Adventures in Starting My Own Firm: Mentors & Willingness

There are a few attorneys in the area that have been absolutely incredible and have truly given me confidence to keep doing what I'm doing. One of them has been extremely open in letting me ask her questions whenever I'm stuck on something: she always gives me more information than what I ask for, right away. And she's never made me feel bad or guilty about using her time.

There are two other immigration attorneys who have recently talked to me about doing some contract work for them. They are both great at what they do, and they have sought me out because they have a ton of work, and need someone to help them out. In exchange they are offering me a great mentoring partnership (as well as paying me for the work I'd do for them), they have been incredibly generous with their time, and have offered to show me the ropes of immigration law. One attorney took me to the federal building and introduced me to almost every agent and clerk that he saw--which he knew personally. Everyone liked him, and was incredibly nice when I was introduced. I felt like I was getting star treatment.

Recently someone told me they really admired that I walked to the beat of my own drum. I found this really encouraging, and also eye opening. I'm not claiming that I'm a trailblazer for opening my own firm, by any means, but I know I'm doing things a little differently than most. I like feeling comfortable in my own skin, and sometimes this means wearing jeans to an MCLE event, and I love that I now have the confidence to wear jeans in a room full of suits. I'm always waiting for the 60-year old male veteran attorney to come up to me and tell me that I'm a disgrace to the legal practice for dressing the way I do (mind you, I'm not dressed like a slob, I just hate wearing suits when I'm not going to court). I'm sure someone's said something to someone. But the truth is, I don't think I am a disgrace to the legal profession, and I'm ok with it if people want to talk about it. I'm ok with not getting the approval of the veterans. At least for now...who knows...in a few months this could all crash and burn and I'll realize that my rebellion needs to cease. Ha.

The reason for that whole last paragraph is that I feel truly blessed that attorneys think I'm trustworthy and smart enough to partner with, even though I don't do things the "normal" way. It makes me feel like I'll be okay if I keep doing what I do, and that I won't crash and burn. There seem to be some great people out there that are willing to help me out, regardless of whether I'm rebelling against the suit or not.

Finally, this past week I was referred a case through a new contact. It's in a subject area of family law that I haven't handled before (obviously, there are a ton of areas I haven't handled yet, haha), and my natural instinct was to send an email saying "hey, thanks for thinking of me, but I think you should refer it to someone else." It's not because I can't do it...it's because I lack the confidence to know that I can. But instead of sending that email, I read about the subject, looked at my practice guide, looked up the code, and realized it wasn't a super difficult thing to do. So I said I was willing to talk to her friend, looked over her documents, and told her I'd be happy to take her case. She's talking to another attorney tomorrow before she decides who to go with (I'd have to charge her for driving time since it's not in my area). Whether I get the case or not, I'm really proud of myself for being willing to take it, instead of automatically passing on it.

Resolution Updates

Today, I got up early to stand in line at the DMV by 7:30 a.m. No matter how early you think is early enough for this mission, it never is. There was already a line of about 12 people in front of me. It's ok though, I made it out by 8:30 a.m., license renewed, eye exam and photo taken. Not gonna lie, I was a little nervous about that eye exam...but they have really low standards, so I was fine (not sure how safe that makes me feel though).

Next up was the car dealership where I had to take my little car in to get an oil change (don't worry kids, I don't usually take it to the dealership, but I had a coupon...and it included a free car wash, which my car desperately needed). I was out of there by 9:30 a.m.

I got back home, and couldn't believe it wasn't even 10:00 a.m. yet. Dealt with some client issues, talked to opposing counsel and gave him a two week extension on his discovery, did final number crunching for Haiti Scholarships and sent out a check.

For lunch I ate the rest of the salad I had prepared the day before for--I hadn't put dressing on it, so it was still good. I added an avocado to it. Avocado makes everything better. Met up with Karin for lunch, got caught up and agreed to plan the Cinco de Mayo event for the HBA.

Which brings me to...my first resolution failure.

I didn't write this one down, but I did mention it to Jeff, so it's as good as if it was in writing: I told myself, and Jeff, that I would stop committing myself to new events for a while. But I got an email from Diana asking me to co-chair the HBA Program Committee...and I was honestly a little giddy about getting to help people plan their events (LAME, yes), that I said yes without even thinking about it. Oops.

I'm sure Jeff isn't surprised.

Anywho...

I snacked on milk and cherries--no cookies.

Took a bunch of stuff to storage that was crowding our room, and then I went to a local credit union to open up my business banking and IOLTA account. I think I've been putting this off for a while because it really makes things official...I now have checks and a card that say "Law Office of [insert my full name here--it makes for a very long firm name]" Crazy. But, it's done. So it must be really happening.

Jeff and I got home at about the same time, so I sent a couple emails real quick, and then we headed out for our walk/run. We jogged about a quarter of our mile, and walked the rest of it. We figure we'll slowly work this up to where we're running 3 miles. Jeff has been keeping track of our last 3 walks on an app he got for his iPhone, and it was pretty cool to see that we completed each of our walks about one minute faster each time. Not bad!

We had home-made chili for dinner last night. Maybe not the healthiest thing, but holy cow can Jeff's mom make delicious chili!

I was comatose after eating seconds, so the rest of my evening was spent on the couch...

Resolution Updates

In the famous words of a local All Hands Volunteer, "today was a good day."

I was productive on my legal cases--called opposing counsel to follow up on some outstanding discovery, followed up with three different clients, fixed an order that was kicked back from the court, sent out an updated bill to a client, sent a letter of representation and answer to opposing counsel on another case, and made an appointment with my asylum client so I can start prepping him for his hearing.

