Updates on The Merry Ministers

I think I've come a long way since Shirley's wedding last Summer. I've performed four wedding ceremonies since her's, and have about 6 or 7 booked so far for this Summer. Not bad for something I didn't even have in mind around this time last year.

The real exciting thing is that it's becoming a little more than I initially planned. My mother-in-law stated that I missed my calling to be an event planner. I think there's some truth in that. I really enjoy planning the shit out of things. Maybe those things are weddings.

I'm thinking that The Merry Ministers can become a one stop shop for a lot of things: officiant, photographer (Jeff), wedding coordinator (Erika is thinking of jumping on board), and list some reputable local vendors for rentals, flowers, and venues.

I love going through wedding blogs and seeing so many great ideas for stuff. I love the thought of sitting down with someone and helping them not only with their ceremony, but their wedding in general.

It's a long way down the road, but who knows?

Related Post:

Wedding Shenanigans and Possible Career Change

Little Updates: A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Well, we finished moving and are completely settled in to our new home with Jeff's parents. For any who were curious, it's going really well. His parents are wonderful and easy to live with. It was weird at first just getting used to having roommates again, so I can't make Jeff's coffee in my PJ's (underwear...), but all of that is pretty minor. We really like our new room; in fact, we kinda like it better than the room from our apartment! Jeff's mom let me have the desk they had in the living room, which is pretty amazing. It has little cubbies for all my office/work stuff, and a drawer with a filing cabinet (nerd), and it's pretty amazing.

I still haven't quite figured out my productivity schedule. I'm up by 7:30am, which is when I make coffee for Jeff, make sure he's out of bed and on his way to work. It's not that he asks for me to wake up and make his coffee, but I just wake up at that time anyway. I can't seem to sleep in past 7...ever (except for Sunday, but that's because I was up on Saturday at 3:40am, and was in 100 degree heat all day...), so might as well get up and be productive. Anyhow, I check emails and my reader, maybe listen to a webinar from CharityHowTo or the Foundation Center, pick up the room a little, and then I either procrastinate by working on random projects (like doing cross stitch on an old blanket that's falling apart), or I try to get some work done on my cases. I really need to get better on focusing on the latter.

It's been pretty amazing though, this whole, "working on my own" thing. I can meet clients whenever I want, I can work on their stuff whenever I want, I can have lunch with friends whenever I want, I can book myself for volunteer events whenever I want.

I did apply for a part-time volunteer coordinator position at a non-profit that is literally 1.5 miles from our house. It doesn't pay much, but it would be great to work in something that I really want to acquire some skills and experience in, and also have a steady paycheck while I wait for clients to pay me. The organization looks amazing, and one that I'd like to be involved in over the long-term if things work out, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We were finally able to buy Jeff the camera he's been wanting (Nikon D7000), and he got an amazing flash and lens for it (we had to return the lens because the automatic focus didn't work, hopefully we get a new one back soon). He's got two small weddings that he's already booked for this month, so we're hoping that will be an additional source of revenue for us. As for my wedding officiant business, I had one wedding last month in Spanish, and I've got two booked for this month. Our free Google advertising dried up, so I'm gonna have to invest some real money into our website if I want to keep getting leads. Seems like it's worth it so far.

So, between wedding ceremonies, legal cases, wedding photography, Jeff's steady work...I think we might be pulling it off finally. Which has me really worried. So far, our life has always been a bit of give and take: something great happens, then something else happens to even things out, and we land exactly where we were before that great thing happened. So here we are, not having to pay rent, with some steady and unsteady flows of income...to the point where we can save and invest in things...and I'm honestly nervous about what's around the corner. I feel like something has to happen to even things out again, there's too much good going on right now.

I hope I'm wrong. I really, really hope I'm wrong. Because seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is kinda nice.

Wedding Shenanigans...and possible Career Change?!

Sometime last year, my good friend Shirley asked me if I would marry her (as in, perform her wedding ceremony...the state of California won't let me marry her, per se). I remember being in my office at the bankruptcy law firm where I was working at the time when she asked me. On gchat. Hey, I got my work done.

