Which brings me to a topic I've been wanting to raise for a while: jealously. It first came up when I wrote my blog entry about not finding a job, and I got an email from a reader asking if it was wrong to feel jealous when she heard that a friend or an acquaintance got a job, while she kept searching. My response in summary: no. I had the same feelings myself: Jeff had to tell me that I couldn't get upset every time someone I knew got a job. But I feel that jealously, to a point, is a part of nature. And I'd like to think that my jealously is harmless. I don't hate my sister-cousin Vanessa because she got to travel to Guatemala for the holidays and travel to Tikal, Antigua, etc. But I will admit I'm jealous. I think I've looked at her pictures about a dozen times already.
I keep waiting to reach a point in my life where I'm not struggling anymore, where the income is coming in, and I'm saving money and able to buy and do the things that everyone else buys and does. I have to remind myself that it's all part of life, that I am living life right now, that I should embrace it and stop waiting for something else. I'm also not so naive that I don't realize this might be a feeling that we all have for the rest of our life: we'll always want more, we'll always want to be somewhere else, we'll always want to achieve the next best thing.
It should be known: I'm not unhappy with where I am in my life right now, not in the least. I love coming home to Jeff, I love my family, and the friends I'm blessed to have. I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I am :)
Yeah, I really relate to your post. I know that hard work and paying your dues will one day pay off, but I often ask myself "when?" I'm 28 and eat spaghetti most nights because it is cheap and I'm still living like a broke college kid... I feel like I am on the verge of something, but whhhhhen? This new year I need to practice patience. Good things come to those who wait (and work hard.)
ReplyDeleteI know how this feels... and I have felt this way for 3 years! I think my problem is being jealous of something I am not sure I even want. I feel like 2010 is my year!
ReplyDeleteWhen asked by a reporter, "How much money is enough?" John D. Rockefeller replied, "Just a little bit more."
ReplyDeleteTake from this what you will.
Love the new blog...I completely agree...it sucks...I just want life to be here and stop planning all the time and worrying about tomorrow...
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