I crunched numbers for Haiti Scholarships and our applicants, updated donor and student databases, transferred Paypal money to our bank account, and sent a couple follow up emails.

Sent out a couple more letters requesting silent auction donations for Corazon's Annual Meeting and Silent Auction fundraiser (join us!), followed up with some that I had already sent out, reviewed our silent auction google doc and agenda, and attended our planning committee meeting.

Sent out emails to the O'Neill park ranger and the Adopt-a-Park coordinator for our International Service Day event, followed up with two individuals who are helping us promote the event, contacted Ally and begged her to help us create a poster for the event (she said yes!!), typed up the minutes for yesterday's planning committee meeting and sent it out to the planning committee members.

Had lunch and caught up with Jen, which was fabulous.

Made a delicious and healthy salad for Jeff and I for lunch. I was on the verge of just going to buy something so I wouldn't have to spend time chopping everything, but I sucked it up and spent the 7 minutes or so that it took me to chop up all the goodies (cucumber, carrot, lettuce, bell pepper, and tossed some tomatoes and feta cheese).

AND, for the third time in less than a week, Jeff and I went on a little walk before dinner. We've walked about a mile each time, which isn't insane, but it's way better than not doing anything...right? We realized that there are some stairs at the park down the street, and we are going to start doing some stair duty...just going up and down the stairs. Our goal is to be able to run a 5k in April (interested?). We've both also been making a point of having healthier snacks. So, instead of my usual cookies and milk for my evening snack (um, yeah, I'm still 5 years old), I have a banana. I was on the verge of breaking today (I told Jeff I've been really good lately, so I deserved a cookie...he wasn't buying it), but Jeff pealed me an orange instead. I also bought grapes, strawberries and cherries. The strawberries looked beautiful, but tasted like...nothing. I should've known: they looked too perfect to have any real flavor. Oh well.

Oh, and completely unrelated to my resolutions, but entirely awesome, I got a shout-out on Kisa's blog!

Anyhow, if I can keep this momentum going, 2012 should be....one hectic and awesome year.

The Day I got Two Letters

Last week, an old college buddy invited me to participate as a speaker in a career fair at his school in downtown LA. I confessed to Jeff that this has been something of a bucket list item for me: I've always wanted to participate, or be asked to participate, in a career day at a school. I'm not sure why. Maybe it makes me feel better about spending so much time and money on my education. Maybe it helps my self-esteem a little bit. Whatever the reason, I obviously said yes.

So I went. I tried to find a balance between: follow your dreams, but don't be stupid about thinking you're going to become a millionaire just because you invest tons of money into a degree. If it's your dream, do it. If you just want to make money, think it through. I'm not sure how much of this made sense to them, or if they even cared, but at least it was good practice for my public speaking skills.

On her way out, one girl dropped a note on the table in front of me. It was folded in that way that you fold all notes that you pass in class in high school. The outside said:

"To: you

From: [her name]"

I liked the "you."

Then I opened it.

"Hey there well i don't know your name but it seems like you're

a good person. My point is if you can help us we've been here in CA for 12 or 11 years we are not citizens or nothing. Well to tell you a little background when i was 2 or 3 years old i came here illegally hope you don't take us back to Mexico. me and my dad and some friends were brought here first then they brought my mom. anyway can you help us fix our papers only me and my parents where born in Mex. My bros and sis were born here....Please help us I don't want this to affect me when i get to college :) please call. oh i'm a freshman

ABOUT ME!

well i like art. i want to have 2 jobs when i grow up

my dad never finds a job

my mom takes care of my bros

want to know more write back or you can come pull me out of clase! please"

My first reaction was, wow, someone is asking ME for help, and there's a possibility that I can help them. That's an amazing feeling.

But then I think more about it, and it makes me a little angry. It sucks that this freshman in high school is already worried about whether she'll be able to go to college or not, because her parents brought her here illegally when she was a baby. That sucks. That really sucks. And who should have to dream about having two jobs just to have stability?

I read it again later, and then realized she asked me to pull her out of class, and I had to laugh. So typical of being in high school: hey, here's this super serious issue I have, can I use it to ditch my next class? I'm not saying the only reason she wrote to me was to get out of class, but I think it's hilarious that she took the opportunity to try to get out of class :)

I haven't had a chance to call her yet, but I will. I'm thinking if her parents haven't fixed their situation yet, it's probably because they can't. But it's worth finding out if money is the only thing holding them back or not.

After that, I went to a book club meeting, and then I finally went home. And there I found these:

Along with my second letter of the day. It was a card from Jeff. The front says "incredible." The inside text says: "to listen deeply, love without limits, and live with intention. you inspire me to be more." Jeff added:

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart. I am sure all your hard work will pay off. Just keep being you. My caring, focused, over planning beautiful wife. No matter what any one else says, I know you will figure it out."

I'm not sure what I did to deserve him, but I'm so happy I have him in my life.

Days like that day, and words like those words, help me believe that my semi-unconventional path is a-ok.

Little Updates: A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Well, we finished moving and are completely settled in to our new home with Jeff's parents. For any who were curious, it's going really well. His parents are wonderful and easy to live with. It was weird at first just getting used to having roommates again, so I can't make Jeff's coffee in my PJ's (underwear...), but all of that is pretty minor. We really like our new room; in fact, we kinda like it better than the room from our apartment! Jeff's mom let me have the desk they had in the living room, which is pretty amazing. It has little cubbies for all my office/work stuff, and a drawer with a filing cabinet (nerd), and it's pretty amazing.