Sounded crazy to me, but it's Shirley, and who am I to judge what the bride-to-be wanted? Brookie has performed several weddings (she had actually just married our good friends Erika and Julian), so I knew it was doable. I did a little research online and found out it cost $8 (plus $13 for the actual certificate, sneaky sneaky), plus about five minutes of your time to type out your name and email. Five minutes and eight dollars later, probably during the same initial conversation I had with Shirley, and I was an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church Monastery. Done and done, son.

Shirley is probably the best client I'll ever have. "Whatever you want Alex, just keep it short." We literally worked out the script to her wedding about a week before her big day. And I gotta say, it was pretty darn good. I was a little nervous right before the ceremony, but it helped that they had a small ceremony, and maybe those $120,000 I spent on law school taking courses in trial practice and participating in competition teams helped too. Anyhow, the ceremony went without a hitch, and I didn't do half bad. Paperwork was signed, and hopefully everything was done right and they should get their marriage certificate soon-ish. I even dressed professional!

TBM (The Boss Man, for those who forgot already) is getting married next month, and he got wind of my minister's license. I wish I could say he asked me to perform his ceremony because it would mean a lot to him to have someone that he knows perform it, or because he appreciates our friendship and wants me to be a part of his special day, but the reality is that he's trying to get married as cheaply as possible (second marriage, FYI), and I'm about as cheap as they come. So, I've got my second wedding booked! By "as cheap as they come," I mean that he hasn't offered to pay me anything. Which is fine. Jeff and I will get a free dinner at the Montage. And maybe the day off from work (he's getting married on a weekday to make it cheaper...not like on a Friday...more like a Monday or Tuesday). As I see it: a little more experience, a little more confidence, and maybe I'll start trying to make money off of this!

Let's shift gears to Jeff. Abby and Paul got married last July, they had an intimate courthouse wedding. They asked Jeff to take some pictures for them, and the pictures turned out really nice. Not crazy professional, but he captured some great moments. Since then, Jeff's been experimenting a lot with Charlie's camera (buying Jeff his own camera is at the top of our list...when we have the money for it), and he's gotten really great, in my humble opinion. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about her wedding planning, and she mentioned how they weren't going to have a photographer because they don't have the budget to pay someone $2,000 for 'em. *lightbulb* "Jeff took pictures for Abby's wedding...he's no professional (yet), but he'd be super cheap and you'd have some pictures of your wedding." And just like that, Jeff has a paid gig for October.

I think TBM is looking to hire a student photographer for his wedding. I'm gonna throw Jeff's name out there tomorrow. Who know's, maybe Jeff and I are gonna become the new powerhouse for Orange County weddings: minister AND photographer for super cheap!

I like, strike that, LOVE, the idea of being able to work for ourselves. I'm not naive enough to think that a couple wedding gigs that pay way under market value are going to provide us enough to survive, but it's a start. And you gotta start somewhere.

'Tis the Season!

With Summer comes...wedding season! This year Jeff and I are fortunate to be invited to two weddings, both of which I'm excited for and honored to be invited to (and be a part of!).

This Saturday, my amazing friend Katie gets married. We met in law school, after finding out that we had both been to Guatemala. I literally just realized that the two roommates I ever had (other than Jeff), I've gotten to know because of our initial connection with Guatemala: my freshman year in college someone told me there was another girl in our dorm hall that was from Guatemala...I think I left a really lame message on her door with something to the effect of "You're from Guatemala, I'm from Guatemala, we should hang out!" Lame, but it worked. We became great friends and shared a one bedroom apartment for three years. And then my first year in law school we had to introduce ourselves in Torts and say something "interesting"; Katie mentioned she had just traveled to Guatemala, and I mentioned that I was half Guatemalan and spoke Spanish fluently (what can I say, it's the only really interesting thing I got going sometimes). We sat next to each other in one class, and before we knew it, we were trying out for the ADR competition team together, traveling to cities near and far, sharing an apartment, and eventually sharing a hotel room during the bar exam (let me tell you, sharing a hotel room during the bar is EXTREMELY frowned upon--we were advised multiple times by multiple people not to do it...it worked out great :) ). Anyhow, Katie's friend Lauren made her invitations, and they're absolutely adorable (vcm1313@cox.net).

