class westerner. I just made that fact up, but I'll bet it's true. In practice this means seeing how it feels to remove extraneous luxuries. How low can you go?

4) Parent no more than one child! This one is mind-bogglingly simple to me, but there's such ego around it that it's taboo. How long would it take for us to halve the population? Fifty years? The strain on our planet is more a matter of quantity than quality. I see this issue as a relative of 3a - as afraid as we are of death, we are equally stubborn about our right to procreate prolifically. I'll bet this is always a linear relationship. In developing countries this probably means continuing to provide access to birth control and sex education, but shit, you know, how's that going? Again, this large-scale stuff can't be prescribed, so we just have to practice it ourselves and talk openly about it. For the US this means getting used to a lot more oral and anal sex.

5) Justice. I have no idea how to accomplish this one, but I think the biggest problem in Haiti is actually the lack of justice that puts people at the mercy of gangs and criminals. There's a combination of fear and loyalty that seems to stall the system. Loyalty is the opposite of justice - remember that, kids. I have no idea what the real-life prescription would be for Haiti, probably a focus on anti-corruption. In our justice system I'd start with reassessing the correlation between drugs and damage.

I know this has been a long-winded answer, but you gotta write something, right? So, in a nutshell, I don't think the Haitians will have a chance at large-scale, sustainable health until their strength comes from the inside and the world stops messing with it. There are dozens of NGOs doing good things on a small scale in Haiti. Unfortunately there are thousands of NGOs there right now. Maybe we should all take a break. Give Haiti two years without any internal NGOs (except maybe some internet installation and medical groups), then let them invite us back one-by-one according to what they determine their need to be. There would be chaos, but shit has to hit the fan sometime. I don't know if it's helping to give them just enough support to keep them alive.

(I feel like I should leave you with a light-hearted message.)

Ultimately, though, the work we're doing there is an ineffective bandage as long as we continue paying people to cut them.

(yikes, that didn't work.)
Some links you might enjoy!
Kurt Vonnegut on addiction and the system

Addiction explained

Video about fear of death

Food forest in Vietnam

A guide to safe anal sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A huge thanks to Mike for being the first guest blogger on the Discussion on Development section of this blog!

I love that Mike wrote about this, because I really hadn't thought about my impact when I buy stuff, and that's a damn shame. Shortly after Mike emailed me his first draft, I went to Target and bought a great little sweater, for $6.00. I was stoked on the price, obviously. But then I thought about what Mike wrote, and I thought to myself, "huh, how much did the person who made this actually get paid?" I mean, you've got over head costs you have to figure in to this six dollars: lease, electricity, shipping, customs, not to mention you're paying the people at Target who stock and run the cash register (to name but a few of the expenses). Now, I know these sweaters are a dime a dozen, so the cost spread out across thousands of sweaters is probably relatively low. But that means someone is probably working under intense pressure to make as many sweaters as they can to meet a quota or to earn enough money off of each sweater they make, so they can put food on the table. Food for thought.

A couple more links I find appropriate:

How Many Slaves Work for You?

TED Talk: How to Combat Modern Slavery

Little Updates: A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Well, we finished moving and are completely settled in to our new home with Jeff's parents. For any who were curious, it's going really well. His parents are wonderful and easy to live with. It was weird at first just getting used to having roommates again, so I can't make Jeff's coffee in my PJ's (underwear...), but all of that is pretty minor. We really like our new room; in fact, we kinda like it better than the room from our apartment! Jeff's mom let me have the desk they had in the living room, which is pretty amazing. It has little cubbies for all my office/work stuff, and a drawer with a filing cabinet (nerd), and it's pretty amazing.

I still haven't quite figured out my productivity schedule. I'm up by 7:30am, which is when I make coffee for Jeff, make sure he's out of bed and on his way to work. It's not that he asks for me to wake up and make his coffee, but I just wake up at that time anyway. I can't seem to sleep in past 7...ever (except for Sunday, but that's because I was up on Saturday at 3:40am, and was in 100 degree heat all day...), so might as well get up and be productive. Anyhow, I check emails and my reader, maybe listen to a webinar from CharityHowTo or the Foundation Center, pick up the room a little, and then I either procrastinate by working on random projects (like doing cross stitch on an old blanket that's falling apart), or I try to get some work done on my cases. I really need to get better on focusing on the latter.

It's been pretty amazing though, this whole, "working on my own" thing. I can meet clients whenever I want, I can work on their stuff whenever I want, I can have lunch with friends whenever I want, I can book myself for volunteer events whenever I want.

I did apply for a part-time volunteer coordinator position at a non-profit that is literally 1.5 miles from our house. It doesn't pay much, but it would be great to work in something that I really want to acquire some skills and experience in, and also have a steady paycheck while I wait for clients to pay me. The organization looks amazing, and one that I'd like to be involved in over the long-term if things work out, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We were finally able to buy Jeff the camera he's been wanting (Nikon D7000), and he got an amazing flash and lens for it (we had to return the lens because the automatic focus didn't work, hopefully we get a new one back soon). He's got two small weddings that he's already booked for this month, so we're hoping that will be an additional source of revenue for us. As for my wedding officiant business, I had one wedding last month in Spanish, and I've got two booked for this month. Our free Google advertising dried up, so I'm gonna have to invest some real money into our website if I want to keep getting leads. Seems like it's worth it so far.

So, between wedding ceremonies, legal cases, wedding photography, Jeff's steady work...I think we might be pulling it off finally. Which has me really worried. So far, our life has always been a bit of give and take: something great happens, then something else happens to even things out, and we land exactly where we were before that great thing happened. So here we are, not having to pay rent, with some steady and unsteady flows of income...to the point where we can save and invest in things...and I'm honestly nervous about what's around the corner. I feel like something has to happen to even things out again, there's too much good going on right now.

I hope I'm wrong. I really, really hope I'm wrong. Because seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is kinda nice.