I still haven't quite figured out my productivity schedule. I'm up by 7:30am, which is when I make coffee for Jeff, make sure he's out of bed and on his way to work. It's not that he asks for me to wake up and make his coffee, but I just wake up at that time anyway. I can't seem to sleep in past 7...ever (except for Sunday, but that's because I was up on Saturday at 3:40am, and was in 100 degree heat all day...), so might as well get up and be productive. Anyhow, I check emails and my reader, maybe listen to a webinar from CharityHowTo or the Foundation Center, pick up the room a little, and then I either procrastinate by working on random projects (like doing cross stitch on an old blanket that's falling apart), or I try to get some work done on my cases. I really need to get better on focusing on the latter.

It's been pretty amazing though, this whole, "working on my own" thing. I can meet clients whenever I want, I can work on their stuff whenever I want, I can have lunch with friends whenever I want, I can book myself for volunteer events whenever I want.

I did apply for a part-time volunteer coordinator position at a non-profit that is literally 1.5 miles from our house. It doesn't pay much, but it would be great to work in something that I really want to acquire some skills and experience in, and also have a steady paycheck while I wait for clients to pay me. The organization looks amazing, and one that I'd like to be involved in over the long-term if things work out, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We were finally able to buy Jeff the camera he's been wanting (Nikon D7000), and he got an amazing flash and lens for it (we had to return the lens because the automatic focus didn't work, hopefully we get a new one back soon). He's got two small weddings that he's already booked for this month, so we're hoping that will be an additional source of revenue for us. As for my wedding officiant business, I had one wedding last month in Spanish, and I've got two booked for this month. Our free Google advertising dried up, so I'm gonna have to invest some real money into our website if I want to keep getting leads. Seems like it's worth it so far.

So, between wedding ceremonies, legal cases, wedding photography, Jeff's steady work...I think we might be pulling it off finally. Which has me really worried. So far, our life has always been a bit of give and take: something great happens, then something else happens to even things out, and we land exactly where we were before that great thing happened. So here we are, not having to pay rent, with some steady and unsteady flows of income...to the point where we can save and invest in things...and I'm honestly nervous about what's around the corner. I feel like something has to happen to even things out again, there's too much good going on right now.

I hope I'm wrong. I really, really hope I'm wrong. Because seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is kinda nice.

Random Thoughts

Some of you know that I've been doing a little legal work on my own: I picked up a couple family law cases, there's a bankruptcy case on the horizon, and I'm working with a nonprofit (other than Haiti Scholarships) to put together their incorporation and tax exemption paperwork.

I never thought I'd want to really go out on my own; there are so many things to worry about: office space, getting a fax, malpractice insurance, health insurance, guidance, support, expensive reference materials, other overhead costs, etc. I kinda wanted to work for a nonprofit that could really take care of all of this stuff, but alas, I think it's time for me to strike out on my own.

Which is actually turning out quite nice. We're moving in with Jeff's parents in a week, which means I don't have to stress about making x amount of dollars a month to cover rent. I can take my time in developing my marketing and figuring out what the hell I'm doing.

This brings me to: I need to get my shit together. The problem when I don't have a job is that I have too much free time. And I'm a procrastinator. I work better under pressure. Which doesn't happen when I'm my own boss. So. Things get pushed back. Finding something to watch on Netflix or Hulu takes precedence over researching a good online fax provider. Or health insurance. Or finishing those documents I could file today.

So here's what I need: I need to make a schedule for myself, and stick to it. Even though I don't have an "office," I need to set a few hours every day where I make myself sit at my desk, and get work done. It doesn't matter if the dishes aren't washed, or if laundry needs to be folded, office hours are office hours.

Ideally, my day would start with some exercise, but let's be honest about that one...

But after that, I'm trying to figure out what my most productive time would be: should office hours be in the morning, and then I can spend the afternoon taking care of the random projects I like to do? Or should I do that stuff in the morning, and then after lunch have my office hours?

Maybe once we're settled into our new place I'll try out both schedules, and see which one works better.

On a completely separate note, and maybe I mentioned this before, I'm thinking of switching this blog over to wordpress. Any thoughts? Feels like a huge change; I think it might work better...I can have different categories, pages, etc. Maybe I'll become one of those bloggers who makes tons of money and just stays at home and writes about random stuff (wouldn't that be awesome?!)....ha!

What I learned yesterday

I should start with a quick update on what I've been up to. About a week after I got laid off, I got a message from a friend looking for a divorce attorney...then a distant family relative called to ask for help with her divorce...then a legal contact referred a client that needed help with a custody issue, and a friend from law school referred a case to me for a nonprofit incorporation and nonprofit status application. I guess what the universe is trying to tell me...is to man up. So, I guess I'm now working for myself...kind of. It's kind of exciting...and a little nerve racking.

Anyhow, yesterday was my first day at the family courthouse; my client had an interview and I needed to file some documents before her hearing today. While she was in her interview, I went up to the 7th floor at Lamoreaux Justice Center, where I found out the filing of documents occurred (after going to the wrong place only once, go me!). I had to check in, and let the clerk-God know what I was filing, so he could print out a ticket number for me. I got my ticket and walked in, looking around and seeing all the chairs in the room filed by people...with similar tickets in their hand. Well, my next step when chairs are unavailable is to look for a wall or table or something to lean against...but those were also in high demand. So...it was a busy day on the 7th floor.

My ticket was C365 (or something like that)...the current numbers up were A025 and C342 (or something like that). Well, 23 people ahead of me...not tooooo bad, right? Well....when C-tickets aren't getting called up at ALL for about 45 minutes to an hour....it apparently can take over 2 hours for you to reach the filing window. What's this business with A and C tickets, you ask? Well, at that point all I knew was that there was a rotation of some sort between numbers that started with letters from A through F. Little did I know....