And next Saturday is Shirley's wedding! We also met in law school. Shirley might be one of the craziest girls I know, and she's absolutely amazing for it. She's incredibly smart, and has more passion for public interest than anyone else I know. She currently works for a legal aid in Nebraska, and is kicking ass at her job. I wanna be her someday :) Her sister, Wendy Peng, designed and made her invitations, which look awesome (pendyweng@gmail.com).

I should mention that both of these fine young ladies are marrying amazing gentlemen. Katie met J, and it's the first time ever I've ever seen a couple that is more lovey dovey than Jeff and I :) And Shirley is marrying Seth, who she met in Nebraska while doing an internship out there during law school. Things worked out well enough for her to move to Nebraska (yep), and now they are happily engaged and....homeowners!

Ladies: I can't wait <3

Our Wedding Songs

So this is something I had typed up to include in our attendant gifts (which were CD's with all of our favorite songs), but it was too long to really put in with the CD's. Thought I'd still throw it out there.

First day of my life, by Bright Eyes

“First day of my life,” is kind of an obvious one. Jeff and I have been looking forward to this day for about three years, and we’re beyond excited to start our new married life together, and all the happiness and grief that may come with it!

Skinny Love, by Bon Iver

Jeff discovered Bon Iver online, after a live presentation on the Letterman show (I recommend checking out that version on YouTube, the drums sounds verrrry cool!). I think Jeff and I just like the passion with which this song is played and sung.

Old Timers, by Leslie and the Badgers

Jeff and I first discovered Leslie and the Badgers when we were visiting Sabrina in Salt Lake City. We immediately had a crush on Leslie. Lucky for us, they’re from Santa Monica, CA, so we’ve been able to see them live again. We picked this song because we really do want to be “Old Timers” together, sitting on the porch drinking lemonade beer.

Adoro, by Los Panchos

I’ve grown up with Los Panchos, and although I believe I exposed Jeff to it not too long into our relationship, it was at my uncle Franky’s wedding that I translated this song for Jeff and it took on a very personal meaning for us. It’s one of those classic love songs, where you’re everything to each other, and you love every single thing about that person. It didn’t take long for us to decide on this song as our first dance.

The Greatest, by Cat Power

Cat Power just has such an amazing voice, we had to put her on this CD. Sorry Brookie!

American Boy, by Estelle and Kanye West

To spice things up a bit, we threw in “American Boy” which Jeff and I truly enjoy.

Fools, by the Dodos

Jeff is a HUGE Dodo’s fan! So is his brother Mike, I think. It’s great for sunny driving days J

Hoist that Rag, by Tom Waits

Again, another artist that Jeff exposed me to—Tom Waits. I love how different his sound is, there’s something about it that just gets to me-in a good way. I don’t think I would have appreciated this artist before meeting Jeff.

Blood on my Shirt, by Band of Annuals

Band of Annuals is another band that was playing with Leslie and the Badgers in Salt Lake. They’re actually HUGE in Salt Lake—everywhere we went that day, people were spreading the word about The Annuals playing that night. It was great that we were able to partake in this piece of Salt Lake culture. Another girl with amazing vocals (I think).

That's how strong my love is, by Otis Redding

That’s how strong my love is. It’s a classic. And it’s also Jeff’s alarm ring tone—it’s actually a great way to start our day! This was the song we picked to make our reception entrance.

Our Song, by Adam Watts

We actually don’t know the title to this Adam Watt’s song. An old Starbucks co-worker of mine (Mr. Dodd) burned me an amazing CD with a bunch of random songs, and this one was on it. Along came Mr. Jeff, and the song really started making sense to me. It’s funny how meanings of a song can change depending on where you are in your life. This is the song we decided to play as we were walking down the aisle together, as Mr. and Mrs.

