Unplugging.

Aside from coffee, I've never been addicted to anything. The only time I actually had a cigarette between my lips was as a prop for a White Trash Birthday Bash (and yes, I won the Trailer Park Queen award, a-thank-ya-very-much!), and it wasn't even lit.

Again, caffeine headaches aside, I didn't know what addiction or withdrawal symptoms felt like. Until this week. Google "technology addiction." Scary stuff out there, people.

So I wrote how I'm trying to disconnect myself a little more from my cell phone, and in my last blog about this I wrote how I was going to stop using my phone while driving, as well as sleeping next to my phone. At the expense of again sounding ridiculous (I realize this), the first few days were pretty tough! That first night I drove home and made a conscious effort to not look at my phone while driving or to entertain myself at red lights, I had to really be conscious of not picking up my phone, I had to work very hard at not thinking about my phone. Kinda scary. But, it's gotten easier as the days go by.

As far as not sleeping next to my phone, it's really not that big of a deal, but I do get a little bored in the mornings. I usually wake up way before Jeff's alarm goes off, so normally I check Facebook or Twitter during that time. Without my phone to entertain me, all I have is my thoughts. Those can be pretty useless at 6am. But, I'm managing. I'm thinking instead of just laying in bed, I'll start getting out of bed and going for an early morning walk. We'll see how that works.

On Wednesday night, as Jeff and I were in the living room with his parents watching American Idol (helloooooo Phillip Phillips), I decided what my next step was: not using my phone after dinner when the family is hanging out. I mean, I don't need TV AND my cell phone to entertain me, do I? So I told myself no more catching up on Words with Friends and Draw Something while I have Jeff right next to me to talk to.

Which led me to...not using Words with Friends or Draw Something at all. They're both neat apps, but the reality is that they make me more anxious than happy. Has so-and-so played me yet? Dammit, I need at least a 30-point word. How do I draw Beyonce? Hospital, again.

Performance anxiety aside, they don't really promote contact with the person I'm playing with. I'm usually not having a conversation with them, and drawing randomly selected items on a phone is not going to tell me anything about what or how they're doing.

So, I've decided to delete both apps from my phone. It'll give me more time to focus on the things I need to focus on, and less time stressing out about my next move.k

To my friends on Draw Something and Words with Friends: it's been real. I've learned some new words that I didn't even know existed, and learned that you can convey almost anything with stick figures. Certainly life lessons worth learning!

Speaking of unplugging, saw this campaign on billboards in LA today. I like. STOP PLAYING VIDEOGAMES AND GET OUTSIDE.

Technology and the Demise of Human Relationships

When I go on longer drives, I like to find a couple good TED talks that I can listen to while I drive. On Wednesday, I heard one that really struck a chord.

The talk was by Sherry Turkle, and titled "Connected, but alone?". At almost twenty minutes it's one of the longer TED talks, but I highly recommend watching it. Turkle brought up some interesting points that I've thought about (especially robots being the demise of humans--fine, she doesn't make that exact point, but she's implying it).

One great point she made is that technology gadgets have made us uncomfortable with being "alone." To the point that we (or I) lunge towards our phones for company. Turkle mentioned grocery lines and red lights. Guilty and guilty. The red light thing is something I realized a couple months ago. I got to the point where I couldn't sit at a red light without checking my phone and trying to find something to interest me. When did I become bored with the people, cars, streets, homes, schools, stores, pedestrians, etc., that surround me? At some point, I felt the need to rush to my phone for entertainment for every second of down time.

I also latch on to my phone when I'm standing in line somewhere. I'm not sure why I feel awkward just standing there. Maybe it's to avoid awkward glances or interactions with strangers. But the status I'm reading on Facebook might as well come from strangers, it's not like I've seen most of them in a few years anyway.

Another great point Turkle made is how we prefer interactions via technology, as opposed to human interaction (in person or even on a phone conversation instead of texting) because we can "edit" ourselves: we can change, draft, delete, and perfect. We can present ourselves as we want others to see us. We can keep the bad to ourselves, and present only the shiny, cool, interesting. I often have to remind myself that people (usually) only post the great or fun stuff that happens in their life, and that I shouldn't be jealous of the great trips, excursions, outings, etc. that they are enjoying at any specific time. I have those too. Just not at exactly the same time that they are. And they have shitty moments just like I do: they have to work, make a living, deal with the mundane of every day life. Sure, some of them take more trips than I do...but that's for another discussion (socialism!) ;)

I decided that I fall into too many of the scenarios that Turkle mentions in her talk. Now that Lent is over and I no longer have to say "no" to chocolate, I'm choosing to wean myself off of my phone. Not that I'm going to give it up entirely (ha!), but I want to be better about being in the now, being aware of what's around me, and not focus so much on being "connected" to people who's lives and whereabouts have absolutely zero effect on my life and happiness.

I started last week by doing really simple little things, like leaving my phone in our room when we're in the living room, or leaving my phone at home when we go on evening walks. Today I took a big step: no phone while driving. "Hey, isn't there a law in California about using your phone while driving?" Yeah. Most people still do it, and I'm probably one of the worst offenders. Especially at red lights. When I was done with tutoring tonight, I challenged myself to not look at my phone at all during the drive home. I realize to some of you this probably sounds ridiculous. It is. But at least I realize I have a ridiculous problem that needs to be addressed. And for some reason this blog allows me to feel ok sharing my ridiculousness with all of you.

Anyhow, I made it home without looking at my phone. Instead, I sang along to the radio, belted out a few good ones, searched for better ones, looked around me, and had a thoroughly enjoyable ride home.

My next challenge: leaving my phone on the desk when I go to bed, instead of next to my pillow. I mean, really...I'm not in a career field where I'm expecting an emergency call, email or text in the middle of the night. And I don't need to check Facebook as soon as I wake up.

Baby steps...(and yes, you can make fun of me all you want).

Can you just google your brain?

I'm a big gmail fan. Google in general, but I love my gmail account. I can organize my emails in folders. I can archive stuff so it's not filling up my "inbox." I can use search terms to find emails that have been lost in my cyber mailbox. I can search by a contact, and see every single email I've shared with that one person. It groups my email and subsequent responses in one "email." I mean...things weren't always this amazing! Remember hotmail? Yeah...

My favorite feature is definitely the search capability. All I need to remember are a couple key search words, and I can find the EXACT email I need, even if I don't remember who it was to or from. So I guess it shouldn't really be a big surprise that lately I expected my brain to do the same. I was trying to remember something, not sure if it was a memory, some sort of information or whatever, and in my mind I started thinking of the search times I was going to use to "gmail search" my brain. Once I realized what I was trying to do, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. But how awesome would it be if you could gmail search your BRAIN?! You'd never "forget" anything (not sure how the brain actually works when it comes to remembering and forgetting...but assuming it all stays stored in your brain somewhere)...you'd just have to remember the right search terms and you'd be set.

I shared this recently with Jeff, and he shared a similar story he had . He was smelling something at his parent's house, he wanted to share the scent with me, and wanted to email it to me so I could smell it. Ha!

This sounds crazy now...but it's only a matter of time...right?