After about an hour and a half, I finally sat next to an older lady who seemed to be getting anxious after waiting for over two hours. Her ticket started with F, and she expressed her concern that she hadn't seen an F ticket called in a long time. I took her ticket to the clerk-God and asked him if he could give me any information as to why the F numbers hadn't been called in so long.

"Well, there's a priority system and the numbers get called in order of priority. So A numbers go first, they're for ex parte's, then B's are for attorneys then..."

Wait, B's are for attorneys? I'm an attorney. I've seen B's come and go while I've been here. Are you saying that I could have been out of here already if I just told you I was an attorney?!

"D's are for process servers..."

"Wait, are you saying that I could have gotten priority if I told you I was an attorney?"

"You're an attorney?! Of course you can! Here." And he handed me the golden B ticket. "Next time just make sure you tell me [the clerk-God] that you're an attorney to make sure you get priority."

At this point, I felt a little guilty going back to my neighbor, knowing that her F ticket meant she'd just have to keep waiting...while I got a B ticket...and I'd be out of there way before I was originally scheduled to.

But I guess now I can say these law school loans aren't completely worthless: shoot son, they allow me to cut in line!

In unrelated news...I went to check my PO Box today, even though I wasn't expecting to have any mail there. There wasn't, but I still put in the code and opened it...just because it's cool to do it :)

But yeah, in case you forgot to send me something:

Alexandra M. Armstrong

PO Box 2096

Laguna Hills, CA 92654

Updates and New Beginnings (Again)

(Disclaimer: it's a long one)

So many things to update on that I've actually been putting this off for a few days. Which, within the first line, leads me to digress already: I'm not sure why I feel the need to write; those that are close to me know what's going on, and I don't think I have too many random people following the intricacies of my life that I, for whatever reason, chose to post on the world wide web. Regardless, I feel I have the responsibility to let you all know what's been going on. So here we go.

WORK. I haven't written [too] much about my frustrations with TBM and my job because 1) I'm sure it gets old and most people seem to dislike their job to some degree; 2) it's minor complaining compared to what other people have to deal with in their lives; 3) as someone once said before, "be ye not so stupid" and don't write about your work on the internet unless you have permission to. So yeah, I wasn't so keen on the idea of my boss finding out about my blog while I was still working there and reading all the things I hated about the position (although I'm pretty sure he knew anyway).

This job was meant to be temporary, but it actually started looking like it would turn into something more permanent, and then it didn't. Woah, what does that even mean?! An attorney I used to work for ("TBM") was in need of a legal assistant since the one he had left him high and dry. I needed the money, so I agreed to work in his office part time doing administrative work. He later asked me to start working full time, and told me there was room for me to grow and possibly start a family law practice within his firm. Which sounded great, except that 1) there wasn't really enough time left in the week for me to "start a family law practice" while also keeping on top of all the other things I had to do (you know, important stuff, like correspondence and filing and making court and deposition appearances when him and the other attorney weren't available); and 2) I didn't really want to bust my ass to start a practice for someone else: if I'm going to put in the time and effort to learn a whole new area of law and make it work, I wanna make it work for me, not for someone else.

I could go on forever, but for your sake and mine, I'll just say that the administrative and "personal assistant" duties became a bit much for me to handle, and I realized that any promises made were not going to come to fruition. I was planning on putting in my two weeks notice when TBM let me know last Friday that he was gonna have to let me go due to some financial difficulties. It wasn't a huge shock, and aside from not having a steady check every two weeks (which is HUGE), I was actually relieved.

Here's why.

I've been thinking about what I want to do, or at least what I could enjoy doing, that would help bring some income into our household. I've got some business ideas floating around with Jeff, my friend Brooke, and an old colleague also, but I haven't been able to do anything with these ideas because I've been wasting forty hours a week at a pointless job. Sure, not having a source of steady income is scary as all hell, but I think it's something that needed to happen to make me do something for myself. I'm so used to things working out, and always being able to get things done with minimal effort, that I'm not used to having to work really hard at things. This is my challenge, and I'm nervous/excited to see how I deal with it.

One thing Jeff and I did have to laugh/cry about: I wrote before about how our lives seem to be a roller coaster, but one that never careens out of control: there's always a very delicate balance that keeps us holding on. I mentioned in the "Failure to Launch" blog (which I still have to respond to, thank you everyone for your very thoughtful comments!) how Jeff and I would be moving into his parents house. We were both so excited to be able to save up some money. But with the whole loss of income thing...it seems like we'll be, once again, just getting by. Thankfully we won't have to worry about paying rent, but we also won't have the income we had...which we were hoping to save up. Just so typically us :)

FOOD. Salads. They're kind of my jam right now. I grew up on salads that contained minimal ingredients, and figured that was the norm. I'm discovering that you can throw just about anything into a salad and make it delicious. Like almonds. Or bell peppers. Or feta cheese. Or cilantro! I know, they may seem obvious to you, but for whatever reason, they're new discoveries to me, and I'm excited about it. I think I've been pretty good the last few weeks on not over-indulging on stuff. I did have Mickey D's on Friday (right before I found out I was getting laid off), but that was because I had few alternatives, plus, it came out to about five bucks. Sigh.

This last picture is from dinner with Jeff's parents on Sunday. Holy glorious. Those potatoes? Yep, amazing. Foil paper, slice, salt, butter, put some onion chunks over them, smear some italian dressing over them, put them on the grill, and voila. Not pictured: stuffed chile. I don't know enough to give details, other than it was delicious. And it sent me into a food coma.