Like red on a rose, by Alan Jackson

“Red on a Rose” is another result of Franky and Nicole’s wedding. My family and I instantly fell in love with this song as they danced their first dance as Mr. & Mrs. Hoyos, and I doubt any wedding in my family from now on will be missing this song.

She's Everything, by Brad Paisley

I think I first heard this Brad Paisley song on the radio, and then played it for Jeff. I love how this song reflects loving the good and the bad of someone—you take that person as they are, whether they’re the giver you wish you could be or the stealer of the covers. This is hands down one of our favorite super sappy love songs. Like teary eyed favorites.

Flightless Bird, by Iron and Wine

For Twilight fans, you should recognize this as the song they dance to at the end of the movie. It’s not the reason why it’s in here though—Jeff would never allow that! Jeff and I always talk about how crazy it is that two people who are perfect for each—and yet so different—could actually meet (thanks Abby and Brooke!), so I always think of how I met Jeff when I hear this song: “…and I found you…”

Sabor a Mi, by Los Panchos with Eydie Gorme

Another Los Panchos favorite of ours. Edie Gorme is the female vocalist accompanying Los Panchos on this one. Again, one of those songs that just speaks of true love, and never being able to forget someone who you have shared so much with.

The Trapeze Swinger, by Iron and Wine

A final Iron and Wine song. It took a while for Jeff and I to decide what song we would play when I walked down the aisle. I remember we were on the 5 freeway, heading home from Jeff’s parents house when this song came on. There’s something about the mellowness and bells at the beginning that decided it. I’m not sure that the lyrics are the best for walking down the aisle, but the pace and rhythm were too perfect to pass up!

Our Wedding!

First of all, thanks to Josh for this amazing picture! Jeff and I were engaged since February 2008, and it was great to have a long engagement. With work, school, and the bar on the table, it was nice to have time to plan everything, rather than having to get it all done at once. We were able to cut down our budget a lot by doing things ourselves, and by the generosity of both of our families and friends, without which our wedding would not have been as amazing as it was!

I think the hardest part about our wedding, for me, was relinquishing control to someone else. I'm used to organizing and doing things my way, but on the day of the wedding you can't do anything but worry about hair and makeup! I should have known that I didn't need to worry about a thing...everyone was so great about getting all the last minute things together!

Although we got off to a rocky start because Jeff was running a little late (he realized only about 20 minutes before he had to be at the wedding venue that he had actually forgotten his shirt-and so ensued their own adventure to the mall...), and the DJ played the wrong song for the bridal party entrance (which turned out fine in the end), the rest of the wedding went so smooth and perfect that I couldn't really believe it!

By far the best part of it all was seeing so many of our friends and relatives all together in one place, and seeing them all have a great time. I will give the DJ this, he knew how to keep everyone dancing--with the exception of one house/dance song that he played, which ensured

that everyone left the dance floor and emptied the keg. This picture was taken after someone--brilliant, of course--decided to move the dance hall outside where it was much cooler! And everyone was getting low...

One of the "unique" things we did at our wedding (every bride wants her wedding to be special and "different," let me tell you--not easy to do on a budget!) was that we stayed away from the unity candle and such things. Jeff is an artist, so I thought we could tie that in to the ceremony somehow. What we ended up doing was that Jeff did an outline of a heart on a blank canvas, then during the ceremony we had both of our mom's come up and outline one side of the heart in black. After they were done, Jeff and I got up there with the red paint, and he filled in part of the heart and I filled out the rest.

After the ceremony it was moved to the reception area, along with some permanent markers, and this is what we got:

We still haven't found out who crossed out whatever they wrote on the left side of the heart, oh well. Now we just have to save up a lot of money so we can get it framed somehow and display it somewhere.

Needless to say, any bride could probably write a book about her wedding; suffice it to say that it was everything we wanted. We only wish it could have lasted longer!