EXERCISE: I haven't been the greatest at this, but with being unemployed and Vegas being around the corner, I'm really gonna try to kick it up a notch. Jeff and I are trying to go on little walks before/after dinner, and I actually made it to the gym this morning! It was probably my most lame attempt at working out, but I at least made it there. Baby steps...

THINGS I WANT: Remember that iPhone case I wanted? Here's a reminder just in case. (Ha! iPhone "case"..."just in case"...get it?! wow...Lord help me...) Well....I GOT IT! Turns out Jeff wanted to give me some sort of compensation for helping him get his art show set up at Mesa, and it's absolutely fabulous. It's taking some getting used to, but I really like it. I still haven't dropped my phone, so I can't attest to it's protective powers, but hopefully they're good...because my phone falls quite a bit. Needless to say...I need to set up Jeff's next art show before my next installment of "Things I Want"...this could be great!

Unemployment accountability: I think I might go back to my old accountability reports from my last stint of unemployment. It shamed me into being productive, and I might need that up and running again. I think this post is long enough as is, so I might skip my accountability from the last couple days, but I am proud of everything I did yesterday and today, so I'm off to a much better start.

The Walking Dead: One thing I did do yesterday was go to Barns & Nobel and buy Volume 13 of The Walking Dead. As if I didn't have OCD issues on my own, this comic makes it nearly impossible to put down. I read volumes 11 & 12 on Sunday at Jeff's parent's house, and although we had volume 14...we were missing volume 13. So I went to B&N yesterday...then sat in the parking lot of Trader Joe's reading about a third of it before I forced myself to go buy stuff for dinner and go home before finishing it. Which I did. Then I finished Volume 14. Holy cow. The father-son relationship reminds me so much of Roland and Jake from The Dark Tower, which I love. I actually keep wanting to call Carl, Jake. It'll be interesting to see what they keep for season 2 of the show. And I'm hoping volume 15 comes out soon...

Well, I hope that wasn't entirely boring. One thing I'm excited about with this whole unemployment thing is working on more substantive blog posts...so hopefully that works out to your advantage :)

TBM Update

It seems that a couple of you rather enjoy my references to TBM (yes, I'm looking at you Annie & Shirley), so I thought I'd share a little anecdote with you.

TBM rolled in to the office today a little before 10am (he had an appointment with someone in our office at 10am, otherwise I wonder if he would've come in at all).

He called me into the office, and as I walked in he threw a Target bag on his desk and said "I don't have time for this...separate all the house stuff from the medical stuff..." then resumed looking through his desk for whatever piece of paper he had misplaced in the 30 seconds since he'd been in his office.

What I expected to see: at least three months worth of unopened personal correspondence for all his bills and what not. He hasn't had me do that since March or April, so I figured he had finally gotten around to emptying his car and brought it all into the office.

But no.

This is what I found when I dumped the contents onto my desk:

Please take note that although I am writing a semi-bitter and not enchanting blog about TBM, I have been courteous enough to edit out the credit card information from one of his receipts (I hope I did that right...). Yep, crumpled receipts. See, TBM is remodeling the house he just bought, and doing a lot of the stuff himself and overseeing contractors and what not, so there are dozens upon dozens of receipts from Lowes, Home Depot, and a bunch of random contractors. I was really tempted to add up all the totals, but thought it was just be depressing, so I restrained myself. I did separate them neatly, at which point I asked what he wanted done with them.

"Just make a file for them."

I asked where he wanted the miscellaneous receipts that had nothing to do with his construction, since the whole point was to separate stuff out....

"Just put them in the same file."

Done and done.

Wedding Shenanigans...and possible Career Change?!

Sometime last year, my good friend Shirley asked me if I would marry her (as in, perform her wedding ceremony...the state of California won't let me marry her, per se). I remember being in my office at the bankruptcy law firm where I was working at the time when she asked me. On gchat. Hey, I got my work done.

Sounded crazy to me, but it's Shirley, and who am I to judge what the bride-to-be wanted? Brookie has performed several weddings (she had actually just married our good friends Erika and Julian), so I knew it was doable. I did a little research online and found out it cost $8 (plus $13 for the actual certificate, sneaky sneaky), plus about five minutes of your time to type out your name and email. Five minutes and eight dollars later, probably during the same initial conversation I had with Shirley, and I was an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church Monastery. Done and done, son.

Shirley is probably the best client I'll ever have. "Whatever you want Alex, just keep it short." We literally worked out the script to her wedding about a week before her big day. And I gotta say, it was pretty darn good. I was a little nervous right before the ceremony, but it helped that they had a small ceremony, and maybe those $120,000 I spent on law school taking courses in trial practice and participating in competition teams helped too. Anyhow, the ceremony went without a hitch, and I didn't do half bad. Paperwork was signed, and hopefully everything was done right and they should get their marriage certificate soon-ish. I even dressed professional!

TBM (The Boss Man, for those who forgot already) is getting married next month, and he got wind of my minister's license. I wish I could say he asked me to perform his ceremony because it would mean a lot to him to have someone that he knows perform it, or because he appreciates our friendship and wants me to be a part of his special day, but the reality is that he's trying to get married as cheaply as possible (second marriage, FYI), and I'm about as cheap as they come. So, I've got my second wedding booked! By "as cheap as they come," I mean that he hasn't offered to pay me anything. Which is fine. Jeff and I will get a free dinner at the Montage. And maybe the day off from work (he's getting married on a weekday to make it cheaper...not like on a Friday...more like a Monday or Tuesday). As I see it: a little more experience, a little more confidence, and maybe I'll start trying to make money off of this!

Let's shift gears to Jeff. Abby and Paul got married last July, they had an intimate courthouse wedding. They asked Jeff to take some pictures for them, and the pictures turned out really nice. Not crazy professional, but he captured some great moments. Since then, Jeff's been experimenting a lot with Charlie's camera (buying Jeff his own camera is at the top of our list...when we have the money for it), and he's gotten really great, in my humble opinion. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about her wedding planning, and she mentioned how they weren't going to have a photographer because they don't have the budget to pay someone $2,000 for 'em. *lightbulb* "Jeff took pictures for Abby's wedding...he's no professional (yet), but he'd be super cheap and you'd have some pictures of your wedding." And just like that, Jeff has a paid gig for October.

I think TBM is looking to hire a student photographer for his wedding. I'm gonna throw Jeff's name out there tomorrow. Who know's, maybe Jeff and I are gonna become the new powerhouse for Orange County weddings: minister AND photographer for super cheap!

I like, strike that, LOVE, the idea of being able to work for ourselves. I'm not naive enough to think that a couple wedding gigs that pay way under market value are going to provide us enough to survive, but it's a start. And you gotta start somewhere.

While I'm at it...Career Updates

First off, I'm thankful to have a job. But I also don't want to be complacent in a position I'm neither happy with, nor do I believe it will benefit me hugely in the long run. So, I'm in a pickle. I'm pretty much working as a secretary/firm administrator/appearance attorney at the firm I'm working at. The Boss Man ("TBM") keeps saying that in August he's going to start advertising for family law, and he wants me to develop that practice for the firm. Which sounds great in theory. I think I would enjoy family law. I'd get to put my mediation and negotiation competition skills to the test, and I'd have more client interaction. My main concern doing family law at this firm is that it caters to people who can pay...and that's not quite the clientele I want to serve. Haha, I sound ridiculous. But seriously, if I'm going to practice law, I want to do it for the benefit of those who need it and can't afford it. But I also need to pay my bills...

Anyhow, before I get carried away with hypotheticals and theorizing about what my dreams are (which I think I'm starting to figure out, finally)...I don't think this whole family law thing is going to become a reality in the near future. Thing is, TBM hired me because he needed a receptionist, and I knew this when I started. I took the job because I needed the money, with all parties knowing this was temporary for both sides. But now I'm waiting around for something more serious to develop, and I just don't think it will. TBM will always need a receptionist/legal administrator, and as long as I'm there, why would he hire someone else to do it? On the other hand, how am I supposed to "develop" a legal practice while answering phones, dealing with correspondence, and a billion other things that come up on any given day? I just don't see it happening.

And if that's the case, I don't want to waste my time or his. I need to figure out what's best for Jeff and I, and helping TBM out while he figures stuff out isn't quite it. I've done a few contract jobs, and could try to pick up some more jobs like that. Maybe work on my own thing. Of course, with that comes financial risk, which Jeff and I aren't necessarily prepared to deal with either.

Life is a cluster fuck sometimes (sorry mom[s]).

Books Galore...and my dream job.

A few years ago I distinctly remember making fun of our friend Pat for having a half dozen half-read books around his room. This came up specifically because he was still only half way through the second or third book of Stephen King's Dark Tower, and I couldn't believe he hadn't finished reading it yet. What I couldn't believe even more was that someone could start reading a book, while still having another book unfinished. WHAT?! This made no sense to me...I just didn't see the logic in starting another book when you still hadn't finished another one.

Here I am, a few years later...and here's where I'm at:

• Currently reading In Defense of Food, page 160 of 201
• The White Man's Burden, I'm about half way through...partially lost interest, partially found more exciting things to read (it's a little dense for me, but I plan on finishing it up soon-ish)
• Half the Sky, about two-thirds of the way through--great read, and probably would've finished it by now if I hadn't gotten distracted by the first book on this list.

Not to mention all the books I already have a list of that I want to read next:

• Letters from Burma was a Christmas present from my brother in law and his wife, and I'm really looking forward to that
• The Idea of Justice by Amartya Sen
• Uses of Haiti by Paul Farmer (not sure I can actually make my way through this one, but I want to try)
• Hope in Hell: Inside the World of Doctors Without Borders
• Poor Economics
• Armed Humanitarians: the Rise of the Nation Builders
• Stranger Things Happen (short stories)
• Getting Better: Why Global Development is Succeeding--and How we Can Improve the World Even More

So much to read, so little time.

Which brings me to something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately--and of which I'd like to write a longer blog someday, but that hasn't happened yet so here's the short and sweet of it all. What do I want to be when I grow up? Honestly? I want to get paid to research and write (um, not sure blogging is "writing" per se...) about things I'm interested in (I have a never ending list of things I want to write about on this blog, but some are subjects I actually want to research and write something half intelligently about, alas the time is seriously lacking), and I want to get paid to do the kind of volunteer work I really enjoy doing, ranging from hands on stuff like going to Mexico and building houses, to more office/admin/legal stuff like helping non profits get incorporated, grant-writing, fundraising, etc. I just need to figure out how I can get paid to do those things :)

Frustrations are Growing

Lately I've been growing more and more frustrated with my J.D. Yep. That piece of paper that I have in a cheap frame under a pile of crap under my desk, at home. That paper that put me in the whole for about $160,000 and will probably reach $200,000 with interest before I'm even able to start making serious payments on it.

It's not just the degree that frustrates me. I'm mostly frustrated at myself for getting it in the first place. I'm definitely one of those people that's talked about in legal blogs a lot recently: that naive college graduate who thinks law school is a great idea and signs up without ever researching whether it really IS a good idea. I did absolutely NO research on how much my degree would cost, or how much I would be in debt by the time I graduated, or job prospects (although even diligent research could not have foretold the economic downturn that took over after I started law school). I kick myself in the butt for not doing this. I should've known what I was getting myself into. I should've really thought about whether a JD was really the best course to pursue for what I wanted to do with my life. I should've really thought about what I wanted to do with my life.

Instead I just dove in. And now I feel like I need to put this paper to use in some way just so I can pay it off, even though I have close to no interest in pursuing a career in a typical legal career. I feel like I'm trapped in a room, this JD and I, and all I can do is stare at it with fiery burning eyes. I can't make it disappear, I can't get rid of it. And it's keeping me from doing other things I feel I would really enjoy, and therein lies my greatest disappointment. Because it's no one's fault but my own (oh and the institution/business of legal education which can get away with charging what they charge).

I think both Jeff and I are getting frustrated with my frustration. I know I need to snap out of it and just be more appreciative of the things I do have going on. It's just so haaaaaaaard to snap out of it! I've definitely been acting like a whiny 5-year old. Maybe I need to start reading self-help books...

Music as the Soundtrack to Life

I've been listening to music before work a lot more in the last few weeks. I usually listen to news radio so I can find out what's going on, but let's be honest, that's a pretty depressing way to start your day.

So lately I've been listening to music. And I've taken it a step further: I've become one of those people with headphones on while I walk into the office...I know...not the most social thing to do, but who needs awkward elevator interaction anyway?

Anyhow, I've realized that walking into the office while listening to music I really enjoy is a much better way to get my day started. So I think from now on I'll go through the routine of opening up the office, and turning on lights and computers, with the accompaniment of good tunes.

Who needs social interaction anyhow.

Just in case you're curious, my morning routine lately has included this song:

Mostly for the following lyrics:

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

and I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands

And see the world hanging upside down

You can understand dependence

When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call

And sing all you want

I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now

And I need to know how

To live my life as it's meant to be

I find it motivational. I really, really like the line "you can understand dependence when you know the maker's hand." It strikes a chord, and in a nerdy way, I wanna delve deeper into the meaning of it. Anyone with me?

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Lockers

This is where I sat and waited for my interview last week: Cesar Chavez Community Center, Riverside CA.

It used to be a school.

February 28, 2011

Holy crap, how is it March tomorrow??

What I did:

• Half day at the office
• Did some phone research and make some important calls...which resulted in more calls being added to my to-do list
• Walked Lilo!
• Took stuff to Goodwill..I think my garage will be in working condition again by next week, which is fantastic news
• This weekend I worked a TON on the slideshow presentation for the HBA diner on Saturday, so hopefully I can wrap that up and be done with it by Wednesday
• Helped Karin finalize some silent auction stuff
• Worked on blogs for Haiti Scholarships
• Made dinner! Delicious pasta primavera and asparagus
• Went to church with my mom on Sunday, and watched Amazing Race with Jeff's family

What I didn't do:

• Work on acceptance letters for HS
• Write letter of support for small claims matter (which is no longer such a small claim...16 other couples are also trying to sue this wedding photographer)
• Work on immigration cases
• Research for 31 Bits
• Contact school organizations regarding Haiti Scholarships and student sponsorships
• Figure out what I need to get for my trip to Haiti...I can't believe it's in a little over two weeks, time has FLOWN by!
• Probably much much more...

Interview results...and the ensuing conundrum

Well, I got the job offer from the non-profit in Riverside on Friday. I'd been thinking about my decision since I left their office on Thursday...and I thought about it all day Friday. I called and said I would let them know about my decision on Monday.

Although most of the thinking and decision-making was done on Friday, that only meant it left the whole weekend for me to second guess what I was doing.

I talked to my boss on Friday about this possible job offer, and he sat me down and we crunched numbers. The result was obvious: it just doesn't make financial sense to take a job at that pay, that far away. Not to mention the toll the commute and work hours would start to take on Jeff and I. He told me I should just stay in his office and work out my own deal, develop a family law practice and maybe immigration if that's what I really want to do. It's hard to argue against something like that when the other choice is commuting to Riverside for a small salary.

One of the main reasons I've put off starting something of my own is because, at least for the time being, I like the idea of working for "someone," "someone" to give me a general sense of direction on what I need to do and how I should do it. I still think one of the reasons I went to law school in the first place was because I wasn't ready to be out "on my own" yet, and I've been postponing this reality for far too long. Trying out this job with Brad will make me grow up and finally do something for myself. I've never had to push myself too hard for things, so I'm scared of the challenges that lie ahead...and I'm nervous that I've made the wrong choice by turning down the job in Riverside. I'm also conflicted about going down this career path when I've been so infatuated with NOT doing a typical attorney career path. This is where my next challenge comes in: not to lose sight of my focus on public service. Regardless of the work I need to do for Brad, I need to continue working on my non profit stuff, continue to develop skills that would make me marketable in a non profit setting, continue volunteering what time I have to causes that I believe in and make me happy. My biggest fear is getting lost, career-wise...getting consumed by doing something "to get by," and before I know it...I'm too old to make anything else happen.

Either way, it's either sink or swim from here...let's hope I'm making the right decisions in this game called life!

Job Interview #342

Not really. But you know what I mean.

Had an interview with a legal nonprofit in Riverside today. I interviewed with a 5-person panel: three of the staff and two board members. Slightly intimidating to begin with, but everyone was super sweet and made me feel comfortable from the get go. I think I've finally gotten down my answers to most standard interview questions...taken me long enough!

With that said, I'm still torn about the position. When in doubt...to a pro and con list!

Pro's:

• It's public interest, so I'd be doing what I (think) want to do, although it would be mostly in areas of family law and landlord-tenant which I have no experience in, which leads to...
• Good learning experience
• Networking in a new geographic location
• The organization looks like a great place to work, although super small (staff of about 4, helping over a thousand clients a year!)

Con's:

• It's about an hour commute each way
• No immigration work due to funding
• Requires a lot of driving for the job (position is for clinic manager, so 2-3 days a week I'd be driving to Ontario and other locations in the Inland Empire)
• Clinics on 2 days a week run late, which means getting home around 8 or 9pm (although I wouldn't be starting until 10 or 11am)
• Salary is less than $45,000. It would be almost an extra $2,000 a month from what Jeff and I are surviving on right now, so it's not an issue of not paying our bills...but thinking long term I just don't know if that salary is worth all the driving and slightly unconventional hours. On the other hand, I have to start somewhere...and it would be enough to pay our bills, credit cards, a meager loan payment, and maybe even start saving a little...MAYBE.

I guess I should have started by saying that they haven't offered me a position yet...this is me getting ahead of myself.

If you were in my shoes...what would you do?

Cathartic Writing

28. Wow.

I'm not sure how I got here, but here I am. 28 years old.

Do you remember when you were younger, and you would plan out where you would be in five, ten, fifteen years? Eh, maybe that was just me. Anyhow, I calculated how old I would be when I graduated high school and college...and once I was in college I realized I needed to add some time for a graduate program...so marriage would come after that, then the career, the house and babies!

Ha, yeah....I know...ridiculous. You can't plan your life...some things just need to happen. Regardless, I feel that for the most part, my life is where I originally planned, and where I need to be: I graduated school, graduated law school, and met an absolutely amazing man that is beyond perfect for me.

The areas that haven't quite worked out are mostly financial and career. Some of you may remember that I started this blog because I was unemployed...and it's been a bit of a roller coaster since I graduated law school a couple years ago. And financially....well, I've never been financially stable I guess. I've never been able to go crazy around Christmas time and buy stuff for the whole family, or go on expensive weekend get-aways...or finance my own car. I feel like at 28 I should have improved from when I was 18. But I haven't. I wish I could say with confidence that in a few years I'll be where I want to be, financially, but with my career aspirations of working in a field that [normally] doesn't pay over $50,000, and school loans nearing the $200's, I just can't.

As the first person in my extended family to graduate from undergrad and law school, I think my family's expectations of what I would do with my life were high. I know they're looking out for me when they want me to land some lucrative job, but I think they've finally realized that's not what I want for myself, and seeing that reaction is difficult.

My aunts and my grandmother were having a conversation a few weeks ago about how life for my cousins and I has been so much easier than theirs, and they don't understand how we don't have our life together at this point. I've been a bit of an emotional wreck about this on my own, so being me, I clammed up and just tried to hide how much their commentaries bothered me. I know the challenges my cousins and I face can't be compared to what my grandmother and my aunts had to do to get ahead in life, but I don't feel like I'm where I am because I took the "get out of jail free" card either. I wish I had it in me to be more hungry for money, to want money bad enough that I didn't care what I did with my career, as long as I was bringing in the cash. I wish I was a fighter. I wish so many things, but I'm not. So I'm trying to work with the cards that I've been dealt, and as far as I can tell, I'm doing the best I can. I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to do.

The other day my mom mentioned that Jeff and I should be saving money, and I almost lost it. Jeff and I aren't not saving because we don't want to...we've actually tried...but eating or paying bills seems to take precedence every time. Everyone has an opinion about what I should do with my life and in what direction I should take my career, but honestly, none of them sound appealing. I wish they did. I don't know how to reach the financial stability I want. And I don't know how to do what I want, and not feel like I'm compromising my financial stability.

~~~~~~

I hope you reading this was as cathartic an experience as me writing it :)

February 7, 2011

I decided last week that I was not going to hold myself accountable on Sundays...everyone needs a day off, right? I figure I should still be productive on Saturday's...and this past Saturday I didn't blog for multiple reasons, one being that there just wasn't much to say. Anyhow, today's list of "did's" and "did not's" will encompass the whole weekend and today...

What I did:

• Went to the gym on Sunday
• Spent time with grandma on Saturday before she left for the airport
• Worked on various HS and HBA issues
• Applied to about three jobs over the course of the weekend
• Went in to the office today
• Signed, copied, stapled, and whole punched my asylum application and motion. Ready to file tomorrow in court....wish me luck!
• Looked for jobs today (no leads)
• Brainstormed with Reuben yesterday about a potential fundraising idea...stay tuned for details
• I made dinner tonight!
• Superbowl party with The Gang
• I'm starting to feel like I'm just listing random things I did...rather than productive ones...I may have to reassess what I'm doing :)
• Not sure when I did this, but I updated scholarship applicant bios

What I didn't do:

• I didn't work on my U-visa petition, so I'm going to have to call my client tomorrow and push back our appointment (I can't get a specific form off the website, which is really annoying)
• Small claims
• I didn't walk Lilo today since I had to go into the office earlier than expected. I need to figure out my schedule so I can make everything work the way it should
• So many things...I don't even know where to start. Maybe I'll have a better grasp of my to-do list tomorrow...

In the meantime, I leave you all with a couple pictures from our First Annual Non-Super-Bowl-Super-Bowl-BBQ: